sk.everythingseventual-第112部分

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now　showing　the　spinning　roulette　wheel　。　。　。　and　her。
　　I'm　even　a　TV　star。　Luckey　me。　Luckey　me。　Oh　so　luckey　me。
　　The　ball　spun。　The　ball　bounced。　It　almost　caught；　then　spun　again；　a　little　white　dervish　racing　around　the　polished　wood　circumference　of　the　wheel。
　　'Odds！'　she　suddenly　cried。　'What　are　the　odds？'
　　'Thirty　to　one；'　the　tall　bald　man　said。　'Twenty…four　thousand　dollars　should　you　win；　madam。'　Darlene　closed　her　eyes　。　。　。
　　
　　。　。　。　and　opened　them　in　322。　She　was　still　sitting　in　the　chair；　with　the　envelope　in　one　hand　and　the　quarter　that　had　fallen　out　of　it　in　the　other。　Her　tears　of　laughter　were　still　wet　on　her　cheeks。
　　'Luckey　me；'　she　said；　and　squeezed　the　envelope　so　she　could　look　into　it。
　　No　note。　Just　another　part　of　the　fantasy；　misspellings　and　all。　Sighing；　Darlene　slipped　the　quarter　into　her　uniform　pocket　and　began　to　clean　up　322。
　　
　　Instead　of　taking　Paul　home　as　she　normally　did　after　school；　Patsy　brought　him　to　the　hotel。　'He's　snotting　all　over　the　place；'　she　explained　to　her　mother；　her　voice　dripping　with　disdain　which　only　a　thirteen…year…old　could　muster　in　such　quantities。　'He's；　like；　choking　on　it。　I　thought　maybe　you'd　want　to　take　him　to　the　Doc　in　the　Box。'
　　Paul　looked　at　her　silently　from　his　watering；　patient　eyes。　His　nose　was　as　red　as　the　stripe　on　a　candy　cane。　They　were　in　the　lobby；　there　were　no　guests　checking　in　currently；　and　Mr。　Avery　（Tex　to　the　maids；　who　unanimously　hated　the　little　prick）　was　away　from　the　desk。　Probably　back　in　the　office；　choking　his　chicken。　If　he　could　find　it。
　　Darlene　put　her　palm　on　Paul's　forehead；　felt　the　warmth　simmering　there；　and　sighed。　'Suppose　you're　right；'　she　said。　'How　are　you　feeling；　Paul？'
　　'Ogay；'　Paul　said　in　a　distant；　foghorning　voice。
　　Even　Patsy　looked　depressed。　'He'll　probably　be　dead　by　the　time　he's　sixteen；'　she　said。　'The　only　case　of；　like；　spontaneous　AIDS　in　the　history　of　the　world。'
　　'You　shut　your　dirty　little　mouth！'　Darlene　said；　much　more　sharply　than　she　had　intended；　but　Paul　was　the　one　who　looked　wounded…he　winced　and　looked　away　from　her。
　　'He's　a　baby；　too；'　Patsy　said　hopelessly。　'I　mean；　really。'
　　'No；　he's　not。　He's　sensitive；　that's　all。　And　his　resistance　is　low。'　She　fished　in　her　uniform　pocket。　'Paul？　Want　this？'
　　He　looked　back　at　her；　saw　the　quarter；　and　smiled　a　little。
　　'What　are　you　going　to　do　with　it；　Paul？'　Patsy　asked　him　as　he　took　it。　'Take　Deirdre　McCausland　out　on　a　date？'　She　snickered。
　　'I'll　thing　of　subething；'　Paul　said。
　　'Leave　him　alone；'　Darlene　said。　'Don't　bug　him　for　a　little　while；　could　you　do　that？'
　　'Yeah；　but　what　do　I　get？'　Patsy　asked　her。　'I　walked　him　over　here　safe；　I　always　walk　him　safe；　so　what　do　I　get？'
　　Braces；　Darlene　thought；　if　I　can　ever　afford　them。　And　she　was　suddenly　overwhelmed　by　unhappiness；　by　a　sense　of　life　as　some　vast　cold　junkpile…deluminum　slag；　if　you　liked…that　was　always　looming　over　you；　always　waiting　to　fall；　cutting　you　to　screaming　ribbons　even　before　it　crushed　the　life　out　of　you。　Luck　was　a　joke。　Even　good　luck　was　just　bad　luck　with　its　hair　bed。
　　'Mom？　Mommy？'　Patsy　sounded　suddenly　concerned。　'I　don't　want　anything；　I　was　just　kidding　around；　you　know。'
　　'I've　got　a　Sassy　for　you；　if　you　want；'　Darlene　said。　'I　found　it　in　one　of　my　rooms　and　put　it　in　my　locker。'
　　'This　month's？'　Patsy　sounded　suspicious。
　　'Actually　this　month's。　e　on。'
　　They　were　halfway　across　the　room　when　they　heard　the　drop　of　the　coin　and　the　unmistakable　ratchet　of　the　handle　and　whir　of　the　drums　as　Paul　pulled　the　handle　of　the　slot　machine　beside　the　desk　and　then　let　it　go。
　　'Oh　you　dumb　hoser；　you're　in　trouble　now！'　Patsy　cried。　She　did　not　sound　exactly　unhappy　about　it。　'How　many　times　has　Mom　told　you　not　to　throw　your　money　away　on　stuff　like　that？　Slots're　for　the　tourists！'
　　But　Darlene　didn't　even　turn　around。　She　stood　looking　at　the　door　that　led　back　to　the　maid's　country；　where　the　cheap　cloth　coats　from　Ames　and　Wal…Mart　hung　in　a　row　like　dreams　that　have　grown　seedy　and　been　discarded；　where　the　time…clock　ticked；　where　the　air　always　smelled　of　Melissa's　perfume　and　Jane's　Ben…Gay。　She　stood　listening　to　the　drums　whir；　she　stood　waiting　for　the　rattle　of　coins　into　the　tray；　and　by　the　time　they　began　to　fall　she　was　already　thinking　about　how　she　could　ask　Melissa　to　watch　the　kids　while　she　went　down　to　the　casino。　It　wouldn't　take　long。
　　Luckey　me；　she　thought；　and　closed　her　eyes。　In　the　darkness　behind　her　lids；　the　sound　of　the　falling　coins　seemed　very　loud。　It　sounded　like　metal　slag　falling　on　top　of　a　coffin。
　　It　was　all　going　to　happen　just　the　way　she　had　imagined；　she　was　somehow　sure　that　it　was；　and　yet　that　image　of　life　as　a　huge　slagheap；　a　pile　of　alien　metal；　remained。　It　was　like　an　indelible　stain　that　you　know　will　never　e　out　of　some　favorite　piece　of　clothing。
　　Yet　Patsy　needed　braces；　Paul　needed　to　see　a　doctor　about　his　constantly　running　nose　and　constantly　watering　eyes；　he　needed　a　Sega　system　the　way　Patsy　needed　some　colorful　underwear　that　would　make　her　feel　funny　and　sexy；　and　she　needed　。　。　。　what？　What　did　she　need？　Deke　back？
　　Sure；　Deke　back；　she　thought；　almost　laughing。　I　need　him　back　like　I　need　puberty　back；　or　labor　pains。　I　need　。　。　。　well　。　。　。
　　（nothing）
　　Yes；　that　was　right。　Nothing　at　all；　zero；　empty；　adiós。　Black　days；　empty　nights；　and　laughing　all　the　way。
　　I　don't　need　anything　because　I'm　luckey；　she　thought；　her　eyes　still　closed。　Tears；　squeezing　out　from　beneath　her　closed　lids；　while　behind　her　Patsy　was　screaming　at　the　top　of　her　lungs。　'Oh　shit！　Oh　shit…a…booger；　you　hit　the　jackpot；　Paulie！　You　hit　the　damned　jackpot！'
　　Luckey；　Darlene　thought。　So　luckey；　oh　luckey　me。







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