lh.narcissusinchains-第74部分

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didn't　save　me　just　because　I　was　your　friend；　or　just　because　it　was　the　right　thing　to　do。　You　didn't　risk　yourself　and　your　people　to　save　me　from　torture　because　of　the　kind　of　moral　rightness　that　Richard　is　fond　of。　You　saved　me　because　you　could　not　bear　the　thought　leaving　me　behind。〃　He　touched　my　face；　very　gently。　〃Not　from　a　sense　of　right　and　wrong；　but　because　you　are　just　that　tenderhearted。〃
　I　looked　at　him。　〃I've　been　called　a　lot　of　things；　but　never　that。〃
　He　chucked　me　under　the　chin　like　you　would　a　child。　〃Don't　make　light　of　one　of　your　better　qualities。　You　love　your　people　like　a　mother　is　supposed　to　love　her　children。　You　want　what's　best　for　them；　even　if　that　makes　you　unfortable；　even　if　you　don't　like　their　choices。〃
　I　had　to　look　away　from　the　wonderment　on　his　face；　like　he　was　looking　at　somebody　else　that　couldn't　be　me。　〃You　have　never　been　their　leopard　queen　in　body；　but　you　shamed　us　all　tonight。　It's　not　seeing　your　closeness　to　Micah　that　will　torment　Richard；　though　that　will　burn。　It's　that　you　gave　us　a　glimpse　of　what　we　are　all　striving　for；　for　our　clans。　Richard　believes　his　moral　rightness　will　get　him　where　your　leopards　already　are。〃
　I　looked　up　at　him。　〃My　pard　is　not　a　democracy；　and　I　have　a　hell　of　a　lot　more　than　just　presidential　veto　when　it　es　to　decisions。〃
　〃Richard　knows　that；　better　probably　than　anyone；　and　that　will　gall　him；　Anita。　It　will　make　him　doubt　himself。〃
　I　shook　my　head。　〃Richard　always　doubts　himself　when　it　es　to　the　lukoi。　He'll　never　have　surety　about　them　until　he　has　surety　about　who　and　what　he　is。〃
　〃First　I　have　to　accept　the　fact　that　you're　kindhearted；　now　I　have　to　accept　the　fact　that　you're　insightful　as　well。　I　knew　you　were　powerful；　ruthless；　and　pretty；　but　that　you　have　a　mind　and　a　heart　besides　is　going　to　take　some　getting　used　to。〃
　〃Does　everyone　pretty　much　think　I'm　just　a　sociopath　who　happens　to　have　magical　abilities？〃
　〃It's　all　you　let　people　see；〃　he　said；　〃until　now。〃　He　gazed　out　towards　the　circle　of　faces　still　turned　to　us。　I　saw　a　kind　of　hunger　in　their　faces；　and　I　knew　that　they　had　felt　what　I'd　felt；　a　sense　of　true　belonging；　of　being　home　within　the　circle　　not　of　bricks　or　mortar　　but　of　flesh；　of　hands　to　grasp；　arms　to　hold；　smiles　to　share。　So　simple；　so　rare。
　All　these　months　I'd　been　worried　I'd　fail　the　wereleopards。　I　thought　failure　meant　them　dying；　or　getting　hurt。　What　I　realized　suddenly　was　that　the　true　failure　would　have　been　if　I　hadn't　given　a　damn。　You　can　bandage　a　wound；　set　a　broken　bone；　but　not　caring　。。。　you　can't　cure　that；　and　you　can't　recover　from　it。
　
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　THE　LUPANAR　WAS　a　large　clearing　100　yards　by　150　yards。　The　clearing　appeared　to　be　flat；　but　actually　it　sat　in　a　large　smooth　valley　between　hills。　You　couldn't　notice　it　at　night；　but　I　knew　that　just　beyond　the　trees　that　ringed　the　far　side　of　the　lupanar　were　steep　hills。　It　had　taken　me　more　than　one　visit　to　find　what　lay　beyond　the　trees。
　Now　all　vision　stopped　at　the　far　edge　of　the　clearing。　Torches　that　rose　man…high　were　stuck　into　the　ground　on　either　side　of　the　stone　throne。　The　throne　was　a　huge　chair　carved　of　rock；　so　old　that　there　were　places　on　the　arms　where　countless　generations　of　Ulfrics　had　touched　it　and　worn　away　the　stone。　Probably　the　back　and　seat　of　the　chair　were　worn　as　well；　but　they　were　covered　by　a　spill　of　purple　silk；　suitably　royal。　There　was　something　very　primitive　about　the　huge　stone　chair　and　its　spill　of　cloth　caught　between　the　wavering　golden　light　of　the　torches。　It　looked　like　a　throne　for　some　ancient　barbaric　king；　someone　who　should　wear　animal　skins　and　a　crown　of　iron。
　Werewolves；　most　　but　not　all　　in　human　form；　stood　or　crouched　in　a　huge　circle。　There　was　one　opening　in　the　circle；　which　we　walked　through。　The　werewolves　flowed　behind　us；　like　a　door　of　flesh　closing。　The　wererats　spread　around　behind　us　and　to　either　side；　but　we　all　knew　if　it　came　to　a　fight；　we　were　outmatched；　and　outflanked。
　Rafael　and　two　very　large　wererats　stood　to　one　side　of　me。　Donovan　Reece；　the　swan　king；　was　on　the　other　side。　Rafael　had　kindly　given　him　a　quartet　of　bodyguards。　Micah　stood　just　a　little　behind　me；　and　my　newly　acquired　bodyguards　were　just　behind　him。　Our　leopards　had　spilled　out　in　a　rough　knot　behind　us；　like　a　line　of　defense；　before　the　main　show　of　wererats。
　Someone　had　hung　cloth　in　the　trees　to　one　side　of　the　throne。　Black　cloth；　like　a　curtain；　and　it　took　a　movement　of　the　wind　to　draw　my　attention　to　it。　It　was　held　aside；　and　Sylvie　came　through；　followed　by　a　tall　man　I　didn't　know。　Her　face　was　less　refined　with　no　makeup；　less　soft。　Her　short　hair　curled　neatly；　but　carelessly。　She　was　dressed　in　the　first　pair　of　jeans　I'd　ever　seen　her　in；　with　a　pale　blue　tanktop　and　white　jogging　shoes。
　The　tall　man　was　thin　the　way　basketball　players　are　thin　　all　arms　and　legs　and　lanky　muscle。　Most　of　that　lanky　muscle　showed　because　all　he　wore　was　a　pair　of　cutoff　jean　shorts。　But　he；　like　Richard；　didn't　need　finery。　He　moved　in　a　circle　of　his　own　grace　and　power；　like　a　tiger　stalking　into　view。　Except　there　were　no　bars　to　hide　behind；　and　I'd　had　to　leave　my　gun　at　home。
　He　had　short；　dark　hair　that　curled　a　little　thicker　than　Sylvie's。　His　face　was　one　of　those　that　you　couldn't　decide　was　attractive　or　plain。　It　was　made　up　of　strong　bones；　long　lines；　thin　lips　on　a　wide　mouth。　I'd　just　about　decided　he　was　plain　when　he　looked　at　me；　and　the　moment　I　saw　those　dark　eyes　I　knew　I　was　wrong。　Intelligence　burned　in　there；　intelligence　and　dark　emotion。　He　let　anger　flow　over　his　face；　and　I　realized　the　very　force　of　his　personality　made　him　so　striking　that　he　was　handsome；　though　it　was　the　kind　of　handsome　that　would　never　e　across　in　a　still　photo；　because　it　needed　movement；　his　vibrating　energy　to　make　it　work。
　I　knew　without　being　told　that　this　was　Jacob；　and　I　knew　something　else。　We　were　in　trouble。
　Richard　came　next；　and　he　moved　in　his　own　vibrating　spill　of　power。　He　glided　as　gracefully；　filled　with　as　much　anger　as　Jacob；　but　he　still　lacked　something；　some　edge　that　the　other　man　had。　An　edge　of　darkness；　maybe。　All　I　knew　for　sure　was　that　Jacob　was　ruthless。　I　could　almost　smell　it　on　him。　And　Richard；　for　better；　or　worse；　still　was　not。
　I　sighed。　I'd　thought　if　he　could　just　once　embrace　his　beast　he'd　be　alright。　He　sat　on　the　throne　with　the　firelight　playing　in　the　loose　waves　of　his　hair；　turning　it　to　spun　copper　and　burnished　gold；　the　fire　shadows　playing　on　the　muscles　of　his　chest；　shoulders；　arms。　He　looked　the　part　of　the　barbarian　king；　but　there　was　still　something　in　him；　something　。。。　soft。　And　if　I　could　taste　it；　then　so　could　Jacob。
　I　had　one　of　those　moments　of　clarity　that　es　sometimes。　There　was　nothing　that　any　of　us　could　do　to　Richard　to　make　him　truly　harsh。　He　might　act　in　anger；　like　he'd　taken　Gregory；　but　no　matter　what　the　world　did　to　him；　there　would　still　be　something　in　him　that　flinched。　His　only　hope　for　survival　was　to　surround　himself　with　loyal　people　who　wouldn't　flinch。
　Jamil　and　Shang…Da　stood　together　to　one　side　of　the　throne；　not　too　close；　but　not　too　far　either。　Shang…Da　was　back　in　his　usual　monochrome　black　business　dress：　black　slacks；　black　shirt；　black　suit　jacket；　and　the　polished　black　shoes。　He　always　looked　very　GQ；　even　in　the　woods。
　Jamil　could　dress　up　with　the　best　of　them；　but　he　tried　to　be　appropriate　to　the　situation。　He　had　on　jeans　that　looked　freshly　pressed　and　a　red　muscle　tank　top　that　looked　splendid　against　the　darkness　of　his　skin。　He'd　changed　the　beads　in　his　waist…length　cornrowed　hair　to　red　and　black。　The　beads　gleamed　softly　in　the　torchlight；　as　if　they　might　be　made　of　semiprecious　stones。
　Jamil　caught　my　glance。　He　didn't　exactly　nod；　but　he　acknowledged　me　with　his　eyes。　Shang…Da　avoided　my　gaze；　searching　the　crowd；　but　never　quite　looking　at　me。　I　think　if　Richard　would　have　allowed　it　the　two　of　them　would　have　done　whatever　was　necessary　to　secure　his　throne。　But　they　were　hamstrung　by　Richard；　and　the　best　they　could　do　was　work　within　his　honorable　trap。
　Sylvie　and　I　stared　a