hr.thecarpetbaggers-第76部分

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　〃Don't　worry；〃　his　mother　said　confidently。　〃I'll　take　care　of　everything。〃
　He　could　feel　a　great　weight　lifting　from　his　shoulders。　Once　again；　his　mother　had　spoken　the　magic　words。　But　when　he　stood　in　the　street　in　front　of　the　house　and　saw　Rina's　car　in　the　driveway；　he　was　afraid　to　go　in。　There　would　only　be　another　scene　and　he　wasn't　up　to　it。　He　had　no　more　strength。
　He　looked　at　his　wrist　watch。　It　was　almost　eleven　o'clock。　She　would　be　leaving　soon　because　she　had　a　luncheon　date　at　the　studio。　He　walked　back　down　the　hill　to　the　cocktail　lounge　just　off　the　corner　of　Sunset。　He　would　have　a　drink　while　he　waited。　He　would　be　able　to　see　her　car　as　it　came　down　the　hill。
　The　cocktail　lounge　was　dark　as　he　entered；　the　chairs　still　up　on　the　tables。　The　bar　was　open；　however；　and　there　was　already　a　customer　seated　with　a　glass　of　beer　in　front　of　him。　Claude　climbed　up　on　a　stool　near　the　window；　from　which　he　could　watch　the　street。
　He　shivered　slightly。　It　had　begun　to　drizzle　as　he　came　down　the　hill　and　was　turning　into　one　of　those　nasty；　chilly　afternoons　peculiarly　indigenous　to　sunny　California。　He　shivered　again。　He　hoped　he　wasn't　catching　cold。　〃Whisky　and　warm　water；〃　he　said　to　the　bartender；　remembering　the　drink　his　mother　always　gave　him　at　the　first　sign　of　a　cold。
　The　bartender　looked　at　him　peculiarly。　〃Warm　water？〃
　Claude　nodded。　〃Yes；　please。〃　He　looked　up　and　noticed　that　the　lone　customer　was　also　staring　at　him　…　a　young　man　in　a　yellow　lumber　jacket。　〃And　a　slice　of　lemon；　if　you　have　it；〃　he　called　after　the　bartender。
　Claude　picked　up　the　small　steaming　mug。　He　sipped　at　it　and　felt　its　warmth　creep　down　toward　his　stomach。　He　turned　and　looked　out　the　window。　It　was　really　raining　now。　He　picked　up　the　mug　again　and　to　his　surprise；　it　was　empty。　He　decided　to　have　another。　There　was　time。　He　knew　exactly　what　Rina　was　doing　right　now。　He　gestured　to　the　bartender。
　Right　at　this　moment；　she　was　seated　in　front　of　her　dressing　table；　putting　on　her　make…up；　until　it　was　precisely　the　way　she　wanted　it。　Then　she　would　fuss　with　her　hair；　teasing　it　until　it　hung　carelessly；　but　with　every　strand　in　its　allotted　place。
　She　had　a　fetish　about　not　getting　anywhere　on　time。　She　was　always　at　least　an　hour　late；　most　of　the　time　even　later。　It　used　to　drive　him　crazy　having　to　wait　for　her；　but　it　never　seemed　to　disturb　anyone　else。　They　just　took　it　for　granted。
　Claude　looked　down　at　the　mug。　It　was　empty　again。　He　ordered　another　drink。　He　was　beginning　to　feel　better。　Rina　would　be　surprised　when　she　came　home　and　found　his　things　gone。　No　more　would　she　call　him　half　a　man。　She'd　find　out　just　how　much　of　a　man　he　was　when　the　lawyer　served　her　with　divorce　papers。　She'd　know　then　that　she　couldn't　push　him　around。
　And　she'd　never　look　at　him　again　the　way　she　had　the　first　night　they　were　married　…　with　pity　and　yet　contempt；　and　worst　of　all；　the　knowledge　in　her　eyes　that　she　saw　into　him　deeply；　laying　bare　the　very　secrets　of　his　soul；　secrets　that　he　kept　even　from　himself。
　He　had　e　into　the　darkened　bedroom；　holding　in　his　hand　a　tray　on　which　stood　an　iced　bottle　of　champagne　and　two　glasses。　〃I　have　e　bearing　wine　for　my　beloved。〃
　They　began　to　make　love。　Gently　and　beautifully；　the　way　he　had　always　known　it　would　be；　for　he　was　a　virgin。　And　there　was　fort　in　the　womanly　curve　of　her　body　on　the　bed；　lying　there　so　passive　and　undemanding。　He　had　even　begun　to　pose　a　poem　to　her　beauty　when　he　felt　her　searching　hand　against　his　flesh。
　For　the　tiniest　fraction　of　a　moment；　he　froze；　startled　by　her　alien　fingers。　Then　he　relaxed；　for　her　touch　was　so　light　and　gentle　that　he　was　scarcely　aware　of　it。　He　felt　a　tremor　shake　her　body；　then　another；　and　a　sudden　burst　of　heat　seemed　to　rise　from　her。
　Then　a　cry　came　from　deep　within　her　and　she　pulled　him　down　toward　her；　her　hands　ripping　off　the　bottom　part　of　his　pajamas。　No　longer　was　she　suppliant　and　gentle；　no　longer　did　she　care　what　he　felt　or　needed；　she　was　caught　up　in　a　frenzy　of　her　own。　Her　fingers　hurt　him　as　she　tried　to　guide　him；　to　force　him　into　her。
　Suddenly；　a　wild　terror　began　to　run　through　him。　A　fear　of　the　demanding　sexuality　of　her　body；　which　had　lain　dormant；　waiting　only　for　this　moment　to　feed　upon　his　manhood　and　devour　him。　In　a　near　panic；　he　tore　himself　free　and　stood　trembling　near　the　bed。
　He　tried　to　pull　the　torn　pajamas　around　him　and　heard　the　sound　of　her　breathing　bee　quieter。　There　was　a　rustle　of　the　sheets　and　he　looked　down　at　her。
　She　had　turned　over　on　her　side　and　was　staring　up　at　him；　the　sheet　carelessly　draped　over　her　hips。　Her　breasts　were　heavy；　the　nipples　still　swollen　with　passion。　Her　eyes　seemed　to　flame　their　way　into　him。　〃Are　you　the　kind　of　man　some　people　say　you　are？〃
　He　felt　the　fire　burning　its　way　into　his　cheeks。　He　had　not　been　unaware　of　the　snide　remarks　made　behind　his　back；　but　ordinary　people　did　not　understand　his　absorption　in　his　work。　〃No！〃　he　said　quickly。
　〃Then　what　kind　of　man　are　you？〃
　He　fell　to　his　knees　beside　the　bed　and　looked　at　her。　〃Please；〃　he　cried。　〃Please；　you've　got　to　understand。　I　married　you　because　I　love　you　but　I'm　not　like　the　others。　My　mother　says　I'm　more　nervous　and　high　strung。〃
　She　didn't　answer　and　he　saw　the　horrible　bination　of　pity；　contempt　and　knowledge　e　fleetingly　into　her　eyes。　〃Don't　look　at　me　like　that；〃　he　begged。　〃It　will　be　better　the　next　time。　I　won't　be　so　nervous。　I　love　you。　I　love　you。〃
　He　felt　her　hand　touch　his　head　gently；　then　slowly　stroke　his　temples。　Gradually；　his　tears　subsided　and　he　seized　her　hands；　kissing　them　gratefully。　〃It　will　be　better；　darling；〃　he　promised。
　But　it　was　never　any　better。　There　was　something　about　the　plete　femaleness　of　her　body；　her　terrifying　sexuality；　that　frightened　him　into　plete　impotency。
　〃What　did　you　say？〃　The　words　took　him　from　the　past　into　the　present。　He　looked　up。　The　other　customer；　the　young　man　in　the　yellow　jacket；　was　speaking　to　him。　〃I　thought　you　said　something　to　me。　I'm　sorry。〃
　Claude　felt　foolish。　There　was　no　doubt　that　he　had　spoken。　Very　often　he　did　while　lost　in　thought。　He　began　to　feel　embarrassed。　〃I　did；〃　he　said；　quickly　trying　to　cover　his　embarrassment。　〃I　said　it　turned　into　a　rather　nasty　day；　didn't　it？〃
　The　young　man's　eyes　went　past　him　to　the　window；　then　back。　〃Yes；〃　he　said　politely。　〃It　sure　did。〃
　Claude　looked　at　him。　He　seemed　like　a　nice　enough　young　man。　Handsome；　too；　in　a　rough　sort　of　way。　Probably　an　actor；　down　on　his　luck；　who'd　stopped　in　to　nurse　a　beer　until　the　rain　stopped。　He　picked　up　his　mug。　It　was　empty　again。　〃Let　me　buy　you　a　drink；〃　he　said。
　The　boy　nodded。　〃I'd　like　another　beer。　Thanks。〃
　〃Bartender；　a　beer　for　the　young　gentleman；〃　Claude　called。　He　tapped　his　mug。　〃And　I'll　have　another　of　these。〃
　It　wasn't　until　three　drinks　later；　when　he　saw　Rina's　car　turn　downtown　onto　Sunset；　that　he　got　the　idea。　After　all；　there　were　quite　a　few　things　he　wanted　to　take　with　him　and　he　couldn't　carry　all　of　them　alone。
　After　he　rang　the　bell　the　second　time　he　remembered　it　was　Thursday　and　all　the　servants　were　off。　He　took　out　his　key。　They　went　right　up　the　staircase　to　his　room。　He　opened　the　closet　and　took　out　a　valise。　〃You　empty　those　drawers；〃　he　said　to　the　boy。　〃I'll　get　another　suitcase。〃
　He　left　the　room　for　a　moment　and　when　he　returned；　his　panion　was　holding　a　picture　of　Rina　that　had　been　standing　on　the　bureau。　〃Who's　this？〃
　〃My　wife；〃　Claude　answered　tersely。　Then　he　giggled。　〃Will　she　be　surprised　when　she　gets　home　and　finds　I'm　gone。〃
　〃You　Rina　Marlowe's　husband？〃
　Claude　nodded。　〃But　not　for　long　now；　thank　God！〃
　The　boy　looked　at　him　strangely。　〃What　do　you　want　to　walk　out　on　a　dish　like　that　for？〃　he　asked。
　Claude　snatched　the　picture　angrily　from　his　hand　and　threw　it　against　the　wall。　The　glass　shattered　and　fell　into　tiny　bits　on　the　carpet。　He　turned　and　walked　into　the　bathroom。　He　took　off　his　jacket　and　loosened　his　tie。　He　turned　on　the　taps　to　wash　his　hands　but　the　sound　of　the　water　rushing　into　the　basin　reminded　him　suddenly　of　the　time　he　had　walked　int