lh.narcissusinchains-第56部分
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It made sense。 It was hard to argue with the logic of it； but I wanted to。 〃What could be the other reasons？〃
〃Belle Morte treated you as a vampire of her line。 If through the marks or your necromancy you have some of the powers of a vampire； you may have others。 It could be that leopards will be your animal to call。 I admit that the first is the more likely reason； but the second is also possible。〃
I leaned back enough to see his face。 〃Are you attracted to the wolves？〃 I asked。
〃I find it pleasant to have the wolves around me。 It is forting to touch them like a 。。。 pet； or lover。〃
I wasn't sure how I felt about him using pet and lover in the same sentence； but I let it go。 〃So you want to have sex with the werewolves？〃
〃Do you want to have sex with Nathaniel？〃
〃No 。。。 not exactly。〃
〃But you want to touch him and be touched？〃
I had to think about that for a few seconds。 〃I guess so。〃
〃In a true joining of animal and vampire； there is a desire in both to touch； for one to serve and the other to take care of them。〃
〃Padma； the Master of Beasts； treated his animals like shit。〃
〃One of the many reasons that Padma will always be a secondary power on the Council is his belief that all power must be taken； that all power must e through fear。 True power es when others offer it to you and you merely accept it as a gift； not as the spoils of some personal war。〃
〃So the fact that you treat your wolves better than most is just； what； a political decision？〃
He shrugged； still holding me against him。 〃I do not know how other vampires feel。 I know only that Belle Morte felt attracted to her cats and I feel the same for my wolves。 Perhaps it is only her line that turns the bond between animal and vampire into something like lovers？ Much of her power fed into sex； or at least； attraction； and perhaps that is not how others feel？〃 He frowned。 〃I had not truly thought about that before。 Perhaps it is another benefit of her lineage or a shortfall of it that most of my powers turn to something resembling sex。〃
〃Does Asher feel the same way about his animal to call？〃
〃He has no animal to call。〃
I widened my eyes。 〃I thought all master vamps over a certain age had an animal to call。〃
〃Most of the time they do； but not always。 Just as his bite can give true sexual release and mine cannot。 We have different powers。〃
〃But not having an animal to call is like a major 。。。 〃
〃It means he is weaker than I am。〃
〃But he could still be Master of the City somewhere else。 I mean I've met Masters of the City that had no animal to call before。〃
〃If there was a territory vacant in this country； and he would be willing to leave us； then yes； he might rise to Master of the City。〃
I started to ask； Then why doesn't he go？ But I was pretty sure I knew the answer； and it was a painful answer； so I left it unsaid。 Maybe I was growing up at last。 Not every thought that came into my head had to e out of my mouth。
〃Or it could simply be that you've wanted Nathaniel for a very long time。 There is satisfaction in finally giving in to the desire。〃
I pushed away from him。 〃You know； you're not very good at this forting stuff。〃
〃You said no games。 Isn't a lie the same as playing a game？〃
I frowned at him。 〃I did not have sex with Nathaniel。〃
〃e； ma petite； you did not have intercourse； but to say you did not have sex is splitting the hair a little too fine； no？〃
I glared at him and tried to be angry； but there was something closer to panic than anger making my heart beat faster。 〃Are you saying that what we just did qualifies as sex？〃
〃Are you saying that it did not？〃
I turned so I couldn't see his face； hugging my arms around myself。 I finally turned back to look at him。 I tried leaning against the wall； but the tiles were cold and I was still naked。 I needed my clothes； but they were out in the other room； and I was so not ready to see the other men again。
〃So you're saying that we had sex all of us？〃
He took a deep breath。 〃What answer do you want； ma petite？〃
〃Truth would be nice。〃
〃No； you do not want the truth。 I thought that you did； or I would have taken better care about what I said。〃 He looked tired。 〃I am glad you are the woman that you are； but there are moments when I wish that you could simply enjoy something without being chased around the room by your guilt and your morals afterwards。 What we did tonight is a glorious thing。 A thing to be shared and treasured； not something to be ashamed of。〃
〃I was doing better with it before you told me it counts as sex。〃
〃And the fact that I had to tell you that it counts as sex means you are still lying to yourself more than I have ever tried to lie to you。〃
〃What's that supposed to mean？〃
He held up a hand。 〃I will say no more about this。 You do not want the truth； and you told me not to lie。 I am out of options。〃
I hugged myself and frowned at the floor。 I tried to wrap my mind around what he'd said； what we'd done； and I just couldn't do it。 We needed a change of topic； fast。
〃Jason acted like a power substitute for Richard；〃 I said。
〃Oui。〃 He let me change the subject without a word or a change in expression。
〃I didn't know we could do that。〃
〃Nor did I。〃 He took those few gliding steps that put him beside me again。 〃If it is fort that you want； more than truth； then I can do that。〃 He touched my chin； raised my face so that our gazes met。 〃But you must tell me when you do not want the truth； ma petite。 It is usually your greatest demand on me。〃
I stared up into his beautiful face and understood what he was offering fort； but not honesty。 forting lies； because I didn't want to hear the truth。 〃I don't want you to lie to me； but I'm about at my limit for hard truths for the day。 I need a breather。〃
〃You want a space of calm to think about everything。 I understand that。 I can even give it to you for a few hours； but you have to confront Richard at the lupanar tonight； and I fear that more hard truths await you there。〃
I put my face against his chest； cuddled into the smoothness of his skin； caught between the furred lapels。 〃Your bringing up Richard isn't going to make me feel better。〃
〃My apologies。〃 He was rubbing my back with his hands； over and over。 The movement made the fur on the sleeves rub up and down my body； from my butt to my shoulders。 It was soothing and not soothing at the same time。 I looked up at him and didn't know whether to cry or scream。 〃I thought I fed the ardeur。〃
His hands went still against my body。 〃You have； and you have fed it well； but it is always just below the surface。 Like being full but still admiring a beautifully made dessert。〃
I didn't really like the analogy； but couldn't think of a better one。 I pressed my body into his robe； let him cradle me against his body； and listened to the forting beat of his heart。
I spoke with my face pressed against his chest； the black furred edge of the lapels tickling my lips。 〃Why didn't you warn me that she could do that？〃
〃If you were a vampire of my line； then I would have warned you； but you are not vampire； you are human； and it should not work that way for you。〃
I leaned back enough to see his face。 〃Can she enter any of her 。。。 children？〃
〃No； her ability to look in upon her children only lasts for a few nights。 Once the new vampire is strong enough to control its own hunger； then she is unable to enter； as if some door closes that was held open before。〃
〃She called my beast； or beasts； or whatever the hell is going on with me。 She called it to the surface like she knew what she was doing。〃
〃Her animal to call is all great cats。〃
〃So； leopards；〃 I said。
He nodded。 〃Among other things。〃
〃I thought only the Master of Beasts could call more than one animal。〃
〃It was the ability he came with from almost the beginning； but many of the oldest grow into a variety of powers。 She began； as I understand it； able to call only leopards； then one by one the other great cats answered to her。〃
〃If I really am a wereleopard； will she be able to control me if she meets me？〃
〃You cast her out； ma petite。 You can answer your own question； can you not？〃
〃You're saying I kicked her b
