mc.risingsun-第58部分

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a　reflection。〃
　I　watched　her　reset　the　tapes；　and　prepare　to　run　forward。　Her　one　good　hand　moved　quickly　from　one　machine　to　the　next　as　she　talked。　It　was　odd　to　stand　next　to　a　woman　so　beautiful；　who　was　so　unselfconscious　of　her　beauty。
　〃In　most　images；　there　is　something　reflective；〃　Theresa　said。　〃Outside；　there　are　car　bumpers；　wet　streets；　glass　windowpanes。　And　inside　a　room　there　are　picture　frames；　mirrors；　silver　candlesticks；　chrome　table…legs　。　。　。　。　There's　always　something。〃
　〃But　won't　they　fix　the　reflections；　too？〃
　〃If　they　have　time；　yes。　Because　now　there　are　puter　programs　to　map　an　image　onto　any　shape。　You　can　map　a　picture　onto　a　plicated；　twisted　surface。　But　it　takes　time。　So。　Let's　hope　they　had　no　time。〃
　She　started　the　tapes　forward。　The　first　portion　was　dark；　as　Cheryl　Austin　first　appeared　by　the　elevators。　I　looked　at　Theresa。　I　said；　〃How　do　you　feel　about　this？〃
　〃What　do　you　mean？〃
　〃Helping　us。　The　police。〃
　〃You　mean；　because　I　am　Japanese？〃　She　glanced　at　me；　and　smiled。　It　was　an　odd；　crooked　smile。　〃I　have　no　illusions　about　Japanese。　Do　you　know　where　Sako　is？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃It　is　a　city　…　a　town；　really　…　in　the　north。　In　Hokkaido。　A　provincial　place。　There　is　an　American　airfield　there。　I　was　born　in　Sako。　My　father　was　a　kokujin　mechanic。　You　know　that　word；　kokujin？　Niguro。　A　black　man。　My　mother　worked　in　a　noodle　shop　where　the　air　force　personnel　went。　They　married；　but　my　father　died　in　an　accident　when　I　was　two　years　old。　There　was　a　small　pension　for　the　widow。　So　we　had　some　money。　But　my　grandfather　took　most　of　it；　because　he　insisted　he　had　been　disgraced　by　my　birth。　I　was　ainoko　and　niguro。　They　are　not　nice　words；　what　he　called　me。　But　my　mother　wanted　to　stay　there；　to　stay　in　Japan。　So　I　grew　up　in　Sako。　In　this　。　。　。　place　。　。　。〃
　I　heard　the　bitterness　in　her　voice。
　〃You　know　what　the　burakumin　are？〃　she　said。　〃No？　I　am　not　surprised。　In　Japan；　the　land　where　everyone　is　supposedly　equal；　no　one　speaks　of　burakumin。　But　before　a　marriage；　a　young　man's　family　will　check　the　family　history　of　the　bride；　to　be　sure　there　are　no　burakumin　in　the　past。　The　bride's　family　will　do　the　same。　And　if　there　is　any　doubt；　the　marriage　will　not　occur。　The　burakumin　are　the　untouchables　of　Japan。　The　outcasts；　the　lowest　of　the　low。　They　are　the　descendants　of　tanners　and　leather　workers；　which　in　Buddhism　is　unclean。〃
　〃I　see。〃
　〃And　I　was　lower　than　burakumin；　because　I　was　deformed。　To　the　Japanese；　deformity　is　shameful。　Not　sad；　or　a　burden。　Shameful。　It　means　you　have　done　something　wrong。　Deformity　shames　you；　and　your　family；　and　your　munity。　The　people　around　you　wish　you　were　dead。　And　if　you　are　half　black；　the　ainoko　of　an　American　big　nose　。　。　。〃　She　shook　her　head。　〃Children　are　cruel。　And　this　was　a　provincial　place；　a　country　town。〃
　She　watched　the　tape　go　forward。
　〃So　I　am　glad　to　be　here。　You　Americans　do　not　know　in　what　grace　your　land　exists。　What　freedom　you　enjoy　in　your　hearts。　You　cannot　imagine　the　harshness　of　life　in　Japan；　if　you　are　excluded　from　the　group。　But　I　know　it　very　well。　And　I　do　not　mind　if　the　Japanese　suffer　a　little　now；　from　my　efforts　with　my　one　good　hand。〃
　She　glared　at　me。　The　intensity　turned　her　face　to　a　mask。　〃Does　that　answer　your　question；　Lieutenant？〃
　〃Yes；〃　I　said。　〃It　does。〃
　〃When　I　e　to　America；　I　think　the　Americans　are　very　foolish　about　the　Japanese　…　but　never　mind。　Here　is　the　sequence　now。　You　watch　the　top　two　monitors。　I　will　watch　the　bottom　three。　Look　carefully　for　objects　that　reflect。　Look　closely。　Here　it　es。〃
　
　？
　I　watched　the　monitors　in　the　darkness。
　Theresa　Asakuma　was　feeling　bitter　about　the　Japanese；　but　so　was　I。　The　incident　with　Weasel　Wilhelm　had　made　me　angry。　Angry　the　way　somebody　who's　scared　can　be　angry。　One　sentence　he　had　said　kept　ing　back　to　my　mind；　again　and　again。
　Under　the　circumstances；　don't　you　think　the　court　made　a　mistake　in　granting　you　custody　of　your　young　daughter？　
　I　never　wanted　custody。　In　all　the　turmoil　of　the　divorce；　of　Lauren　moving　out；　packing　up；　this　is　yours；　this　is　mine　…　in　all　that；　the　last　thing　I　wanted　was　custody　of　a　seven…month…old　baby。　Shelly　was　just　starting　to　move　around　the　living　room；　holding　onto　the　furniture。　She　would　say　〃Mama。〃　Her　first　word。　But　Lauren　didn't　want　the　responsibility　and　kept　saying；　〃I　can't　handle　it；　Peter。　I　just　can't　handle　it。〃　So　I　took　custody。　What　else　could　I　do？
　But　now　it　was　almost　two　years　later。　I　had　changed　my　life。　I　had　changed　my　job；　my　schedule。　She　was　my　daughter　now。　And　the　thought　of　giving　her　up　was　like　twisting　a　knife　in　my　stomach。
　Under　the　circumstances；　Lieutenant；　don't　you　think　。　。　。　
　On　the　monitor；　I　watched　as　Cheryl　Austin　waited　in　the　darkness　for　the　arrival　of　her　lover。　I　watched　the　way　she　looked　around　the　room。
　The　court　made　a　mistake　。　。　。
　No；　I　thought；　the　court　didn't　make　a　mistake。　Lauren　couldn't　handle　it；　and　had　never　been　able　to　handle　it。　Half　the　time；　she　skipped　on　her　weekends。　She　was　too　busy　to　see　her　own　daughter。　Once　after　a　weekend　she　returned　Michelle　to　me。　Michelle　was　crying。　Lauren　said；　〃I　just　don't　know　what　to　do　with　her。〃　I　checked。　Her　diapers　were　wet　and　she　had　a　painful　rash。　Michelle　always　gets　a　rash　when　her　diapers　aren't　changed　promptly。　Lauren　hadn't　changed　her　diapers　often　enough　during　the　weekend。　So　I　changed　her；　and　there　were　streaks　of　shit　in　Michelle's　vagina。　She　hadn't　cleaned　her　own　daughter　properly。
　Don't　you　think　the　court　made　a　mistake？　
　No；　I　didn't。
　Under　the　circumstances；　don't　you　think　…
　〃Fuck　it；〃　I　said。
　Theresa　stabbed　a　button；　stopped　the　tapes。　The　images　froze　on　the　monitors　all　around　us。　〃What　is　it？〃　she　said。　〃What　did　you　see？〃
　〃Nothing。〃
　She　looked　at　me。
　〃I'm　sorry。　I　was　thinking　of　something　else。〃
　〃Don't。〃
　She　started　the　tape　again。
　On　multiple　monitors；　the　man　embraced　Cheryl　Austin。　Images　from　the　different　cameras　were　coordinated　in　an　eerie　way。　It　was　as　if　we　could　see　all　sides　of　the　event…　front　and　back；　top　and　sides。　It　was　like　a　moving　architectural　blueprint。
　And　it　felt　creepy；　to　watch；
　My　two　monitors　showed　the　view　from　the　far　end　of　the　room；　and　from　high　above；　looking　straight　down。　Cheryl　and　her　lover　were　small　in　one　monitor；　and　in　the　other　one；　I　saw　only　the　tops　of　their　heads。　But　I　watched。
　Standing　alongside　me；　Theresa　Asakuma　breathed　slowly；　regularly。　In　and　out。　I　glanced　at　her。
　〃Pay　attention。〃
　I　looked　back。
　The　lovers　were　in　a　passionate　embrace。　The　man　pressed　Cheryl　back　against　a　desk。　In　my　top　view；　I　could　see　her　face；　looking　straight　up　as　she　lay　back。　Beside　her；　a　framed　picture　on　the　desk　fell　over。
　〃There；〃　I　said。
　Theresa　stopped　the　tape。
　〃What？〃　she　said。
　〃There。〃　I　pointed　to　the　framed　picture。　It　lay　flat；　facing　upward。　Reflected　in　the　glass；　we　could　see　the　outline　of　the　man's　head　as　he　bent　over　Cheryl。　It　was　very　dark。　Just　a　silhouette。
　〃Can　you　get　an　image　from　that？〃　I　said。
　〃I　don't　know。　Let's　try。〃
　Her　hand　moved　swiftly　across　the　controls；　touching　them　briefly。　〃The　video　image　is　digital；〃　she　said。　〃It's　in　the　puter　now。　We'll　see　what　we　can　do　with　it。〃　The　image　began　to　jump；　growing　larger　in　increments　as　she　zoomed　in　on　the　picture　frame。　The　image　moved　past　Cheryl's　frozen；　grainy　face；　her　head　thrown　back　in　an　instant　of　passion。　Moved　down　from　her　shoulder；　toward　the　frame。
　As　the　picture　enlarged；　it　became　more　grainy。　It　began　to　depose　into　a　pattern　of　dots；　like　a　newspaper　photo　held　too　close　to　your　face。　Then　the　dots　themselves　enlarged；　formed　edges；　turned　into　small　blocks　of　gray。　Pretty　soon　I　couldn't　tell　what　we　were　looking　at。
　〃Is　this　going　to　work？〃
　〃I　doubt　it。　But　there's　the　edge　of　the　frame；　and　there's　the　face。〃
　I　was　glad　she　could　see　it。　I　couldn't。
　〃Let's　sharpen。〃
　She　pressed　buttons。　puter　menus　dropped　down；　flashed　back。　The　image　became　crisper。　Grittier。　But　I　could　see　the　frame。　And　the　outline　of　the　head。
　〃Sharpen　again。〃
　She　did　that。
　〃All　right。