lh.narcissusinchains-第39部分

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　that　curled　on　the　seat　beside　his　thigh。　He'd　found　that　if　he　let　his　hair　fall　onto　the　floorboard；　sometimes　it　tangled　around　the　pedals。　He　had　to　watch　the　gear　shift　between　the　seats；　too。　I'd　never　had　hair　that　long。
　Nathaniel　had　only　had　his　driver's　license　for　a　few　months；　even　though　he　was　twenty。　Gabriel；　their　old　alpha；　had　not　encouraged　them　to　be　independent。　I　sort　of　demanded　it　of　them；　as　far　as　they　were　able。　At　first　Nathaniel　had　been　lost　when　I　started　to　demand　that　he　decide　things　for　himself；　but　lately；　he'd　been　doing　better。　It　made　me　hopeful；　and　I　needed　some　hope　right　now。
　He'd　picked　out　the　clothes　that　he'd　brought　to　the　makeshift　hospital　for　me。　Black　jeans；　royal　blue　scoop　neck　T…shirt；　a　black　bra　that　fit　low　enough　to　acmodate　the　low　neckline；　matching　undies；　black　jogging　socks；　black　Nikes；　a　short…sleeved　black　shirt　to　cover　the　shoulder　rig　with　the　Browning　Hi…Power。　People　kept　urging　me　to　go　shopping　for　a　new　main　gun。　They　were　probably　right。　There　was　probably　something　out　there　that　would　fit　my　hand　better　than　the　Browning。　But　I'd　been　putting　it　off。　The　Browning　was　like　a　piece　of　me。　I　felt　inplete　without　it；　like　I　was　missing　a　hand。　It　was　going　to　take　something　more　than　a　smaller　grip　to　convince　me　to　switch　guns。　So；　for　now；　it　was　still　me　and　the　Browning。
　Nathaniel　had　also　brought　my　wrist　sheaths　and　the　matching　silver　knives。　I　was　going　to　leave　them　in　the　car　since　the　shirt　was　short…sleeved。　They　were　a　little　too　aggressive　to　wear　into　the　police　station。　I　had　just　replaced　the　back　sheath　I　had　ruined　in　New　Mexico。　It　had　been　a　special　order；　and　it　had　cost　mucho　extra　dinero　to　get　a　rush　job　on　it；　but　it　had　been　worth　it。　There　really　wasn't　anywhere　else　on　my　body　that　I　could　carry　a　blade　that　large　and　still　be　able　to　sit　down　without　the　hilt　showing。
　We　drove　in　silence。　Nathaniel　hadn't　even　turned　the　radio　on；　which　he　liked　to　do。　He　rarely　moved　in　silence　if　he　could　have　music　for　background。　But　tonight　he　let　the　silence　seep　into　the　Jeep。
　I　finally　asked　a　question　I'd　been　wanting　an　answer　for。　〃Who　put　the　derringer　in　my　robe　pocket？〃　The　derringer　was　in　the　glove　partment。
　〃I　did。〃
　〃Thanks。〃
　〃The　two　things　that　you　always　do　first　is　get　dressed　and　get　armed。〃　His　smile　flashed　in　an　instant　of　street　light。　〃I'm　not　sure　which　is　your　highest　priority。〃
　I　had　to　smile。　〃I'm　not　sure　either。〃
　〃How　are　you　doing？〃　His　voice　was　very　careful　when　he　asked　it；　quiet　in　the　rushing　silence　of　the　car。
　〃I　don't　want　to　talk　about　it。〃
　〃Okay。〃　He　was　one　of　the　few　people　that　would　actually　take　me　at　my　word　and　not　press。　If　I　told　Nathaniel　I　didn't　want　to　talk；　we　didn't　talk。　The　silence　between　us　was　no　longer　strained。　In　fact；　silence　with　Nathaniel　was　one　of　the　most　relaxing　sounds　of　my　day。
　Nathaniel　parked　the　Jeep　and　we　got　out。　I　had　my　executioner's　license　with　me；　and　most　people　knew　me　on　sight。　It　occurred　to　me　that　they　thought　I　was　dead。　As　we　walked　towards　the　door；　I　realized　I　should　probably　have　called　ahead　and　given　them　a　heads　up；　but　it　was　too　late　now。　I　was　a　yard　from　the　door。　I　wasn't　using　the　cell　phone　now。
　I　was　a　familiar　enough　sight　that　I　could　usually　just　wave　as　I　went　past　the　desk；　but　tonight　the　officer's　eyes　got　big　as　he　waved　me　on　to　the　left　so　I　didn't　have　to　go　through　the　metal　detector。　But　he　was　picking　up　a　phone　as　he　did　it。　I　was　betting　he　was　calling　ahead。　You　don't　see　people　rise　from　the　dead　every　night。　Well；　I　guess　I　do；　but　most　cops　don't。
　I　was　up　the　stairs　leading　to　RPIT's　headquarters　when　Detective　Clive　Perry　opened　the　door　and　started　down　the　stairs。　He　was　slender；　handsome；　African…American；　and　the　most　unfailingly　polite　person　I'd　ever　met。　He　actually　missed　the　step　and　had　to　catch　himself　on　the　railing。　Even　then　he　leaned　against　the　wall　like　his　legs　weren't　working　quite　right。　He　looked　shocked　　no；　scared。
　〃Anita。〃　His　voice　was　breathy。　It　was　probably　the　second　time　in　all　the　years　we'd　known　each　other　that　he　had　used　my　first　name。　It　was　usually　Ms。　Blake。
　I　responded　in　kind；　smiling。　〃Clive；　it's　good　to　see　you。〃
　His　eyes　flicked　from　me　to　Nathaniel；　then　back　to　me。　〃You're　supposed　to　be　。。。　〃　He　straightened　on　the　stairs。　〃I　mean；　we　heard　。。。　〃　I　watched　him　visibly　try　to　rally。　By　the　time　we　reached　the　step　he　was　on；　he　looked　almost　normal。　But　his　next　question　wasn't　normal。　〃Did　you　die？〃
　I　smiled；　then　felt　the　smile　fade　as　I　stared　into　his　eyes。　He　was　serious。　I　guess　I　did　raise　the　dead　for　a　living；　so　the　question　wasn't　as　ridiculous　as　it　sounded；　but　I　was　realizing　that　some　of　his　shock　wasn't　just　from　seeing　me　walking　around。　It　was　from　his　fear　of　what　I　was　now。　He　thought　I　was　the　walking　dead。　In　some　ways　he　was　closer　to　the　mark　than　was　fortable；　in　others　he　was　so　far　off。
　〃No；　Clive；　I　didn't　die。〃
　He　nodded；　but　there　was　a　tightness　around　his　eyes　that　made　me　wonder；　if　I　tried　to　touch　his　arm；　would　he　flinch？　I　didn't　want　to　find　out；　so　Nathaniel　and　I　just　walked　past　him；　leaving　him　alone　on　the　stairs。
　I　pushed　into　the　squad　room　with　its　crowded　desks　and　the　busy　clatter　of　people。　RPIT　had　some　of　its　busiest　hours　after　three　A。M。　The　noise　died　gradually　like　fading　water　rings；　going　out　into　the　room；　until　I　moved　in　silence　between　the　desks　and　the　staring　faces。　Nathaniel　stayed　at　my　back；　moving　like　an　attractive　shadow。
　I　finally　said；　loud　enough　to　carry　through　the　room；　〃The　rumors　of　my　death　are　greatly　exaggerated。〃　And　the　room　exploded　into　noise。　I　was　suddenly　surrounded　by　men；　and　a　few　women；　hugging　me；　slapping　me　on　the　back；　pumping　my　hand。　Smiling　faces；　relieved　eyes。　No　one　else　showed　the　reservations　that　Clive　Perry　had　shown　on　the　stairs；　and　it　made　me　wonder　about　his　religious　background；　or　his　metaphysical　one。　He　wasn't　a　sensitive；　but　that　didn't　mean　he　hadn't　grown　up　around　people　who　were。
　It　was　Zerbrowski　who　picked　me　pletely　off　the　ground　in　a　huge　bear　hug。　He's　only　five　eight；　and　not　that　big；　but　he　spun　me　around　the　room；　finally　putting　me　down；　laughing　and　a　little　unsteady　on　my　feet。　〃Damn；　Anita；　damn；　I　thought　we　were　never　going　to　see　you　e　through　that　door　again。〃　He　pushed　a　tangle　of　dark　curls　that　were　beginning　to　streak　with　gray　from　his　forehead。　He　needed　a　haircut；　but　then　he　usually　did。　His　clothes　were　the　usual　mismatch；　as　if　he'd　chosen　his　tie　and　shirt　in　the　dark。　He　dressed　like　he　was　either　color…blind　or　didn't　give　a　shit。　I　was　betting　on　the　latter。
　〃It's　good　to　see　you；　too。　I　hear　you're　actually　holding　someone　on　suspicion　of　having　killed　me。〃
　His　smile　faded　around　the　edges。　〃Yeah；　Count　Dracula's　in　a　cell。〃
　〃Can　you　get　him　out；　because　as　you　see；　I　am　very　much　alive。〃
　Zerbrowski's　eyes　narrowed。　〃I　saw　the　pictures；　Anita。　You　were　covered　in　blood。〃
　I　shrugged。
　His　eyes　became　cool；　suspicious　cop　eyes。　〃It's　been　what；　four　nights？　You're　looking　positively　spry　for　suffering　that　much　blood　loss。〃
　I　could　feel　my　own　face　grow　neutral；　distant；　as　cool　and　unreadable　as　any　cop's。　〃Can　you　get　Jean…Claude　out　and　ready　to　go？　I'd　like　to　take　him　home　before　it　gets　light。〃
　〃Dolph's　going　to　want　to　talk　to　you　before　you　leave。〃
　〃I　thought　he　might。　Can　you　please　start　processing　Jean…Claude　while　I　talk　to　Dolph？〃
　〃You　going　to　take　him　to　your　house？〃
　〃I'm　going　to　drop　him　off　at　his　place；　not　that　it's　any　of　your　business。　You're　my　friend；　Zerbrowski；　not　my　dad。〃
　〃I've　never　wanted　to　be　your　dad；　Anita。　That's　Dolph's　delusion；　not　mine。〃
　I　sighed。　〃Yeah。〃　I　looked　up　at　Zerbrowski。　〃Will　you　please　get　Jean…Claude　ready　to　go？〃
　He　looked　at　me　for　a　second　or　two；　then　nodded。　〃Okay。〃　He　looked　past　me　to　Nathaniel；　who　had　moved　to　the　side　of　the　room　to　let　the　great　reunion　take　place。　〃Who's　that？〃
　〃Nathaniel；　a　friend。〃
　He　looked　back　at　me。　〃A　little　young；　isn't　he？〃
　〃He's　only　six　years　younger　than　I　am；　Zerbrowski；　but　he　drove　me　tonight；　so　I　wouldn't　ha