sk.everythingseventual-第44部分

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　　Roland　remembered　the　candles…the　way　their　glow　had　bined　and　streamed　up　in　a　column；　illuminating　the　Sisters　as　they　gathered　around　the　bearded　man。　Giggling。　Their　damned　bells　jingling。
　　Now；　as　if　summoned　by　his　thoughts；　came　Sister　Mary；　gliding　along　rapidly　with　Sister　Louise　in　her　wake。　Louise　bore　a　tray；　and　looked　nervous。　Mary　was　frowning；　obviously　not　in　good　temper。
　　To　be　grumpy　after　you've　fed　so　well？　Roland　thought。　Fie；　Sister。
　　She　reached　the　gunslinger's　bed　and　looked　down　at　him。　'I　have　little　to　thank　ye　for；　sai；'　she　said　with　no　preamble。
　　'Have　I　asked　for　your　thanks？'　he　responded　in　a　voice　that　sounded　as　dusty　and　little…used　as　the　pages　of　an　old　book。
　　She　took　no　notice。　'Ye've　made　one　who　was　only　impudent　and　restless　with　her　place　outright　rebellious。　Well；　her　mother　was　the　same　way；　and　died　of　it　not　long　after　returning　Jenna　to　her　proper　place。　Raise　your　hand；　thankless　man。'
　　'I　can't。　I　can't　move　at　all。'
　　'Oh；　cully！　Haven't　you　heard　it　said　'fool　not　your　mother　'less　she's　out　of　face'？　I　know　pretty　well　what　ye　can　and　can't　do。　Now　raise　your　hand。'
　　Roland　raised　his　right　hand；　trying　to　suggest　more　effort　than　it　actually　took。　He　thought　that　this　morning　he　might　be　strong　enough　to　slip　free　of　the　slings　。　。　。　but　what　then？　Any　real　walking　would　be　beyond　him　for　hours　yet；　even　without　another　dose　of　'medicine'　。　。　。　and　behind　Sister　Mary；　Sister　Louise　was　taking　the　cover　from　a　fresh　bowl　of　soup。　As　Roland　looked　at　it；　his　stomach　rumbled。
　　Big　Sister　heard　and　smiled　a　bit。　'Even　lying　in　bed　builds　an　appetite　in　a　strong　man；　if　it's　done　long　enough。　Wouldn't　you　say　so；　Jason；　brother　of　John？'
　　'My　name　is　James。　As　you　well　know；　Sister。'
　　'Do　I？'　She　laughed　angrily。　'Oh；　la！　And　if　I　whipped　your　little　sweetheart　hard　enough　and　long　enough…until　the　blood　jumped　out　her　back　like　drops　of　sweat；　let　us　say…should　I　not　whip　a　different　name　out　of　her？　Or　didn't　ye　trust　her　with　it；　during　your　little　talk？'
　　'Touch　her　and　I'll　kill　you。'
　　She　laughed　again。　Her　face　shimmered；　her　firm　mouth　turned　into　something　that　looked　like　a　dying　jellyfish。　'Speak　not　of　killing　to　us；　cully；　lest　we　speak　of　it　to　you。'
　　'Sister；　if　you　and　Jenna　don't　see　eye　to　eye；　why　not　release　her　from　her　vows　and　let　her　go　her　course？'
　　'Such　as　us　can　never　be　released　from　our　vows；　nor　be　let　go。　Her　mother　tried　and　then　came　back；　her　dying　and　the　girl　sick。　Why；　it　was　we　nursed　Jenna　back　to　health　after　her　mother　was　nothing　but　dirt　in　the　breeze　that　blows　out　toward　End…World；　and　how　little　she　thanks　us！　Besides；　she　bears　the　Dark　Bells；　the　sigul　of　our　sisterhood。　Of　our　ka…tet。　Now　eat…yer　belly　says　ye're　hungry！'
　　Sister　Louise　offered　the　bowl；　but　her　eyes　kept　drifting　to　the　shape　the　medallion　made　under　the　breast　of　his　bed…dress。　Don't　like　it；　do　you？　Roland　thought；　and　then　remembered　Louise　by　candlelight；　the　freighter's　blood　on　her　chin；　her　ancient　eyes　eager　as　she　leaned　forward　to　lick　his　spend　from　Sister　Mary's　hand。
　　He　turned　his　head　aside。　'I　want　nothing。'
　　'But　ye're　hungry！'　Louise　protested。　'If'ee　don't　eat；　James；　how　will'ee　get'ee　strength　back？'
　　'Send　Jenna。　I'll　eat　what　she　brings。'
　　Sister　Mary's　frown　was　black。　'Ye'll　see　her　no　more。　She's　been　released　from　Thoughtful　House　only　on　her　solemn　promise　to　double　her　time　of　meditation　。　。　。　and　to　stay　out　of　infirmary。　Now　eat；　James；　or　whoever　ye　are。　Take　what's　in　the　soup；　or　we'll　cut　ye　with　knives　and　rub　it　in　with　flannel　poultices。　Either　way；　makes　no　difference　to　us。　Does　it；　Louise？'
　　'Nar；'　Louise　said。　She　still　held　out　the　bowl。　Steam　rose　from　it；　and　the　good　smell　of　chicken。
　　'But　it　might　make　a　difference　to　you。'　Sister　Mary　grinned　humorlessly；　baring　her　unnaturally　large　teeth。　'Flowing　blood's　risky　around　here。　The　doctors　don't　like　it。　It　stirs　them　up。'
　　It　wasn't　just　the　bugs　that　were　stirred　up　at　the　sight　of　blood；　and　Roland　knew　it。　He　also　knew　he　had　no　choice　in　the　matter　of　the　soup。　He　took　the　bowl　from　Louise　and　ate　slowly。　He　would　have　given　much　to　wipe　out　the　look　of　satisfaction　he　saw　on　Sister　Mary's　face。
　　'Good；'　she　said　after　he　had　handed　the　bowl　back　and　she　had　peered　inside　to　make　sure　it　was　pletely　empty。　His　hand　thumped　back　into　the　sling　which　had　been　rigged　for　it；　already　too　heavy　to　hold　up。　He　could　feel　the　world　drawing　away　again。
　　Sister　Mary　leaned　forward；　the　billowing　top　of　her　habit　touching　the　skin　of　his　left　shoulder。　He　could　smell　her；　an　aroma　both　ripe　and　dry；　and　would　have　gagged　if　he'd　had　the　strength。
　　'Have　that　foul　gold　thing　off　ye　when　yer　strength　es　back　a　little…put　it　in　the　pissoir　under　the　bed。　Where　it　belongs。　For　to　be　even　this　close　to　where　it　lies　hurts　my　head　and　makes　my　throat　close。'
　　Speaking　with　enormous　effort；　Roland　said；　'If　you　want　it；　take　it。　How　can　I　stop　you；　you　bitch？'
　　Once　more　her　frown　turned　her　face　into　something　like　a　thunderhead。　He　thought　she　would　have　slapped　him；　if　she　had　dared　touch　him　so　close　to　where　the　medallion　lay。　Her　ability　to　touch　seemed　to　end　above　his　waist；　however。
　　'I　think　you　had　better　consider　the　matter　a　little　more　fully；'　she　said。　'I　can　still　have　Jenna　whipped；　if　I　like。　She　bears　the　Dark　Bells；　but　I　am　the　Big　Sister。　Consider　that　very　well。'
　　She　left。　Sister　Louise　followed；　casting　one　look…a　strange　bination　of　fright　and　lust…back　over　her　shoulder。
　　Roland　thought；　I　must　get　out　of　here…I　must。
　　Instead；　he　drifted　back　to　that　dark　place　which　wasn't　quite　sleep。　Or　perhaps　he　did　sleep；　at　least　for　awhile；　perhaps　he　dreamed。　Fingers　once　more　caressed　his　fingers；　and　lips　first　kissed　his　ear　and　then　whispered　into　it：　'Look　beneath　your　pillow；　Roland　。　。　。　but　let　no　one　know　I　was　here。'
　　At　some　point　after　this；　Roland　opened　his　eyes　again；　half…expecting　to　see　Sister　Jenna's　pretty　young　face　hovering　above　him。　And　that　ma　of　dark　hair　once　more　poking　out　from　beneath　her　wimple。　There　was　no　one。　The　swags　of　silk　overhead　were　at　their　brightest；　and　although　it　was　impossible　to　tell　the　hours　in　here　with　any　real　accuracy；　Roland　guessed　it　to　be　around　noon。　Perhaps　three　hours　since　his　second　bowl　of　the　Sisters'　soup。
　　Beside　him；　John　Norman　still　slept；　his　breath　whistling　out　in　faint；　nasal　snores。
　　Roland　tried　to　raise　his　hand　and　slide　it　under　his　pillow。　The　hand　wouldn't　move。　He　could　wiggle　the　tips　of　his　fingers；　but　that　was　all。　He　waited；　calming　his　mind　as　well　as　he　could；　gathering　his　patience。　Patience　wasn't　easy　to　e　by。　He　kept　thinking　about　what　Norman　had　said…that　there　had　been　twenty　survivors　of　the　ambush　。　。　。　at　least　to　start　with。　One　by　one　they　went；　until　only　me　and　that　one　down　yonder　was　left。　And　now　you。
　　The　girl　wasn't　here。　His　mind　spoke　in　the　soft；　regretful　tone　of　Alain；　one　of　his　old　friends；　dead　these　many　years　now。　She　wouldn't　dare；　not　with　the　others　watching。　That　was　only　a　dream　you　had。
　　But　Roland　thought　perhaps　it　had　been　more　than　a　dream。
　　Some　length　of　time　later…the　slowly　shifting　brightness　overhead　made　him　believe　it　had　been　about　an　hour…Roland　tried　his　hand　again。　This　time　he　was　able　to　get　it　beneath　his　pillow。　This　was　puffy　and　soft；　tucked　snugly　into　the　wide　sling　that　supported　the　gunslinger's　neck。　At　first　he　found　nothing；　but　as　his　fingers　worked　their　slow　way　deeper；　they　touched　what　felt　like　a　stiffish　bundle　of　thin　rods。
　　He　paused；　gathering　a　little　more　strength　（every　movement　was　like　swimming　in　glue）；　and　then　burrowed　deeper。　It　felt　like　a　dead　bouquet。　Wrapped　around　it　was　what　felt　like　a　ribbon。
　　Roland　looked　around　to　make　sure　the　ward　was　still　empty　and　Norman　still　asleep；　then　drew　out　what　was　under　the　pillow。　It　was　six　brittle　stems　of　fading　green　with　brownish　reed　heads　at　the　tops。　They　gave　off　a　strange；　yeasty　aroma　that　made　Roland　think　of　early…morning　begging　expeditions　to　the　Great　House　kitchens　as　a　ch