sk.everythingseventual-第66部分

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　　L。T。　would　look　around　at　the　grinning　men；　not　grinning　himself；　but　he'd　give　his　eyes　that　knowing；　long…suffering　roll；　and　they'd　laugh　again；　in　anticipation。　Me　too；　likely　as　not；　in　spite　of　what　I　knew　about　the　Axe　Man。
　　'I　haven't　ever　been　hated　before；'　he'd　say；　'not　by　man　or　beast；　and　it　unsettled　me　a　lot。　It　unsettled　me　bigtime。　I　tried　to　make　friends　with　Frank…first　for　my　sake；　then　for　the　sake　of　her　that　gave　him　to　me…but　it　didn't　work。　For　all　I　know；　he　might've　tried　to　make　friends　with　me　。　。　。　with　a　dog；　who　can　tell？　If　he　did；　it　didn't　work　for　him；　either。　Since　then　I've　read…in　〃Dear　Abby；〃　I　think　it　was…that　a　pet　is　just　about　the　worst　present　you　can　give　a　person；　and　I　agree。　I　mean；　even　if　you　like　the　animal　and　the　animal　likes　you；　think　about　what　that　kind　of　gift　says。　〃Say；　darling；　I'm　giving　you　this　wonderful　present；　it's　a　machine　that　eats　at　one　end　and　shits　out　the　other；　it's　going　to　run　for　fifteen　years；　give　or　take；　merry　fucking　Christmas。〃　But　that's　the　kind　of　thing　you　only　think　about　after；　more　often　than　not。　You　know　what　I　mean？
　　'I　think　we　did　try　to　do　our　best；　Frank　and　I。　After　all；　even　though　we　hated　each　other's　guts；　we　both　loved　Lulubelle。　That's　why；　I　think；　that　although　he'd　sometimes　growl　at　me　if　I　sat　down　next　to　her　on　the　couch　during　Murphy　Brown　or　a　movie　or　something；　he　never　actually　bit。　Still；　it　used　to　drive　me　crazy。　Just　the　fucking　nerve　of　it；　that　little　bag　of　hair　and　eyes　daring　to　growl　at　me。
　　'　〃Listen　to　him；〃　I'd　say；　〃he's　growling　at　me。〃
　　'She'd　stroke　his　head　the　way　she　hardly　ever　stroked　mine；　unless　she'd　had　a　few；　and　say　it　was　really　just　a　dog's　version　of　purring。　That　he　was　just　happy　to　be　with　us；　having　a　quiet　evening　at　home。　I'll　tell　you　something；　though；　I　never　tried　patting　him　when　she　wasn't　around。　I'd　feed　him　sometimes；　and　I　never　gave　him　a　kick　（although　I　was　tempted　a　few　times；　I'd　be　a　liar　if　I　said　different）；　but　I　never　tried　patting　him。　I　think　he　would　have　snapped　at　me；　and　then　we　would　have　gotten　into　it。　Like　two　guys　living　with　the　same　pretty　girl；　almost。　Ménage　à　trois　is　what　they　call　it　in　the　Penthouse　〃Forum〃。　Both　of　us　love　her　and　she　loves　both　of　us；　but　as　time　goes　by；　I　start　realizing　that　the　scales　are　tipping　and　she's　starting　to　love　Frank　a　little　more　than　me。　Maybe　because　Frank　never　talks　back　and　never　pukes　in　her　slippers　and　with　Frank　the　goddam　toilet　ring　is　never　an　issue；　because　he　goes　outside。　Unless；　that　is；　I　forget　and　leave　a　pair　of　my　shorts　in　the　corner　or　under　the　bed。'
　　At　this　point　L。T。　would　likely　finish　off　the　iced　coffee　in　his　Thermos；　crack　his　knuckles；　or　both。　It　was　his　way　of　saying　the　first　act　was　over　and　Act　Two　was　about　to　mence。
　　'So　then　one　day；　a　Saturday；　Lulu　and　I　are　out　to　the　mall。　Just　walking　around；　like　people　do。　You　know。　And　we　go　by　Pet　Notions；　up　by　J。C。　Penney；　and　there's　a　whole　crowd　of　people　in　front　of　the　display　window。　〃Oh；　let's　see；〃　Lulu　says；　so　we　go　over　and　work　our　way　to　the　front。
　　'It's　a　fake　tree　with　bare　branches　and　fake　grass…AstroTurf…all　around　it。　And　there　are　these　Siamese　kittens；　half　a　dozen　of　them　chasing　each　other　around；　climbing　the　tree；　batting　each　other's　ears。
　　'　〃Oh　ain'　dey　jus'　da　key…youtes　ones！〃　Lulu　says。　〃Oh　ain't　dey　jus'　the　key…youtest　wittle　babies！　Look；　honey；　look！〃
　　'　〃I'm　lookin'；〃　I　says；　and　what　I'm　thinking　is　that　I　just　found　what　I　wanted　to　get　Lulu　for　our　anniversary。　And　that　was　a　relief。　I　wanted　it　to　be　something　extra　special；　something　that　would　really　bowl　her　over；　because　things　had　been　quite　a　bit　short　of　great　between　us　during　the　last　year。　I　thought　about　Frank；　but　I　wasn't　too　worried　about　him；　cats　and　dogs　always　fight　in　the　cartoons；　but　in　real　life　they　usually　get　along；　that's　been　my　experience。　They　usually　get　along　better　than　people　do。　Especially　when　it's　cold　outside。
　　'To　make　a　long　story　just　a　little　bit　shorter；　I　bought　one　of　them　and　gave　it　to　her　on　our　anniversary。　Got　it　a　velvet　collar；　and　tucked　a　little　card　under　it。　〃HELLO；　I　am　LUCY！〃　the　card　said。　〃I　e　with　love　from　L。T。！　Happy　second　anniversary！〃
　　'You　probably　know　what　I'm　going　to　tell　you　now；　don't　you？　Sure。　It　was　just　like　goddarn　Frank　the　terrier　all　over　again；　only　in　reverse。　At　first　I　was　as　happy　as　a　pig　in　shit　with　Frank；　and　Lulubelle　was　as　happy　as　a　pig　in　shit　with　Lucy　at　first。　Held　her　up　over　her　head；　talking　that　baby…talk　to　her；　〃Oh　yookit　you；　oh　yookit　my　wittle　pwecious；　she　so　key…yout；〃　and　so　on　and　so　on　。　。　。　until　Lucy　let　out　a　yowl　and　batted　at　the　end　of　Lulubelle's　nose。　With　her　claws　out；　too。　Then　she　ran　away　and　hid　under　the　kitchen　table。　Lulu　laughed　it　off；　like　it　was　the　funniest　thing　she'd　ever　had　happen　to　her；　and　as　key…yout　as　anything　else　a　little　kitten　might　do；　but　I　could　see　she　was　miffed。
　　'Right　then　Frank　came　in。　He'd　been　sleeping　up　in　our　room…at　the　foot　of　her　side　of　the　bed…but　Lulu'd　let　out　a　little　shriek　when　the　kitten　batted　her　nose；　so　he　came　down　to　see　what　the　fuss　was　about。
　　'He　spotted　Lucy　under　the　table　right　away　and　walked　toward　heir；　sniffing　the　linoleum　where　she'd　been。
　　'　〃Stop　them；　honey；　stop　them；　L。T。；　they're　going　to　get　into　it；〃　Lulubelle　says。　〃Frank'll　kill　her。〃
　　'　〃Just　let　them　alone　a　minute；〃　I　says。　〃See　what　happens。〃
　　Lucy　humped　up　her　back　the　way　cats　do；　but　stood　her　ground　and　watched　him　e。　Lulu　started　forward；　wanting　to　get　in　between　them　in　spite　of　what　I'd　said　（listening　up　wasn't　exactly　one　of　Lulu's　strong　points）；　but　I　took　her　wrist　and　held　her　back。　It's　best　to　let　them　work　it　out　between　them；　if　you　can。　Always　best。　It's　quicker。
　　'Well；　Frank　got　to　the　edge　of　the　table；　poked　his　nose　under；　and　started　this　low　rumbling　way　back　in　his　throat。　〃Let　me　go；　L。T。　I　got　to　get　her；〃　Lulubelle　says；　〃Frank's　growling　at　her。〃
　　'　〃No；　he's　not；〃　I　say；　〃he's　just　purring。　I　recognize　it　from　all　the　times　he's　purred　at　me。〃
　　'She　gave　me　a　look　that　would　just　about　have　boiled　water；　but　didn't　say　anything。　The　only　times　in　the　three　years　we　were　married　that　I　got　the　last　word；　it　was　always　about　Frank　and　Screwlucy。　Strange　but　true。　Any　other　subject；　Lulu　could　talk　rings　around　me。　But　when　it　came　to　the　pets；　it　seemed　she　was　always　fresh　out　of　ebacks。　Used　to　drive　her　crazy。
　　'Frank　poked　his　head　under　the　table　a　little　farther；　and　Lucy　batted　his　nose　the　way　she'd　batted　Lulubelle's…only　when　she　batted　Frank；　she　did　it　without　popping　her　claws。　I　had　an　idea　Frank　would　go　for　her；　but　he　didn't。　He　just　kind　of　whoofed　and　turned　away。　Not　scared；　more　like　he's　thinking；　〃Oh；　okay；　so　that's　what　that's　about。〃　Went　back　into　the　living　room　and　laid　down　in　front　of　the　TV。
　　'And　that　was　all　the　confrontation　there　ever　was　between　them。　They　divvied　up　the　territory　pretty　much　the　way　that　Lulu　and　I　divvied　it　up　that　last　year　we　spent　together；　when　things　were　getting　bad；　the　bedroom　belonged　to　Frank　and　Lulu；　the　kitchen　belonged　to　me　and　Lucy…only　by　Christmas；　Lulubelle　was　calling　her　Screwlucy…and　the　living　room　was　neutral　territory。　The　four　of　us　spent　a　lot　of　evenings　there　that　last　year；　Screwlucy　on　my　lap；　Frank　with　his　muzzle　on　Lulu's　shoe；　us　humans　on　the　couch；　Lulubelle　reading　a　book　and　me　watching　Wheel　of　Fortune　or　Lifestyles　of　the　Rich　and　Famous；　which　Lulubelle　always　called　Lifestyles　of　the　Rich　and　Topless。
　　'The　cat　wouldn't　have　a　thing　to　do　with　her；　not　from　day　one。　Frank；　every　now　and　then　you　could　get　the　idea　Frank　was　at　least　trying　to　get　along　with　me。　His　nature　would　always　get　the　better　of　him　in　the　end　and　he'd　chew　up　one　of　my　sneakers　or　take　another　leak　on　my　underwear；　but　every　now　and　then　it　did　seem　like　he　was　putting　forth　an　effort。　Lap　my　hand；　maybe　give　me　a　grin。　Usually　if　I　had　a　plate　of　something　he　wanted　a　bite　of；　though。
　　'Cats　are　different；　though。　A　cat　won't　curry　favor　even　if　it's　in　their　best　interests　to　do