lh.narcissusinchains-第119部分

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　〃I　have　fed　this　night；　but　I　have　not　fed　the　ardeur。〃
　〃That's　what　I'm　feeling；〃　I　said；　〃the　ardeur。〃
　〃Oui；　I　am　shielding　as　hard　as　I　can；　yet　you　are　picking　up　on　it。　That　has　never　happened　before。〃
　〃Is　it　because　I've　got　my　own　ardeur？〃
　〃That　is　all　that　has　changed；　so　yes；　I　believe　so。〃
　〃You're　not　going　to　be　in　any　shape　to　help　with　Damian；　are　you？〃
　He　sighed　and　looked　down。　〃I　need　to　feed　all　my　hungers；　ma　petite。　I　have　not　had　this　much　difficulty　with　the　ardeur　in　centuries。　Something　about　sharing　it　with　you　has　affected　me。　I　did　not　know　until　I　felt　you　enter　the　building　that　it　had　changed。〃
　〃You　mean　your　control　is　better　farther　away　from　me？〃
　He　nodded。
　〃What　the　hell　is　this　'ardoo…whatever'？〃　Bobby　Lee　asked。
　I　glanced　back　at　him。　〃When　we　want　to　share；　I'll　let　you　know。〃
　Bobby　Lee　raised　his　eyebrows　at　that；　then　made　a　small　pushing　motion。　〃You're　the　boss；　ma'am　。。。　for　now。〃
　I　let　that　slide　and　turned　back　to　Jean…Claude。　〃What　do　we　do？〃
　Nathaniel　offered　a　suggestion。　〃Feed　him。〃
　I　looked　back　at　him；　and　the　look　must　have　been　enough；　because　he　put　his　hands　out　empty；　and　went　to　stand　by　the　fireplace。　Everyone　else　had　taken　a　seat；　except　for　Gil；　who　was　huddled　beside　one　of　the　chairs　on　the　floor；　clutching　a　pillow。
　I　turned　to　Jean…Claude；　and　it　was　Micah's　voice　that　turned　me　back　again。　〃I've　seen　Anita　in　the　　〃　he　changed　whatever　he　was　going　to　say　　〃grip　of　the　ardeur；　and　this　doesn't　look　like　it。　She's　way　too　calm。〃
　Jean…Claude　looked　past　me　at　him；　seeing　him；　I　think；　for　the　first　time；　at　least　in　person。　His　gaze　traveled　up　and　down　his　body；　an　assessing　look；　like　he　was　thinking　of　buying　or　was　trying　to　be　deliberately　insulting。
　Micah　either　didn't　catch　the　insult　or　was　proof　against　it；　because　he　started　walking　towards　us。　He　moved　in　a　well　of　his　own　power；　as　if　even　here；　surrounded　by　Jean…Claude's　things；　he　was　supremely　confident；　totally　at　ease。　He　moved　like　a　dancer；　pact；　graceful；　strong。　The　sight　of　him　tightened　things　low　in　my　body。　Jean…Claude　made　a　small　sound。　I　started　to　turn　towards　him；　but　it　was　too　late；　his　shields　shattered　and　the　ardeur　roared　over　me。　My　skin　ran　with　heat；　my　breath　stopped；　my　vision　was　gone　in　streamers　of　color。　Jean…Claude's　need　marched　over　me；　through　me；　inside　me。　It　screamed　in　my　head；　danced　down　my　nerves；　flowed　through　my　veins。　In　that　instant　if　he　had　asked　anything；　anything　at　all；　I　would　have　said　yes。
　My　vision　cleared　and　I　found　Jean…Claude　on　the　floor；　half…caught　in　a　spill　of　draperies　that　he'd　pulled　from　their　hangers；　so　that　he　sat　in　a　nest　of　white　and　silver。　His　face　was　almost　slack　with　need；　his　eyes　already　a　spill　of　blind　blue　fire。
　I　was　on　my　knees；　too；　and　didn't　remember　falling。　Micah　was　there；　taking　my　arm；　I　think　to　help　me　stand；　but　the　moment　he　touched　me　the　ardeur　leaped；　and　he　fell　to　the　floor　beside　me；　like　someone　had　struck　him　with　a　hammer；　his　legs　just　stopped　holding　him。　He　whispered；　〃Oh；　my　God。〃
　The　bodyguards　moved　in　then；　and　I　had　to　scream；　〃No！〃　There　must　have　been　something　in　my　voice；　because　all　three　of　them　froze　in　mid…motion。　〃No　one　touches　us；　no　one。〃　My　voice　was　high；　frantic。　There　was　a　very　real　chance　that　the　ardeur　could　spread　through　the　whole　room；　one　touch　at　a　time。　We　had　enough　problems　without　that。
　Micah　had　released　my　arm；　his　hands　nerveless　in　his　lap；　but　the　tie　had　been　made；　and　the　act　of　touching；　or　not；　didn't　change　it。
　Jean…Claude　crawled　from　the　bed　of　glittering　cloth；　slowly；　every　move　something　graceful　and　dangerous。　He'd　never　looked　more　predatory　than　he　did　at　that　moment。
　〃Jean…Claude；〃　I　whispered；　〃don't。〃　But　I　couldn't　move。　I　watched　him　like　a　tiny　bird　fascinated　as　the　serpent　glides　closer；　caught　between　terror　and　the　sheer　beauty　of　him。
　Asher　was　suddenly　there　in　the　space　between　the　cloth。　Jean…Claude　froze；　but　it　wasn't　that　stillness　that　the　old　vampires　could　fall　into；　there　was　a　thrumming　energy　to　him；　more　like　a　big　cat　about　to　pounce　than　something　cold　and　reptilian。
　〃Jean…Claude；　you　must　control　the　ardeur　better　than　this。〃　He　was　hugging　his　arms　as　if　he　felt　at　least　a　brush　of　it　himself。　He'd　noticed　the　new　faces　and　used　a　practiced　shake　of　his　head　to　spill　his　golden　hair　across　the　scars；　only　revealing　the　perfect　half。
　Jean…Claude's　voice　came　low　and　harsh。　〃I　cannot。〃
　I'd　been　afraid；　now　it　was　sheer　terror。　I　looked　up　at　Asher　and　saw　him　through　a　film　of　all　the　times　we'd　touched　him；　all　that　beauty；　all　the　beauty　that　I　still　saw。　I　whispered；　〃Help　us！〃
　Asher　was　shaking　his　head。　〃If　I　am　dragged　in　as　well；　it　will　help　no　one　〃
　〃Asher；　please！〃
　〃Once　he　feeds；　all　will　be　well；　simply　let　him　feed。〃
　I　shook　my　head。　〃Not　here；　not　like　this。〃
　Micah　said；　〃If　it　will　help；　why　not　let　him　feed？〃
　I　looked　at　him；　and　just　turning　to　him　made　my　mouth　part；　my　breath　catch。　It　was　almost　like　the　ardeur　remembered　him；　like　a　succulent　food　that　it　wanted　to　taste　again。
　It　took　two　tries　to　say；　〃You　don't　understand。〃
　Zane　said；　〃Anita　doesn't　let　Jean…Claude　feed　off　of　her。〃　He　and　Cherry　were　sitting　on　the　far　edge　of　the　couch；　watching　with　wide　eyes；　not　ing　near　us。
　〃I　thought　she　was　his　human　servant；〃　Micah　said。
　〃She　is。〃　Jean…Claude　whispered　it。
　Something　in　those　two　words　made　me　look　at　him；　made　me　stare　into　those　glittering　blue　eyes。　He　couldn't　trap　me　with　his　gaze　anymore；　because　I　was　his　human　servant；　but　tonight　there　was　a　pull　to　those　eyes。　I　wanted　to　cradle　his　face　in　my　hands；　wanted　to　taste　those　half…parted　lips。
　〃Anita！〃　Asher's　voice　jerked　me　around；　made　me　look　at　him。
　〃Help　me。〃
　〃He　can　feed　on　me。〃　Micah　said　it；　voice　soft。　We　all　turned　and　stared　at　him。
　He　looked　a　little　less　sure。　I　think　something　he　saw　on　our　faces　made　him　hesitate；　but　he　said　it　again。　〃If　a　little　blood　will　cure　this；　then　I'm　willing。〃
　〃He　has　fed　on　blood　tonight　already；〃　Asher　said。　〃It　is　not　blood　he　needs　but　。。。　voir　les　anges。〃
　〃English；　Asher；　even　I　didn't　understand　that　one；〃　I　said。
　He　waved　his　hands　as　if　erasing　what　he'd　said。　〃He　needs　release；　a　。。。　〃　He　said　several　things　in　rapid　French；　and　I　couldn't　follow　it。　Asher　was　in　great　distress　if　his　English　had　abandoned　him。
　I　was　careful　not　to　look　at　Micah　when　I　tried　to　explain。　〃It's　the　ardeur　that　Jean…Claude　needs　fed。〃
　〃He　needs　sex；　not　blood；〃　Nathaniel　said。　His　voice　was　soft；　but　a　glance　showed　him　standing　as　far　across　the　room　as　he　could　get。　I　didn't　blame　him　a　bit。
　〃The　first　time　you　fed　on　me　it　wasn't　intercourse；　just　contact；〃　he　said。
　I　nodded；　still　trying　not　to　look　at　any　of　the　men。　〃I　remember。〃
　〃Contact　is　okay；〃　Micah　said。
　I　had　to　look　at　him；　and　the　surprise　was　great　enough　that　for　just　a　second　I　almost　fought　free　of　the　ardeur；　I　could　almost　think。　〃What　kind　of　contact？〃
　〃Sexual　contact。〃　His　face　was　very　serious；　eyes　solemn；　as　if　he；　too；　could　think　again。　〃I　said　I　would　do　anything　to　be　your　Nimir…Raj；　Anita。　What　do　I　have　to　do　to　convince　you　I　mean　it？〃
　〃What　are　you　offering；　Micah？〃
　〃Whatever　you　need。〃　He　looked　past　me　to　Jean…Claude。　〃Whatever　you　both　need。〃
　I　felt　Jean…Claude's　attention　sharpen；　almost　like　a　physical　force；　and　the　ardeur　was　back；　thick　enough　to　drown　in。　My　breath　froze　in　my　throat；　my　pulse　was　too　fast　to　swallow。　Jean…Claude's　voice　came；　I　think　in　my　head；　because　his　lips　never　moved。　〃Be　careful　what　you　offer；　mon　ami；　my　control　is　poor　tonight。〃
　Micah　answered；　as　if　he'd　heard　Jean…Claude　too。　〃You　were　a　ménage　à　trois　with　the　Ulfric。　He's　gone。　I'm　here；　and　I'm　staying。　I　will　be　Anita's　Nimir…Raj；　whatever　that　means。〃
　I　managed　to　say；　〃Who　said　that　we　were　a　ménage　à　trois？〃
　〃Everyone；〃　he　said。
　I　wondered　who　everyone　was；　because　I　knew　it　wasn't　everyone。
　Jean…Claude　was　moving　forward　again；　painfully　slow；　every　movement　so　full　of　energy；　so　full　of　potential　violence　and　grace；　that　it　almost　hurt　to