sk.everythingseventual-第57部分

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　　I　gaped　at　him。　'Is　that　true？　There　are　people　who　can　see…'
　　'Yes。　They're　our　bloodhounds。　They　crisscross　the　country…and　all　the　other　countries…looking　for　that　bright　yellow　glow。　Looking　for　matchheads　in　the　darkness。　This　particular　young　woman　was　on　Route　90；　actually　headed　for　Pittsburgh　to　catch　a　plane　home…to　grab　a　little　R…and…R…when　she　saw　you。　Or　sensed　you。　Or　whatever　it　is　they　do。　The　finders　don't　really　know　themselves；　any　more　than　you　really　know　what　you　did　to　Skipper。　Do　you？'
　　'What…'
　　He　raised　a　hand。　'I　told　you　that　you　wouldn't　get　all　the　answers　you'd　like…this　is　something　you'll　have　to　decide　on　the　basis　of　what　you　feel；　not　on　what　you　know…but　I　can　tell　you　a　couple　of　things。　To　begin　with；　Dink；　I　work　for　an　outfit　called　the　Trans　Corporation。　Our　job　is　getting　rid　of　the　world's　Skipper　Brannigans…the　big　ones；　the　ones　who　do　it　on　a　grand　scale。　We　have　pany　headquarters　in　Chicago　and　a　training　center　in　Peoria　。　。　。　where　you'll　spend　a　week；　if　you　agree　to　my　proposal。'
　　I　didn't　say　anything　then；　but　I　knew　already　I　was　going　to　say　yes　to　his　proposal。　Whatever　it　was；　I　was　going　to　say　yes。
　　'You're　a　tranny；　my　young　friend。　Better　get　used　to　the　idea。'
　　'What　is　it？'
　　'A　trait。　There　are　folks　in　our　organization　who　think　of　what　you　have　。　。　。　what　you　can　do　。　。　。　as　a　talent　or　an　ability　or　even　a　kind　of　glitch；　but　they're　wrong。　Talent　and　ability　are　born　of　trait。　Trait　is　general；　talent　and　ability　are　specific。'
　　'You'll　have　to　simplify　that。　I'm　a　high…school　dropout；　remember。'
　　'I　know；'　he　said。　'I　also　know　that　you　didn't　drop　out　because　you　were　stupid；　you　dropped　out　because　you　didn't　fit。　In　that　way；　you　are　like　every　other　tranny　I've　ever　met。'　He　laughed　in　the　sharp　way　people　do　when　they're　not　really　amused。　'All　twenty…one　of　them。　Now　listen　to　me；　and　don't　play　dumb。　Creativity　is　like　a　hand　at　the　end　of　your　arm。　But　a　hand　has　many　fingers；　doesn't　it？'
　　'Well；　at　least　five。'
　　'Think　of　those　fingers　as　abilities。　A　creative　person　may　write；　paint；　sculpt；　or　think　up　math　formulae；　he　or　she　might　dance　or　sing　or　play　a　musical　instrument。　Those　are　the　fingers；　but　creativity　is　the　hand　that　gives　them　life。　And　just　as　all　hands　are　basically　the　same…form　follows　function…all　creative　people　are　the　same　once　you　get　down　to　the　place　where　the　fingers　join。
　　'Trans　is　also　like　a　hand。　Sometimes　its　fingers　are　called　precognition；　the　ability　to　see　the　future。　Sometimes　they're　postcognition；　the　ability　to　see　the　past…we　have　a　guy　who　knows　who　killed　John　F。　Kennedy；　and　it　wasn't　Lee　Harvey　Oswald；　it　was；　in　fact；　a　woman。　There's　telepathy；　pyrokinesis；　telempathy；　and　who　knows　how　many　others。　We　don't　know；　certainly；　this　is　a　new　world；　and　we've　barely　begun　to　explore　its　first　continent。　But　trans　is　different　from　creativity　in　one　vital　way：　it's　much　rarer。　One　person　in　eight　hundred　is　what　occupational　psychologists　call　'gifted。'　We　believe　that　there　may　only　be　one　tranny　in　each　eight　million　people。'
　　That　took　my　breath　away…the　idea　that　you　might　be　one　in　eight　million　would　take　anybody's　breath　away；　right？
　　'That's　about　a　hundred　and　twenty　for　every　billion　ordinary　folks；'　he　said。　'We　think　there　may　be　no　more　than　three　thousand　so…called　trannies　in　the　whole　world。　We're　finding　them；　one　by　one。　It's　slow　work。　The　sensing　ability　is　fairly　low…level；　but　we　still　only　have　a　dozen　or　so　finders；　and　each　one　takes　a　lot　of　training。　This　is　a　hard　calling　。　。　。　but　it's　also　fabulously　rewarding。　We're　finding　trannies　and　we're　putting　them　to　work。　That's　what　we　want　to　do　with　you；　Dink：　put　you　to　work。　We　want　to　help　you　focus　your　talent；　sharpen　it；　and　use　it　for　the　betterment　of　all　mankind。　You　won't　be　able　to　see　any　of　your　old　friends　again…there's　no　security　risk　on　earth　like　an　old　friend；　we've　found…and　there's　not　a　whole　lot　of　cash　in　it；　at　least　to　begin　with；　but　there's　a　lot　of　satisfaction；　and　what　I'm　going　to　offer　you　is　only　the　bottom　rung　of　what　may　turn　out　to　be　a　very　high　ladder。'
　　'Don't　forget　those　fringe　benefits；'　I　said；　kind　of　raising　my　voice　on　the　last　word；　turning　it　into　a　question；　if　he　wanted　to　take　it　that　way。
　　He　grinned　and　clapped　me　on　the　shoulder。　'That's　right；'　he　said。　'Those　famous　fringe　benefits。'
　　By　then　I　was　starting　to　get　excited。　My　doubts　weren't　gone；　but　they　were　melting　away。　'So　tell　me　about　it；'　I　said。　My　heart　was　beating　hard；　but　it　wasn't　fear。　Not　anymore。　'Make　me　an　offer　I　can't　refuse。'
　　And　that's　just　what　he　did。
　　
　　XI
　　
　　Three　weeks　later　I'm　on　an　airplane　for　the　first　time　in　my　life…and　what　a　way　to　lose　your　cherry！　The　only　passenger　in　a　Lear　35；　listening　to　Counting　Crows　pouring　out　of　quad　speakers　with　a　Coke　in　one　hand；　watching　as　the　altimeter　climbs　all　the　way　to　forty…two　thousand　feet。　That's　over　a　mile　higher　than　most　mercial　jetliners　fly；　the　pilot　told　me。　And　a　ride　as　smooth　as　the　seat　of　a　girl's　underpants。
　　I　spent　a　week　in　Peoria；　and　I　was　homesick。　Really　homesick。　Surprised　the　shit　out　of　me。　There　were　a　couple　of　nights　when　I　even　cried　myself　to　sleep。　I'm　ashamed　to　say　that；　but　I've　been　truthful　so　far；　and　don't　want　to　start　lying　or　leaving　things　out　now。
　　Ma　was　the　least　of　what　I　missed。　You'd　think　we　would　have　been　close；　as　it　was　'us　against　the　world；'　in　a　manner　of　speaking；　but　my　mother　was　never　much　for　loving　and　forting。　She　didn't　whip　on　my　head　or　put　out　her　cigarettes　in　my　armpits　or　anything　like　that；　but　so　what？　I　mean；　big　whoop。　I've　never　had　any　kids；　so　I　guess　I　can't　say　for　sure；　but　I　somehow　don't　think　being　a　great　parent　is　about　the　stuff　you　didn't　do　to　your　rug　monkeys。　Ma　was　always　more　into　her　friends　than　me；　and　her　weekly　trip　to　the　beauty　shop；　and　Friday　nights　out　at　the　Reservation。　Her　big　ambition　in　life　was　to　win　a　twenty…number　Bingo　and　drive　home　in　a　brand…new　Monte　Carlo。　I'm　not　sitting　on　the　pity…pot；　either。　I'm　just　telling　you　how　it　was。
　　Mr。　Sharpton　called　Ma　and　told　her　that　I'd　been　chosen　to　intern　in　the　Trans　Corporation's　advanced　puter　training　and　placement　project；　a　special　deal　for　non…diploma　kids　with　potential。　The　story　was　actually　pretty　believable。　I　was　a　shitty　math　student　and　froze　up　almost　pletely　in　classes　like　English；　where　you　were　supposed　to　talk；　but　I　was　always　on　good　terms　with　the　school　puters。　In　fact；　although　I　don't　like　to　brag　（and　I　never　let　any　of　the　faculty　in　on　this　little　secret）；　I　could　program　rings　around　Mr。　Jacubois　and　Mrs。　Wilcoxen。　I　never　cared　much　about　puter　games…they're　strictly　for　dickbrains；　in　my　humble　opinion…but　I　could　keyjack　like　a　mad　motherfucker。　Pug　used　to　drop　by　and　watch　me；　sometimes。
　　'I　can't　believe　you；'　he　said　once。　'Man；　you　got　that　thing　smokin　and　tokin。'
　　I　shrugged。　'Any　fool　can　peel　the　Apple；'　I　said。　'It　takes　a　real　man　to　eat　the　core。'
　　So　Ma　believed　it　（she　might　have　had　a　few　more　questions　if　she　knew　the　Trans　Corporation　was　flying　me　out　to　Illinois　in　a　private　jet；　but　she　didn't）；　and　I　didn't　miss　her　all　that　much。　But　I　missed　Pug；　and　John　Cassiday；　who　was　our　other　friend　from　our　Supr　Savr　days。　John　plays　bass　in　a　punk　band；　wears　a　gold　ring　in　his　left　eyebrow；　and　has　just　about　every　Subpop　record　ever　made。　He　cried　when　Kurt　Cobain　ate　the　dirt　sandwich。　Didn't　try　to　hide　it　or　blame　it　on　allergies；　either。　Just　said；　'I'm　sad　because　Kurt　died。'　John's　eventual。
　　And　I　missed　Harkerville。　Perverse　but　true。　Being　at　the　training　center　in　Peoria　was　like　being　born　again；　somehow；　and　I　guess　being　born　always　hurts。
　　I　thought　I　might　meet　some　other　people　like　me…if　this　was　a　book　or　a　movie　（or　maybe　just　an　episode　of　The　X…Files）；　I　would　meet　a　cute　chick　with　nifty　little　tits　and　the　ability　to　shut　doors　from　across　the　room…but　that　didn't　happen。　I'm　pretty　sure　there　were　other　trannies　at　Peoria　when　I　was　there；　but　Dr。　Wentworth　and　the　other　folks　running　the　place　were