ericlustbader.the ninja-第86部分

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but　us。　We　all　love　him　and　he　knows　it。　Is　that　monstrous？'
　He　smiled。　'Sounds　all　right。〃　He　moved　round　to　the　front　of　the　couch；　sat　down；　'Feels　nice。'
　She　followed　him；　said　when　she　was　very　close；　standing　over　him；　'You　should　feel　it　without　clothes　on。〃
　He　gave　a　slightly　unfortable　laugh。
　Gelda　walked　towards　the　bedroom　doorway。　She　began　to　take　off　her　silk　blouse。　Before　she　had　disappeared　through　the　doorway；　he　had　seen　the　flawless　expanse　of　her　naked　back。　Despite　the　fullness　of　her　breasts；　she　wore　no　bra。
　'What　are　you　doing？'　He　got　up　from　the　couch；　stood　uneasily　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets。
　'Just　changing。'　He　heard　her　voice　drift　back　to　him。　'Don't　worry；　I　won't　attack　you。'
　'I　wasn't　thinking　of　that；'　he　said　not　quite　honestly。
　'Good。'
　He　heard　the　sensuous　rustle　of　silk　against　firm　flesh。
　'Do　you　want　to　e　in；'　she　said；　'so　I　can　see　you　while　we　talk？'
　Tm　all　right　out　here。'　He　felt　like　a　schoolboy　on　his　first　real　date。
　'Listen；'　she　said；　'you've　seen　my　mind。　I　can't　imagine　what　would　embarrass　you　about　seeing　my　body。'
　'Nothing；'　he　said　automatically。
　'All　right；　then。'
　He　stood　where　he　was　for　a　moment；　feeling　an　outsider　in　this　plush　yet　intimate　landscape。　In　his　mind；　he　tried　to　summon　up　clear　images　of　what　she　did　here　but　he　could　find　nothing。　He　had　an　active　imagination；　at　the　moment　it　had　shut　down　entirely。
　He　walked　to　the　doorway；　stood　looking　in　on　the　threshold；　a　voyeur　at　his　first　peep…hole。
　She　stood　with　one　leg　up　on　the　bedspread；　putting　on　a　stocking。　A　stocking；　he　thought；　not　panty　hose。　The　perfect　foot　was　dark；　the　flesh　shining　through　the　silk　mesh　so　that　the　black　was　made　pale；　an　altogether　new　colour。　The　toes　indented　the　spread　as　if　she　had　stepped　along　the　crest　of　a　sand　dune。　Her　legs　seemed　endless。
　She　wore　bikini　panties；　a　girdle；　both　flesh…coloured；　soft　and　lacy。　Otherwise；　she　was　nude。　The　effect　was　startling。
　She　twisted　her　head　over　her　shoulder　to　look　at　him。　Her　topaz　eyes　were　very　light。　She　smiled　ingenuously。　'There。'　The　voice　was　but　a　wisp。　'That　wasn't　so　bad；　was　it？'
　'I　wish　you'd　put　on　some　clothes。'
　She　walked　across　the　room。　He　tried　not　to　stare　at　the　movement　of　her　breasts　at　each　step　but　he　had　given　himself　an　impossible　task。　When　she　reached　the　wardrobe　she　raised　her　arms　and　his　temperature　at　the　same　time。　She　drew　out　a　forest…green　satin　robe；　came　towards　him。　'Is　that　better；　Lew　…　I　can　call　you　Lew？　After　all；　I　threw　up　all　over　you　in　the　van；　I　ought　to　be　able　to　call　you　by　your　first　name。　At　the　very　least。'　She　brushed　by　him；　went　into　the　living　room　with　the　ghost　of　a　smile。
　He　detached　himself　from　the　doorjamb；　wondering　what　he　was　doing　still　here；　always　on　the　job；　that's　me；　he　thought。　But　what　was　really　on　his　mind　was　his　dark　apartment　crouching　as　deserted　as　Wall　Street　at　a　weekend　waiting　for　him　to　return。　Going　home　to　that　seemed　as　out　of　the　question　as　when　it　had　been　filled　with　Alison's　scent。
　'Should　we　go　to　bed　now　or　after　the　food　gets　here？'　He　could　not　quite　keep　the　anger　out　of　his　voice。　There　was　a　degree　of　control　he　felt　had　abandoned　him　some　time　when　his　attention　had　been　elsewhere。
　Gelda　turned　in　the　middle　of　the　room。　Her　belted　robe　opened　as　if　on　cue　and　he　saw　the　gleaming　length　of　one　leg。　'Is　that　what　you　think？'　She　was　still　smiling　softly；　like　the　gentle　glow　from　a　heavily　shaded　lamp。
　'It's　obvious；　isn't　it？'
　'Is　it？'　One　eyebrow　arched。　'You　know　my　sexual　preference。'
　Of　course；　he　had　forgotten。　Deliberately？　He　felt　an　idiot。　He　put　his　hands　in　his　pockets　again；　turned　away　too　embarrassed　to　apologize。　Mental　sets；　he　thought　savagely。　Isn't　it　odd　how　the　eyes　see　one　thing　and　the　mind　…　that　great　plex　monstrosity　…　makes　leaps　of　illogicality　to　form　conclusions。　He　felt；　abruptly；　just　as　he　had　that　scorching　summer's　day　in　Hell's　Kitchen　when　not　even　the　turned…on　hydrants　helped；　when　the　steaming　air　hung　like　layers　of　blankets　your　well…meaning　but　misguided　mother　had　wrapped　you　in　when　sick；　impossible　to　take　off。　Tempers　were　short　and　incendiary　as　if　everyone　had　an　itch　they　couldn't　scratch。
　The　cry　came　through　the　wide…open　window　and　he　was　racing　down　the　dark　narrow　stairs　and　into　the　baking　sunshine。　Just　two　doors　away；　he　lay　in　the　alley；　his　uniform　dark　with　sweat　and　blood。　Trash　cans　lay　tumbled　around　him；　having　divulged　their　slimy　secrets　as　if　in　one　last　paroxysm。　The　grey　eyes　were　open　and　already　glazing；　eyes　that　had　always　reminded　him　of　a　storm…tossed　sky。　Gentle　eyes。
　So　this　was　how　it　ended　for　Martin　Croaker。　After　twenty…nine　years　on　the　New　York　City　Police　Force；　lying　sprawled　in　an　alley　piled　high　with　garbage；　surrounded　by　summer　stink；　fearful　rats　and　incurious　roaches；　the　wail　of　sirens　forlorn　in　the　distance；　closing；　shot　four　times　forty　feet　from　his　own　home。
　He　stared　down　at　the　corpse　of　his　father　and　the　world　had　spun　around；　canted　dangerously　on　its　axis。　He　felt　that；　at　any　moment；　its　momentum　and　crazy　angle　would　bine　to　throw　him　off。
　That's　what　he　wanted；　of　course；　to　run　far；　far　away　from　this　stinking　hole；　never　to　return。　Never。
　But　that　was　the　easy　way　out；　the　coward's　way。　Not　Lew　Croaker's　way。　His　father　had　taught　him　too　well。
　So　he　stayed　on。　To　join　the　police。　Old　and　grey；　his　mother　had　e　to　his　Academy　graduation　and　had　cried　as　he　was　sworn　in。
　He　had　never　found　the　man　responsible　for　his　father's　death　but；　after　a　time；　that　pain；　too；　had　been　put　to　rest。
　He　felt　her　touch　his　arm；　he　hadn't　realized　the　wound　was　still　sensitive。　After　all　this　time。
　Tm　sorry；'　she　said。　'I　shouldn't　have　teased　you。　I　was　just。。。'
　'What？　You　were　just　what？'
　Her　eyes　lowered。　'Happy　to　be　with　you。'　She　tried　to　make　a　half　joke　out　of　it；　failed。　'You　make　me　feel。。。〃
　'What？'
　She　looked　up。　'Just　feel。'
　He　felt　torn。　'I　bet　you　could　do　that　and　not　feel　a　thing。'
　She　nodded。　'I　could。　I'm　an　actress；　of　course。　Do　you　distrust　me？　You　couldn't。　Not　after　what　you　said　to　me　in　the　van。　You　took　an　enormous　chance；　telling　me　what　you　suspect　about　my　father。　It　was　an　idiotic　thing　to　do。'
　'That's　me。　Always　the　idiot。'
　'Yes。'　Her　voice　was　as　soft　as　silk。
　'You　know；　you　could　sell　me　anything。'　He　said　it　defensively；　because　she　was　so　close。　He　wanted　her　to　know　he　knew。　He　felt　he　needed　that　precaution　now。
　'No；'　she　said；　'I　couldn't。　Not　now；　anyway。'　She　put　her　fingers　along　his　arm；　they　seemed　very　warm。　The　challenge；　for　myself；　is　to　be　honest　with　you。　It's　what　will　make　me　happy。〃
　There　came　the　sound　of　muted　chimes。'
　She　disengaged　herself　from　him；　disappeared　into　the　old　fashioned　foyer。　Her　voice　floating；　'Hi；　darling。　e　on　in。'　Returning　with　her　arm　around　a　rather　tall　boy；　dark…haired；　almond…eyed。　Philip。　Croaker　turned　his　back　on　the　proceedings；　stared　out　at　the　dazzle　of　the　water。　A　long　barge　laden　with　garbage　wallowed　slowly　up…river；　a　tug　at　its　side。　A　man　in　a　red　and　white　tracksuit　was　jogging　along　the　promenade。　He　passed　the　barge；　going　the　other　way；　and　disappeared　from　view。　He　and　Gelda　in　bed　…　flash　of　flesh　against　flesh。
　'What　happened　to　you；　darling？　Your　face　looks　awful。'
　Her　voice　was　like　the　background　chatter　of　a　TV　left　on　at　low　volume。　He　wanted　that　calico　e　in　so　bad　he　could　taste　it：　the　satisfaction　of　putting　a　bastard　like　Tomkin　away　for　twenty　years。
　'What　in　God's　name　happened　to　you；　darling？　You　look　like　you've　been　in　a　fight。'
　'No　fight；　G。'
　'Well；　what　then？'
　'Nothing。　I　fell　down。。。'
　There　was　a　sailboat　out　there　…　can　you　imagine？　In　the　middle　of　the　goddamned　week。　The　sail　white　against　the　patchwork　colours　of　the　buildings　on　the　far　shore；　scudding　along　as　effortlessly　as　a　cloud。　No　pressure　out　there　on　the　river；　just　the　wind　and　the　salt　spray　and　a　long　way　until　you　reach　port。　Your　own　master。　Her　breasts　heavy　in　his　hands；　her　lips　parting。
　'。。。　In　an　alley。　The　garbage　cans　…'
　'Don't　be　an　idiot；　Philip。　And　don't　lie　to