lh.narcissusinchains-第87部分

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　〃What？〃　I　asked。
　She　just　shook　her　head。　〃None　of　my　business。〃
　〃That's　right；〃　I　said。
　〃But　if　it　were　。。。　〃
　〃But　it's　not；〃　I　said。
　She　smiled。　〃But　if　it　were；　I'd　say　two　things。〃
　〃You're　going　to　say　them　anyway；　aren't　you？〃
　〃Yes；〃　she　said。
　I　waved　her　to　go　ahead。
　〃First；　it's　nice　to　see　you　letting　yourself　follow　your　heart　with　someone　new。　Second；　you　don't　know　this　man　very　well。　Be　careful　who　you　give　your　heart　to；　Anita。〃
　〃I　haven't　given　anyone　my　heart；　yet。〃
　〃Not　yet；〃　she　said。
　I　frowned　at　her。　〃You　do　realize　that　you've　told　me　to　follow　my　heart　and　not　to　follow　my　heart。〃
　She　nodded。
　〃Those　are　contradictory　bits　of　advice；〃　I　said。
　〃I'm　aware　of　that。〃
　〃Then　which　piece　of　advice　do　you　want　me　to　follow？〃
　〃Both；　of　course。〃
　I　shook　my　head。　〃Let's　go　save　Gregory　and　worry　about　my　ever…sordid　love　life　later。〃
　〃I　can't　promise　that　we'll　save　Gregory；　Anita。〃
　I　held　up　a　hand。　〃I　remember　the　odds；　doc。〃　I　followed　her　out　and　into　the　darkened　living　room　and　tried　to　believe；　really　believe；　in　miracles。
　
　29
　
　WE　DECIDED　TO　do　it　on　the　deck　out　back。　My　deck　backed　to　a　couple　of　acres　of　mature　woodland。　No　neighbors。　No　one　to　see　us。　The　deck　was　also　twice　the　size　of　the　kitchen；　which　was　the　only　part　of　the　house　without　carpeting。　Once　a　shapeshifter　changed　on　a　carpet　it　was　either　steam　clean　it　yourself；　or　hire　it　done。　I　was　not　the　one　who　suggested　that　Gregory　would　ruin　the　carpet；　it　was　actually　Nathaniel。　He　was；　after　all；　the　person　most　likely　to　be　vacuuming　between　housekeeper　visits。　I　wasn't　even　sure　I　knew　where　the　vacuum　was。
　Gregory　was　curled　in　the　center　of　the　deck；　his　head　in　his　brother's　lap；　his　arms　wrapped　around　the　other　man's　naked　waist。　Only　the　curling　yellow　hair；　paled　by　moonlight；　covered　Stephen's　upper　body。　He'd　stripped　to　the　waist　in　preparation　for　the　change。　He　was　going　to　go　out　into　the　woods　with　his　brother。　This　presupposed　that　Gregory　would　survive　the　change。　We　had　a　fifty…fifty　chance；　not　bad　odds；　if　all　you　were　about　to　lose　was　money；　but　when　it　was　someone's　life；　fifty…fifty　just　didn't　sound　that　good。
　Stephen　looked　up　at　me。　His　cornflower　blue　eyes　were　silvered　with　moonlight。　He　looked　pale　and　ethereal。　His　face　was　raw　with　emotion；　his　eyes　held　an　intelligence　and　a　demand　that　Stephen　didn't　often　show。　He　was　submissive；　fragile　in　every　walk　of　his　life；　but　in　that　moment　he　laid　a　demand　on　me　with　his　eyes；　his　face；　the　pain　that　showed　in　the　set　of　his　shoulders；　the　fierce　way　he　touched　his　brother；　who　was　still　huddled　in　his　lap；　just　a　fall　of　long　pale　curls　and　paler　skin。　Gregory　was　naked　in　the　hot　summer　night；　and　until　that　moment　I　hadn't　noticed。　The　nudity　didn't　make　me　think　of　sex；　it　made　me　think　how　terribly　vulnerable　he　was。
　Stephen　looked　up　at　me　and　asked　with　every　line　of　his　body；　the　desperation　in　his　eyes；　what　he　was　too　submissive　to　say　out　loud。　I　didn't　need　to　be　telepathic　to　know　what　he　wanted。　Save　him；　save　my　brother；　he　screamed　at　me　from　his　eyes。　To　say　it　out　loud　would　have　been　redundant。
　Vivian；　who　was　as　fragile　as　Stephen；　as　submissive；　said　it　out　loud　anyway。　〃Please；　try　and　call　his　beast；　at　least　try　before　they　use　the　drugs。〃
　I　looked　at　her；　and　there　must　have　been　something　in　my　face　that　frightened　her；　because　she　dropped　to　her　knees　and　crawled　towards　me。　It　wasn't　that　graceful　stalk　that　the　leopards　could　do。　It　was　like　a　human　crawling；　awkward；　slow；　head　down；　eyes　rolled　up。　She　was　displaying　the　leopard　version　of　submissive　behavior；　and　I　hated　it。　Hated　her　feeling　the　need；　like　I　was　some　ogre　that　needed　placating；　but　I　let　her　do　it。　Richard　had　shown　me　what　happened　in　a　were…group　when　the　dominant　refused　to　be　dominant。
　She　leaned　against　my　legs；　pushing　her　body　against　me；　head　down。　Normally；　leopards　would　roll　around　my　legs　like　huge　cats；　but　tonight　Vivian　just　pressed　against　my　legs　more　like　a　frightened　dog　than　a　luxuriating　cat。　I　leaned　over　to　touch　her　hair　and　heard　her　murmuring　under　her　breath；　so　soft；　〃Please；　please；　please。〃　You　would　have　had　to　be　colder　than　even　I　was　to　ignore　that　soft　pleading。
　〃It's　okay；　Vivian；　I'll　try。〃
　Rubbing　her　cheek　along　my　jeans　as　she　raised　her　head；　her　eyes　rolled　up　to　me；　again　like　a　frightened　dog。　Vivian　had　always　been　timid　around　me；　but　I'd　never　seen　this　level　of　fear　before。　I　didn't　think　it　was　Gregory's　torture　that　had　made　the　difference。　I　think　it　was　the　fact　that　I'd　shot　Elizabeth　full　of　holes。　Yeah；　that　probably　did　it。　And　I　couldn't　undermine　the　lesson　by　reassuring　Vivian　now　that　I　wouldn't　shoot　her。　Merle　and　Caleb　were　listening；　and　if　we　were　really　going　to　bine　our　pards；　being　feared　was　not　a　bad　way　for　me　to　start。
　I　looked　across　the　deck　and　found　Merle　watching　me。　He　was　still　fully　dressed；　jeans；　boots；　jean　jacket　over　bare　chest；　the　scar　showing　like　a　flash　of　moonlit　lightning　across　his　stomach。　We　stared　at　each　other；　and　the　force　in　his　gaze；　the　physical　potential　that　shimmered　around　him；　made　the　hair　on　the　back　of　my　neck　crawl。　I'd　spent　years　around　dangerous　men；　and　dangerous　monsters；　Merle　was　both。　If　I　could　make　him　truly　afraid　of　me；　that　would　be　a　good　thing。
　Caleb　on　the　other　hand　had　started　stripping　off　his　clothes　when　everyone　else　did；　and　only　my　protest；　backed　by　Merle；　had　kept　his　pants　on。　He　walked　barefoot；　moonlight　catching　in　the　rings　in　his　nipple　and　the　edge　of　his　belly　button。　He　had　to　look　directly　at　me　for　the　ring　in　his　eyebrow　to　spark。　He　was　circling　Cherry；　who　had　never　dressed　after　helping　Gregory　in　his　bath。　She　stood　tall　and　fortably　nude；　ignoring　him。
　The　fact　that　he　was　paying　attention　to　her　nudity　was　a　breach　of　protocol　among　the　shapeshifters。　You　only　noticed　nudity　if　you'd　been　invited　to　have　sex。　Short　of　that；　you　pretended　everyone　was　as　neuter　as　a　Barbie　doll。
　Zane　stepped　between　Cherry　and　the　circling　Caleb；　giving　a　low　growl。　Caleb　laughed　and　backed　off。　I　did　not　need　another　pain　in　the　ass　in　my　pard；　and　that's　what　Caleb　was。
　Dr。　Lillian　was　standing　behind　us　holding　a　huge　needle　all　ready　to　go。　The　two　wererat　bodyguards；　Claudia　and　Igor；　were　behind　her。　They'd　surprised　me　by　putting　on　guns　in　the　car　on　the　way　over。　Guns　weren't　allowed　in　the　lupanar；　but　they　were　bodyguards；　and　guns　were　a　good　thing　for　bodyguards。　Claudia　had　a　10　millimeter　Beretta　tucked　behind　her　back。　The　fact　that　she　could　carry　a　10　mil　anything　said　how　much　larger　her　hands　were　than　mine。　Igor　had　a　shoulder　rig　with　a　Glock　9　mil。　They　were　both　good　guns；　and　the　two　wererats　handled　them　like　they　knew　what　they　were　doing。　Rafael　had　insisted　that　they　stay　just　in　case　Jacob；　or　his　allies；　got　some　wild　idea　about　a　preemptive　strike。
　Claudia　and　Igor　stood　in　typical　bodyguard　pose；　hands　clasped　in　front　of　them；　one　hand　holding　the　opposite　wrist。　It's　usually　a　guy　thing　to　stand　like　that；　or　a　jock　thing；　but　bodyguards　do　it　too。　It's　like　they　hold　their　own　hands　for　reassurance。
　Their　faces　were　neutral。　They　were　here　to　protect　me；　not　Gregory。　Didn't　matter　to　them；　or　didn't　seem　to。
　Nathaniel　leaned　against　the　railing；　wearing　a　pair　of　shorts；　his　hair　hanging　like　a　dark　curtain　around　his　body；　still　wet　from　the　bath。　It　took　forever　for　his　hair　to　dry　naturally。　His　face　was　serene。　It　reflected　an　almost　zen…like　pleasantness；　as　if　he　trusted　me　to　make　everything　alright。　Of　all　their　faces；　his　was　the　most　unnerving。　I　was　used　to　people　being　afraid　of　me；　eventually；　but　soft　adoration　　that　I　was　not　used　to。
　I　looked　back　down　at　Vivian；　still　pressed　against　my　legs。　There　was　fear　in　her　eyes；　but　there　was　also　hope。
　I　touched　her　face　and　managed　a　smile。　〃I'll　do　what　I　can。〃
　She　smiled；　and　it　was　radiant。　She　was　always　beautiful；　but　when　she　smiled　like　that　there　was　a　little　girl　peeking　out；　someone　more　joyous　and　more　free　than　the　Vivian　I　knew。　I　valued　that　little　girl　smile　from　her；　because　I　saw　it　so　rarely。
　I