lh.narcissusinchains-第34部分
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d you've charged him with killing your lupa。 Which is just stupid； I'm not dead。〃
〃Do you know what the pack is voting on right now； right this minute？〃
〃Not a clue。〃
〃Whether I will be picking another lupa from the pack before the next full moon。〃
〃I guess you'll need one；〃 I said； and even hearing myself acknowledge it made my stomach clench。
〃A lover； Anita； they're wanting to force me to pick a lover from the pack。〃
〃You mean we can't date now？〃
〃That's the vote。〃
〃Stephen； one of your wolves； and Vivian； one of my leopards； are living together。 No one seems to care about that。〃
〃Stephen is one of the least of us。 They wouldn't tolerate cross…species dating for a dominant。 And they certainly won't tolerate it for their Ulfric。〃
〃Human is good enough to fuck； but not leopard；〃 I said。
〃We are human； Anita。 But we aren't cats； we're wolves。〃
〃So you won't be dating me； or anything； now？〃
〃Not if I want to stay Ulfric。〃
〃What happens to the triumvirate？〃
〃I don't know。〃
〃You're going to give me up just like that。〃 I was suddenly cold； my stomach like a hard frozen knot。
〃You've been out of my life for over half a year。 How do I know that something else won't scare you off again？〃
〃I planned on dating you both； Richard； on being with you both。〃 I realized as soon as I said it that I meant it。 I'd made a decision and hadn't realized it。
〃What about a week from now； or a month； or even a year？ What will scare you off next time？〃
〃I don't plan on running anymore； Richard。〃
〃Nice to know。〃 I could feel his anger like something hot and touchable over the phone。 Either his shield was leaking； or he'd lowered it。
〃You don't want to be with me anymore？〃 My voice was soft； hurt； and I hated it。 Hated it。
〃I want to be with you； you know that。 You drive me crazy； but I still want you。〃
〃But you'll still give me up；〃 I said。 My voice was a little stronger； but not much。 Richard was dumping me。 Fine； it was his prerogative。 I was a pain in the ass； I knew that。 But my chest ached with it； damn it。
〃I don't want to； Anita； but I'll do what I have to do。 You taught me that。〃
My eyes were hot。 I'd taught him that。 Great。 If we were really going to break up for good； then I would not cry or beg。 I would not be weak。 My voice came out more solid； more sure of itself。 My stomach was still in cold knots； but it didn't show in my voice。 The effort that it took to just sound normal over the phone made my chest tight。 〃You're Ulfric； wolf king。 Your word is law in the pack。〃
〃I've worked hard to make sure that everyone has an equal voice； Anita。 I can't pull rank now。 It would undo everything I've tried to change。〃
〃Ideals are great in theory； Richard； but they don't work too well in real life。〃
〃I disagree；〃 he said。 His anger was already leaking away。 He just sounded tired。
〃I'm not going to argue things we've been arguing since we met。 I'm going to concentrate on the things I can change。 And no matter how much we want to； we can't change each other； Richard。 We are what we are。〃 My voice was uncertain again； full of some of the emotion I was feeling。 〃So； is Gregory okay？〃
〃He's okay。〃
〃I want him back； you know that。〃
〃I know that。〃 His anger was making a eback。
〃Now that I'm not lupa； not pack； how do I get him back？〃
〃You have to e to the lupanar tomorrow night and petition for him。〃
〃What do you mean； 'petition for him？' 〃
〃You have to prove yourself worthy。 There'll be some kind of test。〃
〃Like multiple choice； essay； what？〃
〃I don't know yet。 We're 。。。 voting on it。〃
〃Fuck； Richard； there's a reason why we have a representative democracy in this country； not a pure one。 Pure one person； one vote； just doesn't work well。 You can't decide anything that way。〃
〃They're deciding； Anita。 You're just not liking the way it's going。〃
〃How could you take Gregory？ How could you do that？〃
〃As soon as I realized what had happened； I knew that the pack would vote you out。 Most of them weren't happy with you even before。 You weren't pack； and they didn't like that。 The fact that you've avoided them all of them for six months didn't help。〃
〃I had to get my shit together before I could e back； Richard。〃
〃And while you were getting your shit together； mine was falling apart。〃
〃I'm sorry； Richard； I am。 But I didn't know。〃
〃Tomorrow night at the lupanar； about an hour after dark。 You can bring all your wereleopards and any other shapeshifters that are your allies。 If it were me； as Ulfric； I'd bring the wererats。〃
〃I'm not lupa anymore； so they aren't my allies； are they？〃
〃No；〃 he said； and the anger was gone again。 Richard never could hold a grudge for long。
〃What happens if I don't win Gregory back？〃
He didn't answer me； just the sound of his breathing on the phone。 〃Richard； what happens to Gregory？〃
〃He'll be judged by the pack。〃
〃And？〃
〃If he's convicted of killing our lupa； it's a death sentence。〃
〃But I'm right here； Richard。 I'm not dead。 You can't kill Gregory for killing me； when he didn't do it。〃
〃I delayed the judgment until you were well enough to attend。 It was the best I could do。〃
〃You know； Richard； sometimes it's good to be king。 A king gets to pardon whomever he wants； a king gets to fuck whomever he wants。〃
〃I know that。〃
〃Then be king； Richard； really be king。 Be their Ulfric； not their president。〃
〃I'm doing what I think best for them all。〃
〃Richard； you can't do this。〃
〃It's already done。〃
〃Richard； if I fail your little test； I will not let you execute Gregory。 Do you understand me？〃
〃You won't be allowed to bring guns into the lupanar； just knives。〃 His voice had gone very careful。
〃I remember the rule。 But Richard； are you listening to me？ Are you understanding me？〃
〃If we try to execute Gregory tomorrow night； you'll fight us； I understand。 But understand this； Anita； your leopards are no match for us； not even with Micah and his pard。 We outnumber you five to one； maybe more。〃
〃It doesn't matter； Richard。 I can't stand by and watch Gregory die； not for something stupid like this。〃
〃Will you try to save one of your cats and risk losing them all？ Do you really want to see what would happen if they tried to fight their way out of the lupanar； through the pack？ I wouldn't want to see it。〃
〃This is 。。。 damn it； Richard； don't put me in a corner； you won't like it。〃
〃Is that a threat？〃
〃Richard 。。。 〃 I had to stop in mid…sentence and count slowly under my breath。 But counting to ten wasn't going to do it； maybe a bijillion。 〃Richard；〃 my voice came out calmer； 〃I will save Gregory； whatever it takes。 I will not let the wolves slaughter my leopards； whatever that takes。 You lost your temper and took one of my leopards。 You made your pack a freaking democracy； where you don't even have presidential veto。 Are you really going to pound the mistakes by starting a war between your pack and my pard？〃
〃I still think that everyone having a voice is a good idea。〃
〃It's a great idea； but it's not working； is it？〃 He was quiet again。 〃Richard； don't do this。〃
〃It's out of my hands。 I'm sorry； Anita； you don't know how sorry。〃
〃Richard； you won't really let them execute Gregory。 I mean； not really。〃
Silence again。
〃Richard； talk to me。〃
〃I'll do what I can； but I've lost the vote on it。 I can't change that。〃
〃Can you really stand by and watch him die for something he didn't do？〃
〃How do you know he didn't infect you on purpose？〃
〃I was there。 He fell on top of me with two of the snake things riding him。 It was an accident。 He kept them from cutting out my heart。 He saved my life； Richard； and this is damn poor payment。〃
〃He couldn't have turned his claws aside at the last minute？〃 Richard asked。
〃No； it all happened too fast。〃
He laughed； but it was bitter。 〃You've been around us so long； and you still don't understand what we are。 I could turn aside in less than a blink of an eye。 Gregory isn't slower than I am。 As a leopard he's quicker； more agile。〃
〃Are you saying he did this on purpose？〃
〃I'm saying that he had a fraction of a second to decide what he'd do； and he decided to keep you as their Nim
