lh.narcissusinchains-第94部分
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bathroom getting stitched up。 Nathaniel was with the other leopards。 I'd given strict orders that he was not to be left alone。 I just wasn't up to Richard and him actually having a fight。 It would be too 。。。 ridiculous； or pathetic。
〃And what does that mean； that you told the truth； no more； no less？〃
〃You will not like it。〃
〃I don't like it now； just tell me； Jean…Claude。〃
〃I told him what had happened with the ardeur； and added my own belief the reason you so often find Nathaniel around when sex is in the air is that you find him sexually attractive。〃
〃That did not make Richard e over here and start a fight。〃
〃I do remember adding that you might find a less…demanding male refreshing after the two of us。 Someone who did not make so many demands on you； someone who merely accepted you as you are。〃
〃You do that；〃 I said。
〃So good of you to notice；〃 he said。 〃But it is not I that has been living in your home for months； and from what I smell on Nathaniel when he es into work； sharing your bed。〃
〃Any of the wereleopards are wele in the bedroom when they stay here。 It's like a big pile of puppies it's not sexual。〃
〃If you say so。〃 His voice was soft； mocking。
〃Damn you； Jean…Claude； you know I don't see Nathaniel that way。〃
He sighed； and it was heavy。 〃I think it is not me that you lie to； ma petite but yourself。〃
〃I am not in love with Nathaniel。〃
〃Did I ever say you were？〃
〃Then what are you talking about？〃
He made a small exasperated sound。 〃Ma petite； you still believe that you must love every man that you e to physically。 It is not so。 You can have very pleasant； even wondrous sex with a friend。 It does not have to be love。〃
I was shaking my head； realized he couldn't see it； and said； 〃I don't do casual sex； Jean…Claude； you know that。〃
〃Whatever you are doing with Nathaniel； ma petite； it is not casual。〃
〃I can't use him as my pomme de sang。 I can't。〃
〃Your morals have reared their ugly heads； ma petite； do not let them make you foolish。〃
I opened my mouth to protest everything he'd said； but closed it and just thought about what he'd said for a few seconds。 Did I find Nathaniel attractive？ Well； yeah。 But I found a lot of men attractive。 That didn't mean I had to be intimate with them。
〃Ma petite； I can hear you breathing。 What are you thinking？〃
What he said made me think a new thought。 〃When we first married the marks I could almost read your mind； unless you concentrated to keep me out。 Now it's not like that。 Maybe the ardeur will be temporary； too。〃
〃Perhaps； we can but hope。〃
〃If I have the ardeur； I'll have to have sex。 Isn't that what you wanted？〃
〃I would be a fool to deny that your enforced chastity is burdensome； but I would never willingly inflict the ardeur on anyone。 It is a 。。。 curse； ma petite。 The blood lust that I feel can be sated。 My body can only hold so much。 But the ardeur； oh； ma petite； it is never truly satisfied。 There is always that ache； that need。 How could I wish that upon you？ Though if our Monsieur Zeeman would cooperate； it might be the answer for the two of you to finally reach some permanent arrangement。〃
〃What； move in together？〃
〃Perhaps。〃 His voice was very careful when he said that one word。
〃Richard and I can't be in a room for an hour without arguing； unless we are having sex。 Somehow I don't think that makes for domestic bliss。〃
I felt the first emotion he'd let me feel over the phone relief。 He was relieved。 〃I want what is best for all of us； ma petite； but as things grow more plex； I am no longer certain what 'best' would be。〃
〃Don't tell me your machinations didn't include some backup plan to cover every eventuality。 You are the ultimate plotter； don't tell me you missed a trick。〃
〃I watched Belle Morte fill your eyes with her fire。 You are acquiring powers as if you were a Master Vampire； or a Master Lycanthrope。 How could I have planned for any of this？〃
There was a cold knot of fear in the center of my gut。 〃So you finally admit that you don't know what the hell is going on either。〃
〃Oui； does that please you？〃 I heard the first stirrings of anger in his voice。 〃Are you happy now； ma petite？ I am well and truly out of my depth。 No one has ever tried to forge an alliance such as we have； an alliance not of master and two slaves； but of three equals。 I do not think you appreciate how gentle I am when it es to hoarding my power。 The wolves are my animal to call。 Many masters would have forced them to simply be an adjunct to their own vampires。〃
〃Nikolaos's animal to call was rats； not wolves；〃 I said。 〃By the time you took over as Master of the City； Marcus and Raina's pack was too strong for you to make them an adjunct to your power。 Hell； until you replenished the vamps that I killed； they were probably more powerful than you and your vampires。〃
〃Are you implying that the only reason I am not a tyrant is because I didn't have the strength of arms to make it so？〃
I thought about that for a second； then said； 〃I'm not implying it； I'm saying it。〃
〃You think so little of me？〃
〃I know what you were like two； almost three years ago； and I think then you would have consolidated your power base with very little regard for anyone that got in your way。〃
〃Are you saying I am ruthless？〃
〃Practical；〃 I said。
It was his turn to be quiet for a second or two； then； 〃Practical； yes； I am that； as are you； ma petite。〃
〃I know what I am； Jean…Claude； it's you I'm not sure of。〃
〃I would never willingly hurt you； ma petite。〃
〃I believe you；〃 I said。
〃I am not sure the same can be said of you；〃 he said； quietly。
〃I don't want to hurt either of you。 But Richard cannot harm my leopards； and if you do anything stupid； don't blame me for what happens next。〃
〃I would never underestimate your level of 。。。 practicality； ma petite； though I think Richard might。〃
〃He told me I wouldn't kill him just for roughing up Nathaniel。〃
〃How rough was Richard to little Nathaniel？〃
〃Don't talk about him like he's a child； Jean…Claude； and rough enough that I cut Richard's arm open。〃
〃How badly？〃
〃The doc's stitching him up； even as we speak。〃
〃Oh； dear；〃 he said； and sighed； and this time the sound eased down my skin。 I realized that he'd been behaving himself until now； at least about using his voice。
〃No more games； Jean…Claude。 I want to put Richard on the phone； and you tell him you did this on purpose。〃
〃But I cannot tell him that I lied about Nathaniel； now can I？〃
〃You fix this； Jean…Claude； now； tonight。 I need Richard to teach me how to call Gregory's beast。 I don't have time for him to sulk。〃
〃What am I to tell him； ma petite？ What surety can I give him that you will not be in Nathaniel's arms tomorrow morning？ I believe that I can maneuver Richard into staying the night； having him there at your side when the ardeur rises。〃
〃Richard's already made his position clear； Jean…Claude。 He doesn't let you； or Asher； or anyone； feed off of him。 He doesn't see why the rules change just because it's me and sex； instead of blood。〃
〃He said that？〃 Jean…Claude gave a questioning lilt to his voice。
〃Yeah； he said that； almost word…for…word。〃
Jean…Claude sighed； and it sounded tired。 〃What am I to do with the two of you？〃
〃Don't ask me；〃 I said； 〃I just work here。〃
〃And what； exactly； does that mean； ma petite？〃
〃It means that we don't have a boss。 It's great being equals； if that's what we are； but none of us knows what the hell is going on； and that isn't good； Jean…Claude。 We are messing with some very serious stuff here； metaphysically and emotionally and just plain physically。 We need some clue as to what we should be doing with all of it。〃
〃And who should we be asking advice of； ma petite？ If any vampire on the Council were to suspect that I have not given you both the fourth mark； they would destroy us； for fear that with the fourth mark we would bee an even greater power。〃
〃I've talked to Marianne and her friends。 They're witches； Wiccan。〃
〃So we find； what； a local coven； and ask their guidance？〃 He sounded patronizing。
〃I resent the tone； Jean…Claude； especially since I don't hear you offering any better sugge
