lh.narcissusinchains-第78部分

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than　pouring　into　me　from　outside。　Marianne　still　couldn't　explain　why　it　worked　that　way　for　Raina　and　me。　Some　things　you　just　accept　and　work　around；　because　to　do　anything　else　is　to　butt　your　head　against　a　brick　wall；　the　wall　will　not　break　first。
　Raina　filled　me　like　a　hand　inside　a　glove；　and　I　was　the　glove。　But　I'd　worked　a　long　time　to　be　able　to　control　her。　We'd　worked　out　a　deal　of　sorts。　I　used　her　memories　and　powers；　and　I　let　her　have　some　fun。　The　problem　was　that　Raina　had　been　a　sexually　sadistic　nymphomaniac　when　alive；　and　death　hadn't　changed　her　much。
　I　opened　my　eyes　and　felt　her　smile　curve　my　lips；　felt　my　face　take　on　her　expression。　I　rose　to　my　feet　in　a　graceful　line；　and　even　my　walk　was　different。　Once　I'd　hated　that；　now　I　shrugged　it　off　as　the　price　of　doing　business。
　She　laughed；　full　throated；　the　kind　of　laugh　that　makes　a　man　look　in　a　bar。　Her　laugh　was　deeper　than　mine；　contralto；　a　practiced　seduction　of　sound。
　Richard　went　pale；　hands　gripping　the　arms　of　his　throne。　〃Anita？〃　he　made　it　a　question。
　〃Guess　again；　my　honey　wolf。〃
　He　flinched　at　the　nickname。　In　wolf　form　Richard　is　a　ginger　color；　like　red　honey；　though　I'd　never　really　thought　of　it　like　that　before。　Trust　Raina　to　think　of　something　thick　and　sticky　when　she　looked　at　a　man。
　Her　words　came　out　of　my　mouth。　〃Don't　be　bitchy；　when　you　called　me　for　help。〃
　I　nodded；　and　it　was　my　voice　that　explained　to　Richard's　confused　frown。　〃I　was　thinking　something　less　than　charitable　about　her。　She　didn't　like　it。〃
　Jacob　walked　towards　me　and　stopped　when　I　looked　at　him　with　Raina's　expression。　〃You　can't　have　called　munin。　You're　not　lukoi。〃
　Strange；　but　it　hadn't　even　occurred　to　me　that　being　a　leopard　might　mean　I　couldn't　call　munin。　It　might　explain　why　the　other　munin　hadn't　e　when　I　called。　〃You　said　my　necromancy　wouldn't　help　me；　Jacob；　can't　have　it　both　ways。　Either　I'm　lukoi　enough　to　call　the　munin；　or　I'm　necromancer　enough　to　help　myself。〃
　We　　Raina　and　me　　stalked　towards　the　tall；　shirtless　man。　Raina　liked　him。　Raina　liked　most　men。　Especially　if　the　man　was　someone　she'd　never　had　sex　with；　and　among　the　pack　that　had　been　a　short　list。　But　Jacob　and　more　than　twenty　others　were　new。　She　looked　out　over　the　pack　and　picked　out　the　new　faces。　She　hesitated　over　Paris　and　didn't　like　her　either。　You　can't　have　too　many　alpha　bitches　in　one　pack　without　them　fighting　amongst　themselves。
　I　felt　something　I　hadn't　felt　before　from　Raina　　caution。　She　didn't　like　how　many　new　people　Richard　had　allowed　into　the　pack　in　such　a　short　space　of　time。　It　worried　her。　I　realized　for　the　first　time　that　it　hadn't　just　been　love　that　made　Marcus　put　up　with　her　as　lupa。　She　was　powerful；　but　more　than　that；　in　her　own　twisted　way　she　did　care　about　the　pack；　and　she　and　I　were　in　perfect　agreement　on　one　thing：　Richard　had　been　careless　with　it。　But　we　both　felt　we　could　fix　it。　It　was　almost　scary　that　the　wicked　bitch　of　the　west　and　I　were　in　such　perfect　agreement。　Either　I　had　been　corrupted；　or　Raina　had　never　been　quite　as　corrupt　as　I　thought。　I　wasn't　sure　which　idea　bothered　me　more。
　Of　course；　she　thought　we　should　seduce　Richard　into　letting　us　kill　a　few　select　people；　and　I　was　still　hoping　that　a　slightly　less　sweet　reason　would　prevail。　Raina　thought　I　was　a　fool；　and　I　wasn't　sure　I　didn't　agree　with　her。　Scarier　and　scarier。
　〃Anita。〃　Richard　said　my　name　again；　hesitant；　as　if　he　wasn't　sure　I　was　in　there。
　I　turned；　one　hand　ing　up　to　my　hair；　flinging　it　back　from　my　face。　It　was　Raina's　gesture；　and　I　watched　that　one　movement　make　not　only　Richard；　but　Sylvie　and　Jamil　behind　her；　nervous。　No；　frightened。
　I　could　smell　their　fear。　Raina's　laugh　bubbled　out　of　my　mouth；　because　she　liked　it。　I　didn't。　I　never　liked　it　when　my　friends　were　afraid　of　me。　My　enemies；　fine；　but　not　my　friends。
　〃I'm　here；　Richard；　I'm　here。〃
　He　stared　at　me。　〃The　last　time　I　saw　you　call　Raina's　munin　you　weren't　able　to　think　like　yourself　with　her　inside　you。〃
　〃I　really　didn't　leave　you　for　all　these　months　just　because　I　was　afraid　of　how　close　we　all　were。　I　left　to　get　my　shit　together；　and　part　of　that　was　learning　how　to　control　the　munin。〃
　Raina　said；　〃Control　me？　You　wish。〃　She　hadn't　said　it　aloud；　only　in　my　head。　It　had　taken　me　a　long　time　to　realize　that　some　things　were　said　out　loud　and　some　things　weren't。　It　was　confusing；　but　you　got　used　to　it。
　I　said　aloud　what　I'd　seen　in　vision。　〃I　saw　Gregory　in　a　hole；　naked；　tied　up；　lying　on　a　bed　of　bones。　Where　is　it？〃
　Raina　showed　me　in　images。　It　was　like　a　fast…forward　picture　show；　but　the　images　came　with　emotions；　smashing　into　me；　one　after　the　other。　I　saw　a　metal　cap　that　screwed　down　with　a　tiny　airway　on　top　that　let　in　enough　light　for　you　to　see；　if　the　sun　was　high　enough。　There　was　a　rope　ladder　that　spilled　down　into　the　dark　and　was　taken　up　when　it　wasn't　needed。　I　was　Raina　kneeling　on　a　bed　of　bones；　a　human　skull　next　to　my　knee。　I　had　a　syringe　and　injected　its　contents　into　a　dark…haired　man　that　was　chained　like　I'd　seen　Gregory　chained；　ankles　to　wrists。　He　was　gagged　and　blindfolded。　When　the　needle　went　in；　he　whimpered　and　started　to　cry。　The　drugs　were　to　keep　him　from　changing。
　I　turned　him　over　on　his　side　and　saw　that　a　bone　fragment　had　cut　into　his　naked　groin。　I　bent　towards　the　smell　of　fresh　blood；　fresh　meat；　and　the　absolutely　intoxicating　stink　of　fear　that　came　off　the　man。　Not　man；　lukoi。　I　clawed　my　way　up　from　my　memory　before　Raina　pressed　our　lips　over　him。　I　shoved　it　away　from　me；　but　I　could　still　smell　the　fear；　the　drugs　sweated　out　on　his　skin；　the　smell　of　soap　from　where　Raina　had　cleaned　him　up；　daily；　before　the　abuse　began。　I　knew　his　name　had　been　Todd；　and　he'd　talked　to　a　reporter　about　the　lukoi；　helped　them　set　up　a　blind　with　a　camera　on　a　full　moon；　for　money。　Maybe　he　had　deserved　to　die；　but　not　like　that。　No　one　deserved　to　die　like　that。
　I　came　to　myself　lying　on　the　ground　in　front　of　the　throne；　tears　drying　on　my　face。　Jamil　and　Shang…Da　were　standing　between　me　and　the　crowd　that　had　moved　to　help　me。　Claudia　and　Igor　were　facing　off　with　them；　and　Rafael　had　Micah　by　the　arm；　trying　to　convince　him　not　to　fight　his　way　to　me。　Merle　and　Noah　were　moving　up　to　join　Claudia　and　Igor。　This　was　all　about　to　go　to　hell。
　I　propped　myself　up　on　my　arms；　and　that　small　movement　froze　everyone　in　place。　My　voice　came　out　hoarse；　but　mine。　〃I'm　okay。　I'm　okay。〃
　I'm　not　sure　they　believed　me；　but　the　tension　level　started　to　drop　almost　immediately。　Good；　I　had　enough　problems　tonight　without　a　free…for…all　breaking　out。
　I　looked　up　at　Richard；　and　all　I　could　feel　was　anger。　〃Is　that　how　you're　going　to　kill　Gregory；　just　leave　him　down　in　the　oubliette　until　he　rots？〃　My　voice　came　out　soft；　because　if　I　lost　control　of　it；　I　wasn't　sure　how　much　other　control　I'd　lose。　I　knew　Raina。　She　wasn't　gone。　She'd　want　her　〃reward〃　first。　She'd　done　her　job。　I　knew　where　Gregory　was。　I　even　knew　how　to　get　there。　She'd　earned　her　prize。　I　didn't　dare　lose　control　of　myself　with　her　waiting　like　a　shark　just　under　the　water。
　〃I　told　them　to　put　Gregory　some　place　far　away　from　me。　I　didn't　tell　them　to　put　him　there。〃
　I　got　to　my　feet　slowly；　even　my　body　movements　controlled；　muscles　almost　stiff　with　adrenaline　and　the　need　to　lash　out。　〃But　you　left　him　there。　Who's　been　going　down　and　pumping　him　full　of　drugs　to　keep　him　from　turning？　You　don't　have　Raina　to　do　the　dirty　work　anymore。　Who　was　it？　WHO　WAS　IT！〃　I　screamed　it　into　his　face；　and　the　rage　was　all　she　needed。　She　poured　over　me；　and　the　last　control　I　might　have　had　drowned　because　I　wanted　to　hurt　Richard。　I　wanted　to　do　it。
　I　hit　him；　closed…fist；　turning　my　body　into　it；　twisting　my　hand　at　the　end；　putting　all　I　had　into　it。　I　did　what　they　taught　us　to　do　in　martial　arts　class　if　it　was　for　real。　I　aimed　not　at　Richard's　face；　but　at　a　point　two　inches　inside　his　face；　that　was　the　real　goal。
　I　was　back　in　a　protective　stance　before　Jamil　and　Shang…Da　had　time　to　react。　I　felt　them　move　towards　me　and　felt　others　move　forward；　too。　The　very　thing　I'd　b