hr.thecarpetbaggers-第158部分

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eyond　it　now。　I　was　lying　on　a　table　in　a　white　room　and　beside　me　was　a　man　in　a　white　gown　and　a　white　skullcap。　The　light　came　from　the　reflection　in　a　small；　round　mirror　that　he　wore　over　his　eye　as　he　looked　down　at　me。　I　could　see　on　his　face　the　tiny　black　hairs　that　the　razor　had　missed。　His　lips　were　grim　and　tight。
　〃My　God！〃　The　voice　came　from　behind　him。　〃His　face　is　a　mess。　There　must　be　a　hundred　pieces　of　glass　in　it。〃
　My　eyes　flickered　up　and　saw　the　second　man　as　the　first　turned　toward　him。　〃Shut　up；　you　fool！　Can't　you　see　he's　awake？〃
　I　began　to　raise　my　head　but　a　light；　quick　hand　was　on　my　shoulder；　pressing　me　back；　and　then　her　face　was　there。　Her　face；　looking　down　at　me　with　a　mercy　and　passion　that　mine　had　never　shown。
　〃Jennie！〃
　Her　hand　pressed　against　my　shoulder。　She　looked　up　at　someone　over　my　head。　〃Call　Dr。　Rosa　Strassmer　at　Los　Angeles　General　or　the　Colton　Sanitarium　in　Santa　Monica。　Tell　her　Jonas　Cord　has　been　in　a　bad　accident　and　to　e　right　away。〃
　〃Yes；　Sister　Thomas。〃　It　was　a　young　girl's　voice　and　it　came　from　behind　me。　I　heard　footsteps　moving　away。
　The　pain　was　ing　back　into　my　side　and　leg　again　and　I　gritted　my　teeth。　I　could　feel　it　forcing　the　tears　into　my　eyes。　I　closed　them　for　a　moment；　then　opened　them　and　looked　up　at　her。　〃Jennie！〃　I　whispered。　〃Jennie；　I'm　sorry！〃
　〃It's　all　right；　Jonas；〃　she　whispered　back。　Her　hands　went　under　the　sheet　that　covered　me。　I　felt　a　sharp　sting　in　my　arm。　〃Don't　talk。　Everything's　all　right　now。〃
　I　smiled　gratefully　and　went　back　to　sleep；　wondering　vaguely　why　Jennie　was　wearing　that　funny　white　veil　over　her　beautiful　hair。
　
　6
　
　FROM　OUTSIDE　MY　WINDOWS；　FROM　THE　STREETS；　BRIGHT　NOW　WITH　THE　MORNING　SUN；　STILL　CAME　THE　SOUNDS　OF　CELEBRATION。　Even　this　usually　staid　and　quiet　part　of　Hillcrest　Drive　skirting　Mercy　Hospital　was　filled　with　happy　noises　and　throngs　of　people。　From　the　Naval　Station　across　the　city　of　San　Diego　came　the　occasional　triumphant　blast　of　a　ship's　horn。　It　had　been　like　this　all　through　the　night；　starting　early　the　evening　before；　when　the　news　came。　Japan　had　surrendered。　The　war　was　over。
　I　knew　now　what　Otto　Strassmer　had　been　trying　to　tell　me。　I　knew　now　of　the　miracle　in　the　desert。　From　the　newspapers　and　from　the　radio　beside　my　bed。　They　had　all　told　the　story　of　the　tiny　container　of　atoms　that　had　brought　mankind　to　the　gates　of　heaven。　Or　hell。　I　shifted　in　my　bed　to　find　another　position　of　fort；　as　the　pulleys　that　suspended　my　leg　in　traction　squeaked；　adding　their　mouselike　sound　to　the　others。
　I　had　been　lucky；　one　of　the　nurses　told　me。　Lucky。　My　right　leg　had　been　broken　in　three　places；　my　right　hip　in　another；　and　several　ribs　had　been　crushed。　Yet　I　still　looked　out　at　the　world；　from　behind　the　layer　of　thick　bandages　which　covered　all　of　my　face；　except　the　slits　for　my　eyes；　nose　and　mouth。　But　I'd　been　lucky。　At　least　I　was　still　alive。
　Not　like　Amos；　who　still　sat　in　the　cabin　of　The　Centurion　as　it　rested　on　the　edge　of　a　shelf　of　sand；　some　four　hundred　odd　feet　beneath　the　surface　of　the　Pacific　Ocean。　Poor　Amos。　The　three　crewmen　had　been　found　unscathed　and　I　was　still　alive；　by　the　grace　of　God　and　the　poor　fishermen　who　found　me　floating　in　the　water　and　brought　me　to　shore；　while　Amos　sat　silent　in　his　watery　tomb；　still　at　the　controls　of　the　plane　he　had　built　and　would　not　let　me　fly　alone。
　I　remembered　the　accountant's　voice　over　the　telephone　from　Los　Angeles　as　he　spoke　consolingly。　〃Don't　worry；　Mr。　Cord。　We　can　write　it　all　off　against　taxes　on　profits。　When　you　apply　the　gross　amount　to　the　normal　tax　of　forty　per　cent　and　the　excess…profits　tax　of　ninety　per　cent；　the　net　loss　to　us　es　to　under　two　million…　〃
　I　had　slammed　down　the　phone；　cutting　him　off。　It　was　all　well　and　good。　But　how　do　you　charge　off　on　a　balance　sheet　the　life　of　a　man　who　was　killed　by　your　greed？　Is　there　an　allowable　deduction　for　death　on　the　ine…tax　returns？　It　was　I　who　had　killed　Amos　and　no　matter　how　many　expenses　I　deducted　from　my　own　soul；　I　could　not　bring　him　back。
　The　door　opened　and　I　looked　up。　Rosa　came　into　the　room；　followed　by　an　intern　and　a　nurse　wheeling　a　small　cart。　She　came　over　to　the　left　side　of　my　bed　and　stood　there；　smiling　down　at　me。　〃Hello；　Jonas。〃
　〃Hello；　Rosa；〃　I　mumbled　through　the　bandages。　〃Is　it　time　to　change　them　again？　I　didn't　expect　you　until　the　day　after　tomorrow。〃
　〃The　war　is　over。〃
　〃Yes；〃　I　said。　〃I　know。〃
　〃And　when　I　got　up　this　morning；　it　was　such　a　beautiful　morning；　I　decided　to　fly　down　here　and　take　off　your　bandages。〃
　I　peered　up　at　her。　〃I　see；〃　I　said。　〃I　always　wondered　where　doctors　got　their　logic。〃
　〃That　isn't　doctor's　logic；　that's　woman's　logic。　I　have　the　advantage　of　having　been　a　woman　long　before　I　became　a　doctor。〃
　I　laughed。　〃I'm　grateful　for　the　logic；　whichever　one　of　you　it　belongs　to。　It　will　be　nice　to　have　the　bandages　off；　even　for　a　little　while。〃
　She　was　still　smiling；　though　her　eyes　were　serious。　〃This　time；　they're　ing　off　for　good；　Jonas。〃
　I　stared　at　her　as　she　picked　up　a　scissors　from　the　cart。　I　reached　up　and　stayed　her　hand。　Suddenly；　I　was　afraid　to　have　her　remove　the　bandages。　I　felt　safe　having　them　wrapped　about　my　face　like　a　cocoon；　shielding　me　from　the　prying　eyes　of　the　world。　〃Is　it　soon　enough？　Will　it　be　all　right？〃
　She　sensed　my　feeling。　〃Your　face　will　be　sore　for　a　while　yet；〃　she　said；　snipping　away　at　the　cocoon。　〃It　will　be　even　sorer　as　the　flesh　and　muscles　take　up　their　work　again。　But　that　will　pass。　We　can't　spend　forever　hiding　behind　a　mask；　can　we？〃
　That　was　the　doctor　talking；　not　the　woman。　I　looked　up　at　her　face　as　she　snipped　and　unwound；　snipped　and　uncovered；　until　all　the　bandage　was　gone　and　I　felt　as　naked　as　a　newborn　baby；　with　a　strange　coolness　on　my　cheeks。　I　tried　to　see　myself　reflected　in　her　eyes　but　they　were　calm　and　expressionless；　impersonal　and　professionally　detached。　I　felt　her　fingers　press　against　my　cheek；　the　flesh　under　my　chin；　smooth　the　hair　back　from　my　temples。　〃Close　your　eyes。〃
　I　closed　them。　I　felt　her　fingers　touch　the　lids　lightly。　〃Open。〃
　I　opened　them。　Her　face　was　still　quiet　and　unrevealing。　〃Smile；〃　she　said。　〃Like　this。〃　She　made　with　a　wide；　humorless　grin　that　was　a　slapstick　parody　of　her　usual　warm　smile。
　I　grinned。　I　grinned　until　the　tiny　pains　that　came　to　my　cheeks　began　to　burn　like　hell。　And　still　I　grinned。
　〃O。K。；〃　she　said；　suddenly　smiling　now。　Really　smiling。　〃You　can　stop　now。〃
　I　stopped　and　stared　up　at　her。　〃How　is　it；　Doc？〃　I　tried　to　keep　it　light。　〃Pretty　horrible？〃
　〃It's　not　bad；〃　she　said　nonmittally。　〃You　were　never　a　raving　beauty；　you　know。〃　She　picked　up　a　mirror　from　the　cart。　〃Here。　See　for　yourself。〃
　I　didn't　look　at　the　mirror。　I　didn't　want　to　see　myself　just　yet。　〃Can　I　have　a　cigarette　first；　Doc？〃
　Silently　she　put　the　mirror　back　on　the　cart　and　took　a　package　of　cigarettes　from　her　coat　pocket。　She　sat　down　on　the　edge　of　my　bed；　put　one　in　her　mouth；　lit　it；　then　passed　it　to　me。　I　could　taste　the　faint　sweetness　of　her　lipstick　as　I　drew　the　smoke　into　me。
　〃You　were　cut　pretty　badly　when　Winthrop　pushed　you　through　that　port。　But　fortunately…　〃
　〃You　knew　about　that？〃　I　asked；　interrupting。　〃About　Amos；　I　mean。　How　did　you　find　out？〃
　〃From　you。　While　you　were　under　the　anesthetic。　We　kept　getting　the　story　in　fragments；　along　with　the　fragments　of　glass　we　were　picking　out　of　your　face。　Fortunately；　none　of　your　important　facial　muscles　were　severely　damaged。　It　was　largely　a　matter　of　surface　lesions。　We　were　able　to　make　the　necessary　skin　grafts　quickly。　And　successfully；　I　might　add。〃
　I　held　out　my　hand。　〃I'll　take　the　mirror　now；　Doc。〃
　She　took　my　cigarette　and　handed　me　the　mirror。　I　raised　it　and　when　I　looked　into　it；　I　felt　a　chill　go　through　me。
　〃Doc；〃　I　said　hoarsely。　〃I　look　exactly　like　my　father！〃
　She　took　the　mirror　from　my　hand　and　I　looked　up　at　her。　She　was　smiling。　〃Do　you；　Jonas？　But　that's　the　way　you've　always　looked。〃
　
　Later　that　morning；　Robair　brought　me　the　papers。　They　were　filled　with　the　story　of　Japan's　capitulation。　I　glanced　at　them