cb.imajica1-第58部分
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p for lion or baboon。 But here； she thought； it was possible to imagine wild beasts roaming。 It was like a foreign landscape； dropped in the middle of England。
It was a long walk to the house； but Estabrook was already leading the way； with Skin as scout。 What visions were in Charlie's mind's eye； Jude wondered； that drove him on with such gusto？ The past； perhaps： childhood visits here？ Or further back still； to the days of High Yoke's glory； when the route they were taking had been raked gravel； and the house ahead a gathering place for the wealthy and the influential？
〃Did you e here a lot when you were little？〃 she asked him as they plowed through the grass。
He looked around at her with a moment's bewilderment； as though he'd forgotten she was with him；
〃Not often；〃 he said。 〃1 liked it； though。 It was like a playground。 Later on； I thought about selling it； but Oscar would never let me。 He had his reasons； of course。 。 。〃
〃What were they？〃 she asked him lightly。
〃Frankly； I'm glad we left it to run to seed。 It's prettier this way。〃
He marched on； wielding his branch like a machete。 As they drew closer to the house； Jude could see what a pitiful state it was in。 The windows were gone； the roof was reduced to a timber lattice； the doors teetered on their hinges like drunks。 All sad enough in any house； but near tragic in a structure that had once been so magnificent。 The sunlight was getting stronger as the clouds cleared； and by the time they stepped through the porch it was pouring through the lattice overhead； its geometry a perfect foil for the scene below。 The staircase； albeit rubble…strewn； still rose in a sweep to a half landing； which had once been dominated by a window fit for a cathedral。 It was smashed now； by a tree toppled many winters before； the withered extremities of which lay on the spot where the lord and lady would have paused before descending to greet their guests。 The paneling of the hallway and the corridors that led off it was still intact； and the boards solid beneath their feet。 Despite the decay of the roof； the structure didn't look unsound。 It had been built to serve Godolphins in perpetuity； the fertility of land and loin preserving the name until the sun went out。 It was flesh that had failed it； not the other way about。
Estabrook and Skin wandered off in the direction of the dining room； which was the size of a restaurant。 Jude followed a little way； but found herself drawn back to the staircase。 All she knew about the period in which the house had flourished she'd culled from films and television； but her imagination rose to the challenge with astonishing ardor； painting mind pictures so intense they all but displaced the dispiriting truth。 When she climbed the stairs； indulging； somewhat guiltily； her dreams of aristocracy； she could see the hallway below lit with the glow of candles； could hear laughter on the landing above and…as she descended…the sigh of silk as her skirts brushed the carpet。
Somebody called to her from a doorway； and she turned expecting to see Estabrook； but the caller was imagined； and the name too。 Nobody had ever called her Peachplum。
The moment unsettled her slightly； and she went after Estabrook； as much to reacquaint herself with solid reality as for his pany。 He was in what had surely been a ballroom； one wall of which was a line of ceiling…high windows； offering a view across terraces and formal gardens to a ruined gazebo。 She went to his side and put her arm through his。 Their breaths became a mon cloud； gilded by the sun through the shattered glass。
〃It must have been so beautiful；〃 she said。
〃I'm sure it was。〃 He sniffed hard。 〃But it's gone forever。〃
〃It could be restored。〃
〃For a fortune。〃
〃You've got a fortune。〃
〃Not that big。〃
〃What about Oscar？〃
〃No。 This is mine。 He can e and go； but it's mine。 That was part of the deal。〃
〃What deal？〃 she said。 He didn't reply。 She pressed him； with words and proximity。 〃Tell me；〃 she said。 〃Share it with me。〃
He took a deep breath。 〃I'm older than Oscar； and there's a family tradition…it goes back to the time when this house was intact…which says the oldest son； or daughter if there are no sons； bees a member of a society called the Tabula Rasa。〃
〃I've never heard of it。〃
〃That's the way they'd like it to stay； I'm sure。 I shouldn't be telling you any of this； but what the hell？ I don't care any more。 It's all ancient history。 So 。 。 。 I was supposed to join the Tabula Rasa； but I was passed over by Papa in favor of Oscar。〃
〃Why？〃
Charlie made a little smile。 〃Believe it or not； they thought I was unstable。 Me？ Can you imagine？ They were afraid I'd be indiscreet。〃 The smile became a laugh。 〃Well； fuck them all。 I'll be indiscreet。〃
〃What does the Society do？〃
〃It was founded to prevent 。 。 。 let me remember the words exactly 。 。 。 to prevent the tainting of England's soil。 Joshua loved England。〃
〃Joshua？〃
〃The Godolphin who built this house。〃
〃What did he think this taint was？〃
〃Who knows？ Catholics？ The French？ He was crazy； and so were most of his friends。 Secret societies were in vogue back then…〃
〃And it's still in operation？〃
〃I suppose so。 I don't talk to Oscar very often； and when I do it's not about the Tabula Rasa。 He's a strange man。 In fact； he's a lot crazier than me。 He just hides it better。〃
〃You used to hide it very well； Charlie；〃 she reminded him。
〃More fool me。 I should have let it out。 I might have kept you；〃 He put his hand up to her face。 〃1 was stupid； Judith。 I can't believe my luck that you've forgiven me；〃
She felt a pang of guilt； hearing him so moved by her manipulations。 But they'd at least borne fruit。 She had two new pieces for the puzzle： the Tabula Rasa and its raison d'etre。
〃Do you believe in magic？〃 she asked him。
〃Do you want the old Charlie or the new one？〃
〃The new。 The crazy。〃
〃Then yes； I think I do。 When Oscar used to bring his little presents round； he'd say to me； 'Have a piece of the miracle。' I used to throw most of them out； except for the bits and pieces you found。 I didn't want to know where he got them。〃
〃You never asked him？〃 she said。
〃I did； finally。 One night when you were away and I was drunk； he came round with that book you found in the safe； and I asked him outright where he got this smut from。 I wasn't ready to believe what he told me。 You know what made me ready？〃
〃No。 What？〃
〃The body on the heath。 I told you about it； didn't I？ I watched them digging around in the muck and the rain for two days and I kept thinking； What a fucking life this is！ No way out except feet first。 I was ready to slit my wrists； and I probably would have done it except that you appeared； and I remembered the way I felt about you when I first saw you。 I remembered feeling as though something miraculous was happening； as though I was reclaiming something I'd lost。 And I thought； If I believe in one miracle I may as well believe in them all。 Even Oscar's。 Even his talk about the Imajica； and the Dominions in the Imajica； and the people there； and the cities。 I just thought； Why not。 。 。 embrace it all before I lose the chance？ Before I'm a body lying out in the rain。〃
〃You won't die in the rain。〃
〃I don't care where I die； Jude； I care where 1 live； and I want to live in some kind of hope。 I want to live with you。〃
〃Charlie；〃 she chided softly； 〃we shouldn't talk about that now。〃
〃Why not？ What better time？ I know you brought me here because you've got questions of your own you want answering； and I don't blame you。 If I'd seen that damn assassin e after me； I'd be asking questions too。 But think about it； Judy； that's all I'm asking。 Think about whether the new Charlie's worth a little bit of your time。 Will you do that？〃
〃I'll do that。〃
〃Thank you；〃 he said； and taking the hand she'd tucked through his arm； he kissed her fingers。
〃You've heard most of Oscar's secrets now；〃 he said。 〃You may as well know them all。 See the little wood way over towards the wall？ That's his little railway station； where he takes the train to wherever he goes。〃
〃I'd like to see it。〃
〃Shall we stroll over there； ma'am？〃 he said。 〃Where did the dog go？〃 He whis
