dk.intensity-第54部分

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　He　took　off　his　shoes　and　carried　them　into　the　laundry　room；　where　he　left　them　to　be　cleaned　later。
　He　returned　in　his　bare　feet　and；　using　paper　towels　and　a　bottle　of　Windex；　cleaned　every　crumb　of　mud　from　the　tiles。　In　the　living　room；　he　used　a　vacuum　cleaner　to　sweep　the　mud　out　of　the　carpet。　J　These　domestic　chores　occupied　him　for　almost　fifteen　minutes；　and　by　the　time　he　finished；　he　was　no　longer　in　the　mood　that　had　possessed　him　when　he'd　entered　the　kitchen。　Housework　seemed　to　scrub　away　his　blues。　
　〃I'm　going　to　go　upstairs　and　sleep　now；〃　he　said。　〃You'll　be　quiet　and　not　rattle　your　chains　much。〃
　She　said　nothing。
　〃You'll　be　quiet；　or　I'll　e　down　and　shove　five　feet　of　the　chain　up　your　ass。〃
　She　nodded。
　〃Good　girl。〃
　He　left　the　room。　The　difference　between　Vess's　usual　demeanor　and　his　recent　mood　no　longer　eluded　Chyna。　For　a　few　minutes；　he　had　lacked　his　usual　self…confidence。　Now　he　had　it　back。
　Mr。　Vess　always　sleeps　in　the　nude　to　facilitate　his　dreams。
　In　slumberland；　all　the　people　whom　he　encounters　are　naked；　whether　they　are　being　torn　asunder　beneath　him　in　glorious　wetness　or　are　running　in　a　pack　with　him　through　high　shadowed　places　and　down　into　moonlight。　There　is　a　heat　in　his　dreams　that　not　only　makes　clothes　superfluous　but　burns　from　him　the　very　concept　of　clothes；　so　going　naked　is　more　natural　in　the　dreamworld　than　in　the　real　one。
　He　never　suffers　from　nightmares。　This　is　because；　in　his　daily　life；　he　confronts　the　sources　of　his　tensions　and　deals　with　them。　He　is　never　dragged　down　by　guilt。　He　is　not　judgmental　of　others　and　is　never　affected　by　what　they　think　of　him。　He　knows　that　if　something　he　wishes　to　do　feels　right；　then　it　is　right。　He　always　looks　out　for　number　one；　because　to　be　a　successful　human　being；　he　must　first　like　himself。　Consequently；　he　always　goes　to　his　bed　with　a　clear　mind　and　an　untroubled　heart。
　Now；　within　seconds　of　resting　his　head　on　his　pillow；　Mr。　Vess　is　asleep。　From　time　to　time　his　legs　cycle　beneath　the　covers；　as　if　he　is　chasing　something。
　Once；　in　his　sleep；　he　says；　〃Father；〃　almost　reverentially；　and　the　word　hangs　like　a　bubble　on　the　air…which　is　odd；　because　when　Edgler　Vess　was　nine　years　old；　he　burned　his　father　to　death。
　Chains　rattling；　Chyna　leaned　down　and　picked　up　the　spare　cushion　from　the　floor　beside　her　chair。　She　put　it　on　the　table；　slumped　forward；　and　rested　her　head　on　it。
　According　to　the　kitchen　clock；　it　was　a　quarter　till　twelve。　She　had　been　awake　well　over　twenty…four　hours；　except　when　she　had　dozed　in　the　motor　home　and　when　she　had　sat　here　unconscious　after　Vess　clubbed　her。
　Although　exhausted；　and　numb　with　despair；　she　did　not　expect　to　be　able　to　sleep。　But　she　hoped　that　by　keeping　her　eyes　closed　and　letting　her　thoughts　drift　to　more　pleasant　times；　she　might　be　able　to　take　her　mind　off　her　mild　but　gradually　increasing　urge　to　pee　and　off　the　pain　in　her　neck　and　trigger　finger。
　She　was　walking　in　a　wind　full　of　torn　red　blossoms；　curiously　unafraid　of　the　darkness　and　of　the　lightning　that　sometimes　split　it；　when　she　was　awakened　not　by　thunder　but　by　the　sound　of　scissors　clipping　through　paper。
　She　lifted　her　head　from　the　pillow　and　sat　up　straight。　The　fluorescent　light　stung　her　eyes。
　Edgler　Vess　was　standing　at　the　sink；　cutting　open　a　large　bag　of　potato　chips。
　He　said；　〃Ah；　you're　awake；　you　sleepyhead。〃
　Chyna　looked　at　the　clock。　Twenty　minutes　till　five。
　He　said；　〃I　thought　it　might　take　a　brass　band　to　bring　you　around。〃
　She　had　been　asleep　almost　five　hours。　Her　eyes　were　grainy。　Her　mouth　was　sour。　She　could　smell　her　body　odor；　and　she　felt　greasy。
　She　had　not　wet　herself　in　her　sleep；　and　she　was　briefly　lifted　by　an　absurd　sense　of　triumph　that　she　had　not　yet　been　reduced　to　that　lower　level　of　humiliation。　Then　she　realized　how　pathetic　she　was；　priding　herself　on　her　continence；　and　her　internal　grayness　darkened　by　a　degree　or　two。
　Vess　was　wearing　black　boots；　khaki　slacks；　a　black　belt；　and　a　white　T…shirt。
　His　arms　were　muscular；　enormous。　She　would　never　be　able　to　struggle　successfully　against　those　arms。
　He　brought　a　plate　to　the　table。　He　had　made　a　sandwich　for　her。　〃Ham　and　cheese　with　mustard。〃　A　ruffle　of　lettuce　showed　at　the　edges　of　the　bread。　He　had　placed　two　dill　pickle　spears　beside　the　sandwich。
　As　Vess　put　the　bag　of　potato　chips　on　the　table；　Chyna　said；　〃I　don't　want　it。〃
　〃You　have　to　eat；〃　he　said。
　She　looked　out　the　window　at　the　deep　yard　in　late…aftemoon　light。
　〃If　you　don't　eat；〃　he　said；　〃I'll　eventually　have　to　force…feed　you。〃　
　He　picked　up　the　bottle　of　aspirin　and　shook　it　to　get　her　attention。　〃Tasty？〃
　〃I　didn't　take　any；〃　she　said。　〃Ah；　then　you're　learning　to　enjoy　your　pain。〃
　He　seemed　to　win　either　way。　He　took　away　the　aspirin　and　returned　with　a　glass　of　water。　Smiling；　he　said；　〃You've　got　to　keep　those　kidneys　functioning　or　they'll　atrophy。〃
　As　Vess　cleaned　the　counter　where　he'd　made　the　sandwich；　Chyna　said；　〃Were　you　abused　as　a　child？〃　and　hated　herself　for　asking　the　question；　for　still　trying　to　understand。
　Vess　laughed　and　shook　his　head。　〃This　isn't　a　textbook；　Chyna。　This　is　real　life。〃
　〃Were　you？〃
　〃No。　My　father　was　a　Chicago　accountant。　My　mom　sold　women's　wear　at　a　department　store。　They　loved　me。　Bought　me　too　many　toys；　more　than　I　could　use；　especially　since　I　preferred　playing　with　。。。　other　things。〃
　〃Animals；〃　she　said。
　〃That's　right。〃
　〃And　before　animals…insects　or　very　little　things　like　goldfish　or　turtles。〃
　〃Is　that　in　your　textbooks？〃
　〃It's　the　earliest　and　worst　sign。　Torturing　animals。〃
　He　shrugged。　〃It　was　fan　。。。　watching　the　stupid　thing　crawl　on　fire　inside　its　shell。　Really；　Chyna；　you　have　to　learn　to　get　beyond　these　petty　value　judgments。〃
　She　closed　her　eyes；　hoping　he　would　go　to　work。
　〃Anyway；　my　folks　loved　me；　all　caught　up　in　that　delusion。　When　I　was　nine；　I　set　a　fire。　Lighter　fluid　in　their　bed　while　they　were　sleeping；　then　a　cigarette。〃
　〃My　God。〃
　〃There　you　go　again。〃
　〃Why？〃　
　He　mocked：　〃Why　not？〃
　〃Jesus。〃
　〃Want　the　second…best　answer？〃
　〃Yes；〃　she　said。
　〃Then　look　at　me　when　I　talk　to　you。〃　
　She　opened　her　eyes。　His　gaze　cleaved　her。　〃I　set　them　on　fire　because　I　thought　maybe　they　were　beginning　to　catch　on。〃
　〃To　what？〃
　〃To　the　fact　that　I　was　something　special。〃
　〃They　caught　you　with　the　turtle；〃　she　guessed。
　〃No。　A　neighbor's　kitten。　We　lived　in　a　nice　suburb。　There　were　so　many　pets　in　the　neighborhood。　Anyway；　when　they　caught　me；　there　was　talk　of　doctors。　Even　at　nine；　I　knew　I　couldn't　allow　that。　Doctors　might　be　harder　to　fool。　So　we　had　a　little　fire。〃
　〃And　nothing　was　done　to　you？〃
　Finished　with　his　cleaning；　he　sat　down　at　the　table。
　〃No　one　suspected。　Dad　was　smoking　in　bed；　the　firemen　said。　It　happens　all　the　time。　The　whole　house　went。　I　barely　got　out　alive；　and　Mommy　was　screaming；　and　I　couldn't　get　to　her；　couldn't　help　my　mommy；　and　I　was　so　scared。〃　He　winked　at　her。　　After　that；　I　went　to　live　with　my　grandma。　She　was　an　annoying　old　biddy；　full　of　rules；　regulations；　standards　of　conduct；　manners；　and　courtesies　I　had　to　learn。　But　she　couldn't　keep　a　clean　house。　Her　bathroom　was　just　disgusting。　She　led　me　into　my　second　and　last　mistake。　I　killed　her　while　she　was　standing　in　the　kitchen；　just　like　this；　preparing　dinner。　It　was　an　impulsive　thing；　a　knife　twice　in　each　kidney。〃
　〃How　old？〃
　Slyly　playing　with　her；　he　said；　〃Grandma　or　me？〃
　〃You。〃
　〃Eleven。　Too　young　to　be　put　on　trial。　Too　young　for　anyone　to　really　believe　that　I　knew　what　I　was　doing。〃
　〃They　had　to　do　sometbing　to　you。〃
　〃Fourteen　months　in　a　caring　facility。　Lots　of　therapy；　lots　of　counseling；　lots　and　lots　of　attention　and　hugs。　Because；　you　see；　I　must　have　offed　poor　grandma　because　of　my　unexpressed　grief　over　the　accidental　deaths　of　my　parents　in　that　awful；　awful　fire。　One　day　I　realized　what　they　were　trying　to　tell　me；　and　I　just　broke　down　and　cried　and　cried。　Oh；　Chyna；　how　I　cried；　and　wallowed　in　remorse　for　poor　Grandma。　The　therapists　and　social　workers　were　so　appreciative　of　the　wallo