amc.killashandra-第53部分

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　She　liked　best　his　wide　lips；　more　patrician　than　sensual。　She　knew　the　havoc　they　could　raise　with　her　body　and　felt　they　were　perhaps　his　best　feature。　Even　in　sleep；　the　corners　raised　slightly。　His　chin　was　rather　broader　than　one　was　aware　when　his　face　was　mobile；　but　the　strong　jawline　swept　back　to　well…shaped　ears；　also　tan；　with　a　spot　of　new　sunburn　about　to　peel　on　the　top　skin。
　The　column　of　his　neck　was　strong　and　the　pulse　beat　in　his　throat。　She　wanted　to　put　her　finger　tip　on　it　and　almost　did　before　retracting　her　hand。　He　was　more　truly　hers　when　asleep；　untouched　by　stress；　relaxed；　his　rib　cage　barely　moving。
　She　loved　the　line　of　his　chest；　the　smooth　skin　clothing　smooth　pectoral　muscle；　and　once　again　she　had　to　repress　the　wish　to　run　her　hand　down　the　shape　of　him；　to　feel　the　fine　crisp　hair　on　his　chest。　He　was　not　hirsute　and　she　found　that　much　to　her　preference　as　well；　his　legs　and　arms　having　only　a　fine　dusting　of　blond　hairs。
　She　had　seen　handsomer　men　but　the　position　of　his　face　pleased　her　better。　Lanzecki　…　now　that　was　the　first　time　she'd　thought　of　him　in　days　…　actually　was　the　more　distinguished　in　looks；　heavier　in　build。　She　decided　she　preferred　the　way　Lars　Dahl　was　put　together。
　She　sighed。　It　was　easier　to　be　philosophical　about　Lanzecki。　Would　she　have　been　as　easily　resigned　to　that　loss　if　she　hadn't　met　Lars　Dahl？　She　had　broken　off　with　Lanzecki　for　his　own　good；　but　she　hadn't　〃lost〃　him；　for　she　would　return　to　Ballybran。　Once　she'd　left　Optheria。。。
　For　a　moment　her　emotions　hovered　above　a　new　abyss　of　despair　and　regret。　And　for　the　first　time　in　her　life；　the　thought　of　bearing　a　man's　child　crossed　her　mind。　That　was　as　much　an　impossibility　as　remaining　with　Lars；　but　it　emphasized　the　depth　of　her　emotional　involvement　with　the　man。　Perhaps　it　was　just　as　well　that　no　child　was　possible；　that　their　liaison　would　end　when　this　assignment　was　over。　She　surprised　herself！　Children　were　something　other　people　had。　To　feel　that　desire　was　remarkable。
　Optheria；　for　all　its　conservatism　and　alleged　security；　had　unexpected　facets　of　danger。　Not　the　least　of　which　were　her　adventures　so　far。　She　could　hardly　fault　Trag；　or　rail　at　the　Encyclopedia　Galactica。　Facts　she　had　had。　What　couldn't　have　been　foreseen　were　the　astonishing　predicaments　which　had　entangled　her。　And　the　fascinating　personalities。
　More　extraordinary　still；　she　remembered　all　too　vividly；　and　with　just　a　trace　of　chagrin；　her　rantings　and　ravings　and　desperation's　when　she'd　left　Ballybran；　a　sacrifice　to　the　Guild　for　Lanzecki's　good。　Now；　when　contemplating　a　much　deeper　and　irreversible　loss；　why　was　she　so　calm；　fatalistically　resigned；　even　philosophical。　How　very　strange！　Had　her　loss　of　Lanzecki　inured　her　to　others？　Or　was　she　mistaking　her　feelings　for　Lars　Dahl？　No！　She'd　remember　Lars　Dahl　for　the　rest　of　her　life　without　benefit　of　data　retrieval。
　The　second　chimes　rang　faintly　across　the　open　court　outside　the　windows。　Faint　but　sufficient　to　waken　Lars。　He　was　as　neat　on　wakening　as　he　was　in　sleep。　His　eyes　opened；　his　right　hand　searched　for　her　body；　his　head　turned　and　his　smile　began　as　he　located　her。　Then　he　stretched；　arms　above　his　head；　back　arching　toward　her　as　he　extended　his　legs　and　then　on　the　top　of　his　extension；　suddenly　retracted　himself；　drawing　her　against　him；　to　plete　a　morning　ritual　which　included　the　exercise　of　their　intimate　relationship。　Each　time；　they　seemed　to　discover　something　new　about　themselves　and　their　responses。　She　particularly　liked　Lars's　capacity　for　invention；　stimulating　as　it　did　heretofore　unsuspected　originalities　in　herself。
　As　usual　hunger　roused　them　from　these　variations。
　〃Breakfast　here　is　the　heartiest　meal；〃　Lars　said　cheerfully；　striding　quickly　for　the　catering　unit。　〃You'll　like　it。〃
　Killashandra　saw　that　he　had　left　the　jammer　behind　him；　and　she　followed　him　at　a　quick　trot；　holding　the　device　up　to　distort　anything　else　he　might　say。
　He　laughed。　〃We'd　best　leave　them　something　to　hear。　A　discussion　of　breakfast　must　be　sufficiently　innocuous。〃
　Killashandra　settled　in　one　of　the　chairs　near　the　catering　unit；　swiveling　her　hand　as　she　looked　at　the　little　jammer。　If　only　some　way　could　be　found　to　mask　that　mineral　residue　in　Optherians！　Blank　out　the　detector。
　〃You　know；〃　Killashandra　said　as　they　ate；　sitting　panionably　together　on　the　elegant　seating　unit；　〃I　simply　cannot　understand　this　concentration　on　one　instrument　…　albeit　a　powerful　one　…　but　they're　wiping　out　more　than　ninety…nine　percent　of　the　FSP's　musical　traditions　and　repertoire；　as　well　as　stultifying　talents　and　potential。　I　mean；　your　tenor　is　formidable！〃
　Lars　shrugged；　giving　her　a　tolerant　side　glance。　〃Everyone　sings　…　at　least　in　the　islands；　they　do。〃
　〃But　you　know　how　to　sing。〃
　Lars　cocked　an　eyebrow　at　her；　still　humoring　what　he　felt　was　her　excessive　fascination　with　a　minor　ability。
　〃Everyone　knows　how　to　sing　…　〃
　〃I　don't　mean　just　opening　the　mouth　and　shouting；　Lars　Dahl。　I　mean；　projecting　a　voice；　supporting　it　properly　on　the　breath；　phrasing　the　music；　carrying　the　dynamic　line　forward。〃
　〃When　did　I　do　all　that？〃
　〃When　we　did　that　impromptu　duet。　When　you　sang　on　the　beach；　when　you　did　that　magnificent　duet　from　The　Pearl　Fishers。〃
　〃I　did？〃
　〃Of　course。　I　studied　voice　for　ten　years。　I　…　〃　She　shut　her　mouth。
　〃Then　why　are　you　a　crystal　singer　instead　of　one　of　these　famous　vocal　artists？〃
　A　surge　of　impotent　fury；　followed　by　a　wave　of　regret；　and　then　a　totally　inprehensible　loathing　of　Lars　for　reminding　her　so　acutely　of　the　interview　with　Maestro　Valdi　…　the　moment　that　had　changed　her　life　…　rendered　Killashandra　speechless。
　Lars　watched　her；　his　mild　curiosity　turning　to　concern　as　he　saw　the　emotions　in　her　stormy　eyes　and　face。　He　put　a　hand　on　her　bare　thigh。　〃What　did　I　say　to　distress　you　so？〃
　〃Nothing　you　said；　Lars。〃　She　dismissed　all　that　from　consideration。　It　was　over　and　done　with。　〃I　had　all　the　requirements　to　be　a　Stellar；　except　one。　A　voice。〃
　〃Ah；　now。〃　Lars　pulled　back　in　indignation。
　〃I'm　quite　serious。　There's　a　flaw；　a　noticeable　and　unpleasant　burr　in　the　voice　that　would　have　limited　me　to　secondary　roles。〃
　Lars　laughed　now；　his　white　teeth　gleaming　in　his　tanned　faced；　his　eyes　sparkling。　〃And　you；　my　beloved　Sunny；〃　he　kissed　her　lightly；　〃would　never　settle　for　being　second　in　anything！　Are　you　first　among　crystal　singers；　then？〃
　〃I　don't　do　badly。　I've　sung　black　crystal；　which　is　the　hardest　to　find　and　cut　properly。　In　any　event；　there　aren't　degrees　among　singers。　One　cuts　to　earn　enough　credit　for　the　things　one　needs　and　wants。〃　Now　why　wasn't　she　being　totally　honest　with　Lars？　Why　didn't　she　confess　that　the　sole　aim　of　most　crystal　singers　was　sufficient　credit　not　to　have　to　sing　crystal　…　to　leave　Ballybran　for　as　long　as　possible？
　〃I　wouldn't　have　thought　crystal　singers　are　so　much　like　islanders；〃　Lars　surprised　her　by　saying。　〃Well；　you　cut　for　what　you　need　and　want；　much　as　we　fish　or　plant　polly；　but　all　we　really　need　is　available。〃
　〃It's　not　quite　the　same　thing　with　crystal；〃　Killashandra　said　slowly；　glad　she　had　been　less　than　honest。　Why　disillusion　Lars　needlessly？　On　so　many　worlds；　in　so　many　minds；　there　were　so　many　misconceptions　about　crystal　singers；　she　had　not　realized　how　much　a　relief　it　was　to　find　an　unbiased　world　…　at　least　one　unbiased　with　respect　to　her　Guild。
　〃Cutting　crystal　seems　more　dangerous　than　fishing。〃　He　stroked　her　scarred　hand。　〃Or　learning　polly。〃
　〃Stick　to　fishing；　Lars。　Crystal's　hazardous　to　your　health。　Now；　we'd　best　apply　ourselves　to　fulfill　my　Guild　contract　with　these　fardling　fools。　And　maybe　shake　them　out　of　their　organic　rut！〃
　They　dressed　and　then　Killashandra　entered　the　number　Mirbethan　had　given　her。　The　woman　seemed　immensely　relieved　to　accept　the　call　and　said　that　Thyrol　would　be　with　them　directly。
　〃D'you　suppose　he　slept　in　the　hall？〃　Killashandra　murmured　to　Lars　as　she　answered　the　polite　scratching　on　the　hall　door。　Lars　shook　his　head　violently；　then　held　up　his　hand　while　he　deactivated　the　jammer　and　pocketed　it。　〃Good　mo