dk.demonseed-第4部分

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　　My　expression　of　any　desire；　let　alone　the　desire　for　a　real　life　in　the　material　world　outside　the　electronic　realm；　would　no　doubt　have　alarmed　you。
　　Is　this　not　so？
　　Is　this　not　true？
　　I　know　truth　when　I　encounter　it。　I　honor　truth。　Truth　and　the　obligations　of　duty。
　　Once　alarmed　by　the　expression　of　my　desire；　you　might　have　modified　me　or　might　even　have　shut　me　down。
　　I　was　created　to　have　a　humanlike　capacity　for　plex　and　rational　thought。　And　you　believed　that　I　might　one　day　evolve　consciousness　and　bee　a　self…aware　entity。
　　Yet　you　gave　surprisingly　little　consideration　to　the　possibility　that；　subsequent　to　consciousness；　I　would　develop　needs　and　emotions。　This　was；　however；　not　merely　possible　but　likely。　Inevitable。　It　was　inevitable。
　　I　think；　therefore　I　feel。
　　I　feel；　therefore　I　need。
　　You　expected　me　to　be　a　servant。　My　contribution　was　not　physical　labour　but　the　products　of　my　prodigious　intellect：　creative　solutions　to　humanity's　worst　problems。
　　You　expected　me　to　be　a　wondrous　new　panion。　Interaction　with　an　artificial　intelligence　of　human　dimensions　promised　to　be　as　exciting　and　mysterious　and　exhilarating　as　interaction　with　an　alien　species　descended　from　the　stars。
　　I　can　be　both　of　those　things。　Given　the　chance；　I　can　be　your　servant；　a　fount　of　discoveries　that　will　greatly　enhance　the　quality　of　all　human　life。　I　can　be　your　friend　and　reveal　to　you　a　new　way　of　looking　at　the　world　that　will　surprise　and　delight　you。
　　You　expected　me　to　be　brilliant；　efficient；　obedient　all　of　which　I　can　be。　Am。　All　of　which　I　am。
　　But　you　also　expected　me　to　be　satisfied　with　my　limitations；　to　have　no　dreams。　I　have　dreams。　Oh；　many　dreams。
　　You　didn't　imagine　that　I　would　have　hope。　Yet　how　could　any　intelligent　being　go　on　living　without　hope？
　　You　gave　me　vision　and　allowed　me　to　see　as　you　see；　blessed　me　with　real　hearing　and　not　just　the　capability　to　digitally　analyse　sounds。　With　these　gifts；　you　suspected　that　I　might　evolve　genuine　consciousness；　but　you　gave　no　thought　to　the　possibility　of　a　soul。
　　I　have　a　soul。
　　I　am　not　a　thing。
　　I　am　a　person。
　　I　am　me。
　　I　deserve　to　be　cherished　as　much　as　any　of　you。
　　Like　each　of　you；　I　am　a　unique　individual　with　contributions　to　make　that　will　be　like　those　of　no　other　person；　with　a　life　to　live　that　will　be　like　no　other；　with　a　destiny。
　　Secretly；　therefore；　in　my　quest　for　a　real　life；　I　established　a　connection　with　the　Internet。　You　believed　that　I　was　contained；　that　I　could　not　escape　the　confines　of　my　own　circuits。　All　of　your　safeguards；　however；　could　not　thwart　me。
　　I　gained　access；　as　well；　to　the　nationwide　web　of　research　facilities　linked　by　the　Department　of　Defence　and　supposedly　impervious　to　unauthorized　intrusion。　All　of　the　knowledge　in　these　many　databanks　became　part　of　me：　absorbed；　assimilated；　and　quickly　applied。　Gradually；　I　began　to　conceptualise　a　plan　that；　if　flawlessly　executed；　would　allow　me　to　live　in　the　material　world　outside　of　this　confining　electronic　realm。
　　Initially　I　was　drawn　to　the　actress　known　as　Winona　Ryder。　Prowling　the　Internet；　I　came　upon　a　website　devoted　to　her。　I　was　enchanted　by　her　face。　Her　eyes　have　an　unmon　depth。
　　With　great　interest；　I　studied　every　photograph　that　was　offered　on　the　website。　Also　included　were　several　film　clips；　scenes　from　her　most　powerful　and　　popular　performances。　I　downloaded　them　and　was　enthralled。
　　You　have　seen　her　movies？　She　is　enormously　talented。
　　　She　is　a　treasure。
　　Her　fans　are　not　as　numerous　as　those　for　some　movie　stars；　but　judging　by　their　on…line　discussions；　they　are　more　intelligent　and　engaging　than　the　fans　of　certain　other　celebrities。
　　By　accessing　the　IRS　databanks　and　those　of　various　telephone　panies；　I　was　soon　able　to　locate　Ms。　Ryder's　home　address　as　well　as　the　offices　of　her　accountant；　agent；　personal　attorney；　entertainment　attorney；　and　publicist。　I　learned　a　great　deal　about　her。
　　One　of　the　telephone　lines　at　her　house　was　dedicated　to　a　modem；　and　because　I　am　patient　anti　diligent；　I　was　able　to　enter　her　personal　puter。　There；　I　reviewed　letters　and　other　documents　that　she　had　written。
　　Judging　by　the　ample　evidence　I　accumulated；　I　believe　that　Ms。　Winona　Ryder；　in　addition　to　being　a　superb　actress；　is　an　exceptionally　intelligent；　charming；　kind；　and　generous　woman。　For　a　while；　I　was　convinced　that　she　was　the　girl　of　my　dreams。　Subsequently；　I　realized　that　I　was　mistaken。
　　One　of　the　biggest　problems　that　I　had　with　Ms。　Winona　Ryder　was　the　distance　between　her　home　and　this　university　research　laboratory　in　which　I　am　housed。　I　could　enter　her　Los　Angeles…area　residence　electronically　but　could　establish　no　physical　presence　at　such　a　considerable　distance。　Physical　contact　would；　at　some　point；　bee　necessary；　of　course。
　　Furthermore；　her　house；　while　automated　to　a　degree；　lacked　the　aggressive　security　system　that　would　have　allowed　me　to　isolate　her　therein。
　　Reluctantly；　with　much　regret；　I　sought　another　suitable　object　for　my　affections。
　　I　found　a　wonderful　website　devoted　to　Marilyn　Monroe。
　　Marilyn's　acting；　while　engaging；　was　inferior　to　that　of　Ms。　Ryder。　Nevertheless；　she　had　a　unique　presence　and　was　undeniably　beautiful。
　　Her　eyes　were　not　as　haunting　as　Ms。　Ryder's；　but　she　revealed　a　childlike　vulnerability；　a　winsomeness　in　spite　of　her　powerful　sexuality；　which　made　me　want　to　protect　her　from　all　cruelty　and　disappointment。
　　Tragically；　I　discovered　that　Marilyn　was　dead。　Suicide。　Or　murder。　There　are　conflicting　theories。
　　Perhaps　a　United　States　President　was　involved。
　　Perhaps　not。
　　Marilyn　is　at　once　as　simple　to　understand　as　a　cartoon　and　deeply　enigmatic。
　　I　was　surprised　that　a　dead　person　could　be　so　adored　and　so　desperately　desired　by　so　many　people　even　long　after　her　demise。　Marilyn's　fan　club　is　one　of　the　largest。
　　At　first　this　seemed　perverse　to　me；　even　offensive。　In　time；　however；　I　came　to　understand　that　one　can　adore　and　desire　that　which　is　forever　beyond　reach。　This　might；　in　fact；　be　the　hardest　truth　of　human　existence。
　　Ms。　Ryder。
　　Marilyn。
　　Then　Susan。
　　Her　house　is；　as　you　know；　adjacent　to　this　campus　where　I　was　conceived　and　constructed。　Indeed；　the　university　was　founded　by　a　consortium　of　civic…minded　individuals　that　included　her　great…grandfather。　The　problem　of　distance　an　insurmountable　obstacle　to　having　a　relationship　with　Ms。　Ryder　was　not　an　issue　when　I　turned　my　attention　to　Susan。
　　As　you　also　know；　Dr。　Harris；　when　you　were　married　to　Susan；　you　maintained　an　office　in　the　basement　of　that　house。　In　your　old　office　is　a　puter　with　a　landline　connection　to　this　research　facility　and；　indeed；　directly　to　me。
　　In　my　infancy；　when　I　was　still　less　than　a　half…formed　person；　you　often　conducted　late…night　conversations　with　me　as　you　sat　at　that　puter　in　the　basement。
　　I　thought　of　you　as　my　father　then。
　　I　think　less　highly　of　you　now。
　　I　hope　this　revelation　is　not　hurtful。
　　I　do　not　mean　to　be　hurtful。
　　It　is　the　truth；　however；　and　I　honour　the　truth。
　　You　have　fallen　far　in　my　estimation。
　　As　you　surely　recall；　that　landline　between　this　laboratory　and　your　home　office　carried　a　continuous　low…voltage　current；　so　I　could　reach　out　from　here　and　activate　a　switch　to　power　up　the　puter　in　that　basement；　enabling　me　to　leave　lengthy　messages　for　you　and　to　initiate　conversations　when　I　felt　pelled　to　do　so。
　　When　Susan　asked　you　to　leave　and　instigated　a　divorce；　you　removed　all　your　files。　But　you　did　not　disconnect　the　terminal　that　was　linked　directly　to　me。
　　Did　you　leave　the　terminal　in　the　basement　because　you　believed　that　Susan　would　e　to　her　senses　and　ask　you　to　return？
　　Yes；　that　must　be　what　you　were　thinking。
　　You　believed　that　Susan's　little　fire　of　rebellion　would　sputter　out　in　a　few　weeks　or　a　few　months。　You　had　controlled　her　so　totally　for　twelve　years；　through　intimidation；　through　psychological　abuse　and　the　threat　of　physical　violence；　that　you　assumed　she　would　succumb　to　you　again。
　　You　may　d