dk.intensity-第50部分

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　to　drive　someone　insane；　truly　and　irrevocably　insane。　Ariel　is　my　seventh　captive；　and　the　others　all　held　on　to　their　sanity　for　weeks。　One　of　them　cracked　on　the　eighteenth　day；　but　three　of　them　lasted　a　full　two　months。〃
　Chyna　gave　up　on　the　elusive　Wild　Wood　and　met　his　gaze　across　the　table。
　…　L　@yk_11kJ1tJg1Ca1　Wl　LUI…C　is　so　iiiucn　more　interesting　ancient　climcult　to　undertake　than　the　physical　variety；　although　the　latter　can　be　undeniably　thrilling；〃　Vess　said。　〃The　mind　is　so　much　tougher　than　the　body；　a　greater　challenge　by　far。　And　when　the　mind　goes；　I　swear　that　I　can　hear　the　crack；　a　harder　sound　than　bone　splitting…and　oh；　how　it　reverberates。〃
　She　tried　to　see　the　animal　consciousness　in　his　eyes；　which　she　had　glimpsed　unexpectedly　before。　She　needed　to　see　it。　
　〃When　they　crack；　some　of　them　writhe　on　the　floor；　thrash；　rend　their　clothes。　They　tear　at　their　hair；　Chyna；　and　claw　their　faces；　and　some　of　them　bite　themselves　hard　enough　to　draw　blood。　They　maim　themselves　in　so　many　inventive　ways。　They　sob　and　sob；　can't　stop　for　hours；　sometimes　for　days；　sobbing　in　their　sleep。　They　bark　like　dogs；　Chyna；　and　screech　and　flail　their　arms　as　if　they're　convinced　that　they　can　fly。　They　hallucinate　and　see　things　more　frightening　than　I　am　to　them。　Some　speak　in　tongues。　It's　called　glossolalia。　Do　you　know　the　condition？　Quite　fascinating。　Convincingly　like　a　language　yet　meaningless；　a　ranting　or　pleading　babble。　Some　lose　control　of　their　bodily　functions　and　wallow　in　their　filth。　Messy　but　riveting　to　watch…the　true　base　condition　of　humanity；　to　which　most　people　can　only　admit　in　madness。〃
　As　hard　as　she　tried；　Chyna　could　see　no　beast　in　his　eyes；　only　a　placid　blueness　and　the　watchful　darkness　of　the　pupil；　and　she　was　no　longer　sure　that　she　had　ever　seen　it。　He　wasn't　half　man　and　half　wolf；　not　a　creature　that　fell　to　all　fours　in　the　light　of　the　full　moon。　Worse；　he　was　nothing　but　a　man…living　at　one　extreme　end　of　the　spectrum　of　human　cruelty；　but　nonetheless　only　a　man。
　〃Some　take　refuge　in　catatonic　silences；〃　Vess　continued；　〃as　Ariel　has　done。　But　I　always　break　them　out　of　that。　Ariel　is　by　far　the　most　stubborn；　but　that　only　makes　her　interesting。　I'll　break　her　too；　and　when　her　crack　es；　Chyna；　it'll　be　like　no　other。　Glorious。　Intense。〃
　〃The　most　intense　experience　of　all　is　showing　mercy；〃　Chyna　said；　and　had　no　idea　whatsoever　where　she　had　found　those　words。　They　sounded　like　a　plea；　and　she　didn't　want　him　to　think　that　she　was　begging　for　her　life。　Even　in　her　despair；　she　would　not　be　reduced　to　groveling。
　A　sudden　smile　made　Vess　look　almost　like　a　boy；　one　given　to　puns　and　pranks；　collector　of　baseball　cards；　rider　of　bikes；　builder　of　model　airplanes；　and　altar　boy　on　Sundays。　She　thought　that　he　was　smiling　at　what　she'd　said；　amused　by　her　naivet6；　but　this　was　not　the　case；　as　he　made　clear　with　his　next　words。　〃Maybe　。。。　what　I　want　from　you；〃　Vess　said；　〃is　to　be　with　me　when　I　finally　make　Ariel　snap。　Instead　of　killing　you　in　front　of　her　to　drive　her　over　the　edge；　I'll　drive　her　some　other　way。　And　you　can　watch。〃
　Oh；　God。　〃You're　a　psychology　student；　after　all；　almost　a　genuine　master　of　psychology。　Right？　Sitting　there　in　such　stern　judgment　of　me；　so　certain　that　my　mind　is　'aberrant'　and　that　you　know　exactly　how　I　think。　Well；　then；　how　interesting　it　would　be　to　see　if　any　of　the　modem　theories　of　the　working　of　the　mind　are　undone　by　this　little　experiment。　Don't　you　think　so？　After　I　break　Ariel；　you　could　write　a　paper　about　it；　Chyna；　for　my　eyes　only。　I'd　enjoy　reading　your　considered　observations。〃
　Dear　God；　it　would　never　e　to　that。　She'd　never　be　a　witness　to　such　a　thing。　Though　in　shackles；　she　would　find　a　way　to　mit　suicide　before　she　would　let　him　take　her　down　to　that　room　to　watch　that　lovely　girl　。。。　to　watch　her　dissolve。　Chyna　would　bite　open　her　own　wrists；　swallow　her　tongue；　contrive　to　fall　down　the　steps　and　break　her　neck；　something。　Something。
　Evidently　aware　that　he　had　jolted　her　out　of　gray　despair　into　stark　horror；　Vess　smiled　again…and　then　turned　his　attention　to　her　breakfast　plate。　〃Do　you　intend　to　eat　the　rest　of　that？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃Then　I'll　have　it。〃
　He　slid　his　empty　plate　aside　and　pulled　hers　in　front　of　him。　Using　her　fork；　he　cut　a　bite…size　piece　of　the　cold　omelet；　put　it　in　his；　mouth；　and　moaned　softly　in　delight。　Slowly；　sensuously；　Vess　extracted　the　tines　from　his　mouth；　pressing　his　lips　firmly　around　them　as　they　slid　loose；　then　reaching　with　his　tongue　for　one　last　lick。
　After　he　swallowed　the　bite　of　eggs；　he　said；　〃I　could　taste　you　on　the　fork。　Your　saliva　has　a　lovely　flavor…except　for　a　faint　bitterness。　No　doubt　that's　not　a　usual　ponent；　just　the　result　of　a　sour　stomach。〃
　She　could　find　no　escape　by　closing　her　eyes；　so　she　watched　as　he　devoured　the　remains　of　her　breakfast。
　When　he　finished；　she　had　a　question　of　her　own。　〃Last　night　。。。　why　did　you　eat　the　spider？〃
　〃Why　not？〃
　〃That's　no　answer。〃
　〃It's　the　best　answer　to　any　question。〃
　〃Then　give　me　second…best。〃
　〃You　think　it　was　disgusting？〃
　〃I'm　just　curious。〃
　〃No　doubt；　you　see　it　as　a　negative　experience…eating　an　icky；　squirmy　spider。〃
　〃No　doubt。〃
　〃But　there　are　no　negative　experiences；　Chyna。　Only　sensations。　No　values　can　be　attached　to　pure　sensation。〃
　〃Of　course　they　can。〃
　〃If　you　think　so；　then　you're　in　the　wrong　century。　Anyway；　the　spider　had　an　interesting　flavor；　and　now　I　understand　spiders　better　for　having　absorbed　one。　Do　you　know　about　flatworm　leaming？〃
　〃Flatworm？〃
　〃You　should　have　encountered　it　in　a　basic　biology　course　along　the　way　to　being　such　a　highly　educated　woman。　You　see；　certain　flatworms　can　gradually　learn　to　negotiate　a　maze…〃
　She　did　remember；　and　interrupted：　〃Then　if　you　grind　them　up　and　feed　them　to　another　batch　of　flatworms；　batch　number　two　can　run　the　same　maze　on　the　first　try。〃
　〃Good。　Yes。〃　Vess　nodded　happily。　〃They　absorb　the　knowledge　with　the　flesh。〃
　She　didn't　need　to　consider　how　to　phrase　her　next　question；　for　Vess　could　be　neither　insulted　nor　flattered。　〃Jesus；　you　don't　actually　believe　you　now　know　what　it's　like　to　be　a　spider；　have　all　the　knowledge　of　a　spider；　because　you've　eaten　one？〃
　〃Of　course　not；　Chyna。　If　I　were　that　literal…minded；　I'd　be　crazy。　Wouldn't　I？　In　an　institution　somewhere；　talking　to　a　crowd　of　imaginary　friends。　But　because　of　my　sharp　senses；　I　did　absorb　from　the　spider　an　ineffable　quality　of　spiderness　that　you'll　never　be　able　to　understand。　I　heightened　my　awareness　of　the　spider　as　a　marvelously　engineered　little　hunter；　a　creature　of　power。　Spider　is　a　power　word；　you　know；　though　it　can't　be　formed　from　the　letters　of　my　name。〃　He　hesitated；　pondering；　and　then　continued：　〃It　can　be　formed　from　the　letters　of　your　name。〃
　She　didn't　bother　to　remind　him　about　her　mother's　precious　spelling。　Only　spyder　could　be　found　in　Chyna　Shepherd。
　〃And　it　was　risky；　eating　a　spider；　which　added　considerably　to　the　appeal；〃　Vess　continued。　〃Unless　you're　an　entomologist；　you　can't　be　sure　if　any　particular　specimen　is　poisonous　or　not。　Some；　like　the　brown　recluse；　are　extremely　dangerous。　A　bite　on　the　hand　is　one　thing　。。。　but　I　had　to　be　sure　that　I　was　quick　and　crushed　it　against　the　roof　of　my　mouth　before　it　could　bite　my　tongue。〃
　〃You　like　taking　risks。〃
　He　shrugged。　〃I'm　just　that　kind　of　guy。〃
　〃On　edge。〃
　〃Words　in　my　name；〃　he　acknowledged。　〃And　if　you'd　been　bitten　on　the　tongue？〃
　〃Pain　is　the　same　as　pleasure；　just　different。　Learn　to　enjoy　it；　and　YOU　're　happier　with　life。〃
　〃Even　pain　is　value　neutral？〃
　〃Sure。　Just　sensation。　It　helps　grow　the　reef　of　the　soul…if　there　is　a　soul。〃
　She　didn't　know　what　the　hell　he　was　talking　about…the　reef　of　the　soul…and　she　didn't　ask。　She　was　weary　of　him。　Weary　of　fearing　him；　even　weary　of　hating　him。　With　her　questions；　she　was　striving　to　understand；　as　she　had　striven　all　her　life；　and　she　was　tired　to　death　of　this　search　for　meaning。　She　would　never　know　why　some　people　mitted　countless　little　cruelties…or　bigger　ones…and　the　struggle　to　understand　had　only　exhausted　her　and　left　her