lh.narcissusinchains-第24部分

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staring　back　at　me。
　〃Take　your　leopards；〃　Coronus　said；　〃and　go　in　peace。〃
　Another　scream　came　on　the　end　of　his　words。　〃Peace；〃　I　said。　I　felt　strangely　numb；　like　part　of　me　was　folding　away。　I　couldn't　stand　in　this　room　and　listen　to　Nathaniel's　screams；　and　feel。　Not　and　stay　sane。　A　quietness　that　I　sunk　into　when　I　killed　spilled　over　me；　and　it　felt　so　much　better。　There　are　worse　things　than　emptiness。
　〃Who　are　the　women？〃
　〃Swanmanes；〃　he　said。　〃No　concern　of　yours；　Nimir…Ra。〃
　I　looked　at　him　and　felt　a　smile　curl　my　lips。　I　knew　it　was　an　unpleasant　smile。　〃What　happens　to　them　when　we　leave？〃
　〃They'll　heal；〃　he　said。　〃We　don't　want　them　dead。〃
　My　smile　widened；　I　couldn't　help　it。　I　laughed；　but　it　was　a　bad　sound；　even　to　me。　〃You　expect　me　to　leave　them　to　your　mercy？〃
　〃They　are　swans　not　leopards。　Why　should　you　care？〃
　Nathaniel's　voice　came　thick；　and　when　I　turned　I　saw　tears　sliding　down　his　face。　〃Don't　leave　them。　Please；　don't　leave　them　here。〃
　Jamil　pulled　another　blade　out。　Only　three　to　go。　Nathaniel　didn't　scream　this　time；　just　closed　his　eyes　and　shivered。　〃Please；　Anita；　they　would　never　have　e　here　if　I　hadn't　asked　them。〃
　I　looked　at　the　three　women；　chained　naked　to　the　walls；　gagged；　surrounded　by　dozens　of　clean；　unused　blades。　They　watched　me　with　wide　eyes；　their　breath　ing　in　quick　shallow　pants。　Their　fear　slid　down　my　throat　as　if　it　were　wine　and　I　could　drink　it　down；　deep　and　cool。　Fear；　like　wine；　goes　good　with　food。　And　I　knew　just　by　looking　that　they　were　food。　They　were　swans；　not　predators。　They　were　not　us。　I　was　channeling　Richard　now。　I　was　being　a　smorgasbord　of　the　boys　tonight；　of　their　thoughts　and　feelings。　But　there　was　one　thing　that　was　my　own。　Rage。　Not　the　hot　rage　that　the　wolves　used　when　they　killed。　This　was　something　colder　and　more　sure　of　itself。　It　was　a　rage　that　had　nothing　to　do　with　blood　and　everything　to　do　with　。。。　death。　I　wanted　them　all　dead　for　what　they'd　done　to　Nathaniel　and　Gregory。　I　wanted　them　dead。　By　the　rules；　I　couldn't　have　them　dead；　but　I'd　do　what　I　could。　I'd　cheat　them　of　their　other　victims。　I　would　not；　could　not；　leave　the　three　women　here　like　this。　I　could　not　do　it。　Simple　as　that。
　〃Don't　worry；　Nathaniel；　we　won't　leave　them　behind。〃
　〃You　have　no　right　to　them；〃　Coronus　said。
　Gregory　growled　at　him。　I　touched　Gregory's　furred　arm。　〃It's　alright。〃　I　looked　at　Coronus　surrounded　by　his　snakes。　〃If　I　were　you　I　wouldn't　tell　me　what　I　have　a　right　to。　If　I　were　you；　I'd　shut　the　fuck　up　and　let　us　walk　out　of　here　with　everyone　we　came　for。〃
　〃No；　they　are　ours　until　their　swan　king　rescues　them。〃
　〃Hey；　he's　not　here；　but　I　am；　and　I　say　to　you；　Coronus　of　the　Black　Water　Clan；　that　I　will　take　the　swanmanes　with　me。　I　will　not　leave　them　behind。〃
　〃Why？　Why　do　you　care？〃
　〃Why？　Partly　because　I　just　don't　like　you。　Partly　because　I　want　you　dead　and　I　can't　do　that　tonight　according　to　lycanthrope　law。　So　I'll　cheat　you　of　your　prize。　That　will　have　to　suffice。　But　don't　ever；　ever　get　in　my　way　again；　because　I　will　kill　you；　Coronus。　I　will　kill　you。　In　fact；　I'd　enjoy　killing　you。〃　I　realized　that　was　true。　I　often　killed　cold；　but　there　was　something　in　me　tonight　that　wanted　him　dead。　Revenge　maybe。　I　didn't　question　it；　I　just　let　it　show　in　my　eyes。　I　let　the　shapeshifter　see　it；　because　I　knew　he'd　understand　it。　He　wasn't　human；　he　knew　death　when　it　looked　at　him。
　He　did　know。　I　saw　the　knowledge　in　his　eyes；　tasted　that　fresh　spurt　of　fear　like　a　chemical　rush。　He　looked　suddenly　tired。　〃I　would　give　them　up　if　I　could；　but　I　cannot。　I　must　have　something　to　show　for　this　night's　activities。　I　was　hoping　it　would　be　the　swans　and　the　leopards；　but　if　I　cannot　have　one；　I　must　have　the　other。〃
　〃Why　do　you　care　about　either　the　swans　or　the　leopards？〃　I　asked。　〃They　are　nothing　to　you；　you　cannot　make　them　part　of　your　tribe。〃
　His　eyes　shut　down；　unreadable。　But　that　flash　of　fear　grew；　swelling　in　a　rich　odor　of　sweat　and　bitterness。　He　was　very　afraid。　And　it　wasn't　of　me；　not　exactly；　but　of　something　that　would　happen　if　he　didn't　keep　the　swans。　But　what？
　〃I　must　keep　them；　Anita　Blake。〃
　〃Tell　me　why？〃
　〃I　cannot。〃　The　fear　was　leaving　him。　Until　that　moment　I　never　knew　that　resignation　had　a　scent；　but　I　could　smell　the　quiet　bitterness　of　defeat　on　him。　It　flared　through　me　in　a　fierce　wave；　and　I　knew　we'd　won。
　He　shook　his　head。　〃I　cannot　give　the　swans　up。〃
　〃You've　already　lost　them。　I　can　smell　the　defeat　on　you。〃
　He　bowed　his　head。　〃I　would　give　them　up　if　I　could；　but　please；　believe　me；　I　cannot　give　them　to　you。　I　cannot。〃
　〃Cannot；　or　will　not？〃　I　asked。
　He　smiled；　and　it　was　bitter　like　the　odor　from　his　skin。　〃Cannot。〃　Even　his　voice　held　reluctance；　as　if　he　wanted　to　just　say　yes；　but　couldn't。
　〃Do　what's　best　for　your　people；　Coronus；　walk　away　from　this。〃　I　knew　in　some　indefinable　way　that　we　would　win。　My　will　to　win　was　greater　than　his。　We　would　carry　this　night　in　victory。　Some　of　the　snakes　would　die；　because　their　leader　had　lost　his　nerve。　Without　his　strength　of　will　to　buoy　them；　they　could　not　win。　They　didn't　want　to　be　here。　I　looked　at　each　of　them；　and　in　turn；　they　scented　the　air　as　I　stared　at　them。　Defeat　hung　over　them　like　smoke；　they　had　no　will　to　win。　They　didn't　want　to　be　here。　So　why　were　they　here？　Their　alpha；　their　leader；　was　here；　and　his　will　was　theirs。　So　why　were　they　all　weak；　as　if　something　was　missing　inside　their　group；　something　that　made　them　weak？
　I　realized　with　a　start　that　this　was　what　everyone　had　sensed　from　the　leopards　before　I　came　to　them　。。。　this　smell　of　weakness　and　defeat。　Nathaniel　was　weak。　But　now　my　will　was　his；　and　I　was　not　weak。　I　turned　to　stare　into　his　face；　his　eyes；　and　I　saw　through　all　the　pain；　the　torture；　that　he　was　not　hopeless。　When　I　first　met　him；　Nathaniel　had　had　the　most　hopeless　eyes　I'd　ever　seen。　But　he　knew　I'd　e。　He'd　known　with　an　absolute　certainty　that　I　would　not　leave　him　here　like　this。　Gregory　could　doubt；　because　he　thought　with　that　part　of　him　that　was　human。　But　Nathaniel　trusted　me　with　something　that　had　nothing　to　do　with　logic；　and　everything　to　do　with　truth。
　I　turned　back　to　Coronus。　〃Run　away　from　this；　Coronus；　or　some　of　you　won't　see　dawn。〃
　He　sighed　heavily。　〃So　be　it。〃　And　then　he　did　what　he　shouldn't　have　done。　Something　that　had　no　logic　to　it；　from　a　nonhuman　point　of　view。　He　was　going　to　lose；　and　he　knew　it。　Yet　he　did　a　very　human　thing。　He　attacked　us　anyway。　Only　humans　waste　energy　like　that　when　they've　been　given　an　out。
　The　two　snakes　guarding　Coronus　suddenly　launched　themselves　at　me；　and　I　was　too　close。　I'd　been　so　sure　with　my　new　werewolf　senses　that　they　wouldn't　fight　us。　I'd　been　careless。　I'd　forgotten　that　in　the　end　we're　only　half　animal。　And　that　human　half　will　fuck　you　every　time。
　They　came　in　a　blur　of　speed　too　fast　for　me　to　do　anything　but　start　for　the　other　boot　knife。　I　knew　I'd　never　reach　it。　Gregory　leaped　in　a　butter…colored　streak；　taking　one　snake　out　in　midair；　rolling　on　the　floor。　But　the　other　one　was　on　me；　claws　slashing　down　before　I　hit　the　ground　with　it　riding　me。　I　was　already　going　numb；　it　didn't　hurt。　The　claws　ripped　at　my　stomach；　diving　through　the　cloth　of　my　shirt　to　the　flesh　underneath。　I　felt　it　digging　for　my　heart。　I　raised　my　right　hand　to　try　and　grab　the　wrist；　but　it　felt　like　I　was　moving　in　slow　motion。　My　hand　seemed　to　weigh　a　thousand　pounds；　and　distantly　I　knew　I　was　hurt；　badly　hurt。　Something　bad　had　happened　in　that　first　blur　of　claws。
　Gregory　was　suddenly　there；　pale　fur　caught　between　the　multicolored　snakes。　He　fell　on　top　of　me；　with　one　of　the　things　on　top　of　him　ripping　him　up。　He　never　tried　to　defend　himself；　he　clawed　at　the　one　riding　me；　tore　it　away　from　me；　and　the　three　of　them　fought　on　top　of　me。　There　was　a　moment　when　Gregory's　eyes　and　that　snarling　mouth　were　inches　from　mine。　We　were　pressed　as　close　as　lovers；　and　I　knew　that　the　claws　in　me　were　his。　He'd　fallen　against　me；　been　pushed　into　my　flesh。　Then　other　hands　were　pulling　us　all　apart。　I　had　a　glimpse　of　Jamil's　face；　saw　his　lips