amc.killashandra-第8部分

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you　have　a　real　regard　for　the　man；　go。　Now。　Before　it's　too　late　for　him。〃
　Killashandra　stared　back　at　Trag；　trying　to　absorb　the　various　implications　…　foremost　was　the　realization　that　Lanzecki　was　genuinely　attached　to　her。　She　felt　a　wave　of　exultation　and　tenderness　that　quite　overwhelmed　her　for　a　moment。　She'd　never　considered　that　possibility。　Nor　its　corollary：　that　Lanzecki　would　be　reluctant　to　cut　crystal　because　he　might　forget　his　attachment。　A　man　who'd　been　in　the　Guild　as　long　as　he　had　would　be　subject　to　considerable　memory　loss　in　the　Ranges。　Had　he　learned　his　duties　as　Guild　Master　so　thoroughly　that　the　knowledge　was　as　ingrained　in　him　as　the　rules　and　regulations　in　a　crystal…mad　brain　like　Moksoon's？　It　was　not　Lanzecki's　face　that　suddenly　dominated　her　thoughts；　but　the　crisscross　tracings　of　old　crystal　scars　on　his　body；　the　inexplicable　pain　that　occasionally　darkened　his　eyes。　Antona's　cryptic　admission　about　singers　who　could　not　break　crystal　thrall　echoed　in　her　head。　She　puzzled　at　the　assortment　of　impressions　and　suddenly　understood。　She　sagged　against　the　back　and　arms　of　her　chair　for　support。　Dully　she　wondered　if　Trag　and　Antona　had　been　in　collusion。　Would　the　subject　of　crystal　thrall　have　e　up　at　that　lunch　hour　even　if　Rimbol　had　not　arrived？
　There　was　little　doubt　in　Killashandra's　mind　that　Antona　knew　of　Lanzecki's　circumstances。　And　she　did　doubt　that　the　woman　knew　about　their　relationship。　She　also　doubted　that　Trag　would　mention　so　personal　an　aspect　of　the　Guild　Master's　business。　Why　couldn't　Lanzecki　have　been　just　another　singer；　like　herself？　Why　did　he　have　to　be　Guild　Master　and　far　too　valuable；　too　essential　to　be　placed　in　jeopardy　by　unruly　affection？
　Why；　the　situation　has　all　the　trappings　of　an　operatic　tragedy！　A　genuine　one…solution　tragedy；　where　hero　and　heroine　both　lose　out。　For　she　could　now　admit　to　herself　that　she　was　as　deeply　attached　to　Lanzecki　as　he　was　to　her。　She　covered　her　face　with　both　hands；　clasping　them　to　cheeks　gone　chill。
　She　thought　of　Antona's　advice；　to　put　down　everything　…　including　love　…　Killashandra　writhed　in　her　chair。　Antona　couldn't　have　known　that　Killashandra　would　so　shortly　be　faced　with　such　an　emotional　decision。　Which；　Killashandra　realized　with　a　flicker　of　ironic　amusement；　was　one　to　be　as　deeply　and　quickly　interred　and　forgotten　as　possible。
　One　thing　was　sure　…　no　matter　how　long　the　journey　to　Optheria；　it　wouldn't　be　long　enough　to　forget　all　the　wonderful　moments　she　had　enjoyed　with　Lanzecki　the　man。　She　squeezed　her　eyes　shut　against　the　pain　of　encountering　him　when　she　returned；　and；　perhaps；　finding　no　recollection　of　her　in　his　dark　eyes。　Nor　feel　his　lips　again　on　her　hand。。。
　〃Killashandra？〃　Trag's　voice　recalled　her　to　his　watching　presence　on　the　viewscreen。
　〃Now　that　I　know　the　ramifications　of　the　assignment；　Trag；　I　can　hardly　refuse　it。〃　Her　flippant　tone　was　belied　by　the　tears　rolling　down　her　cheeks。　〃Do　you　go　with　him　to　break　the　thrall？〃　she　asked　when　her　throat　opened　enough　to　speak　again。
　At　any　other　time；　she　would　have　counted　Trag's　startled　look　as　a　signal　of　victory。　Maybe　if　she　found　someone　to　sing　with；　she　would　also　find　such　a　passionate　and　unswerving　loyalty。　She　must　remember　that。
　〃When's　the　next　shuttle　to　Shanganagh；　Trag？〃　She　rubbed　her　cheeks　dry　with　an　urgent　impatience。　〃Tell　Lanzecki　…　tell　him。。。　crystal　resonance　drove　me　to　it。〃　As　she　spun　off　her　chair；　she　heard　herself　give　a　laugh　that　verged　on　the　hysterical。　〃That's　no　more　than　the　truth；　isn't　it？〃　Driven　by　the　need　just　to　do　something；　she　began　to　cram　clothes　into　her　carisak。
　〃The　shuttle　leaves　in　ten　minutes；　Killashandra　Ree。〃
　〃That　s　great。〃　She　struggled　to　secure　the　fastenings　on　the　bulging　sak。　〃Will　you　see　me　aboard　again；　Trag？　That　seems　to　be　your　especial　duty；　rushing　me　onto　shuttles　to　Shanganagh　for　unusual　assignments　all　over　the　galaxy。〃　She　was　unable　to　resist　taunting　Trag。　He　was　the　author　of　her　misery　and　she　was　being　strong　and　purposeful　in　a　moment　of　deep　personal　sacrifice　and　loss。　She　glanced　up　at　the　screen　and　saw　that　it　was　dark。　〃Coward！〃
　She　hauled　open　her　door。　She　decided　that　slamming　it　was　a　waste　of　a　grand　gesture。　She　had　just　enough　time　to　get　to　the　shuttle。
　〃Exit　Killashandra。　Quietly。　Up　stage！〃
　Chapter　3
　Trag　had　timed　Killashandra's　departure　well　for　she　and　the　three　crates　of　white　crystal　were　on　board　a　freighter　bound　for　the　Rappahoe　Transfer　Satellite　within　four　hours　of　their　confrontation。　She　didn't　think　about　it　at　the　time　for　she　was　totally　immersed　in　the　strong　emotions　of　self…sacrifice；　remorse　for　her　effect　on　Lanzecki；　and　a　perverse　need　to　redeem　herself　in　Trag's　eyes。　Even　though　she　had　permitted　herself　to　be　borne　on　the　tide　of　circumstance；　she　kept　hoping　that　Lanzecki　might　somehow　get　wind　of　her　defection　and　abort　the　mission。
　To　insure　that　her　whereabouts　were　known；　she　rummaged　through　the　shopping　area　of　Shanganagh　Base　like　a　mach　storm。　She　bought　necessities；　fripperies；　and　foodstuffs；　acpanying　each　purchase　with　a　running　dialogue　at　the　top　of　her　voice　and　spelling　out　her　name　for　every　credit　entry。　No　one　could　fail　to　know　the　whereabouts　of　Killashandra　Ree。　After　adding　a　few　items　of　essential　clothing　to　the　garments　she　had　stuffed　into　her　carisak；　her　keen　instinct　for　survival　asserted　itself　in　the　base's　victualers。　She　had　vivid　memories　of　the　monotonously　nutritious　diet　on　the　Selkite　freighter　and　the　stodge　supplied　by　the　Trundomoux　cruiser。　She　did　have　to　consider　her　palate　and　digestive　system。
　Sadly；　no　deferential　shopkeeper　tapped　her　on　the　arm　to　tell　her　of　an　urgent　call　from　the　Guild　Master。　In　fact；　people　seemed　to　keep　their　distance　from　her。　A　chance　glimpse　of　her　gaunt；　harrowed　face　in　a　mirror　provided　one　explanation　…　she'd　have　needed　no　cosmetic　aids　to　play　the　part　of　any　one　of　a　number　of　harried；　despairing；　insane　heroines。　At　that　point　her　humor　briefly　reasserted　itself。　She　had　often　thought　that　the　make…up　remended　for；　say；　Lucia；　or　Lady　Macbeth；　or　Testuka　and　Isolde　was　totally　exaggerated。　Now；　at　last　having　had　personal　experiences　with　the　phenomenon　of　losing　one's　great　love　through　selfless　sacrifice；　she　could　appreciate　the　effect　which　grief　could　have　on　one's　outward　appearance。　She　looked　awful！　So　she　purchased　two　brilliant　multihued　floating　kaftans　of　Beluga　spider…silk；　and　hastily　added　their　fingerlength　cases　to　her　bulging　carisak；　then　a　travel…case　of　fashionable　cosmetics。　She'd　nine　days　to　travel　on　the　first　freighter　and　it　would　only　be　civil　to　remedy　her　appearance。
　Then　the　boarding　call　for　the　Pink　Tulip　Sparrow　was　broadcast　and　she　had　no　option　but　to　proceed　to　the　loading　bay。　In　an　effort　to　delay　the　inevitable；　she　walked　at　a　funereal　pace　down　the　access　ramp。
　〃Singer；　we've　got　to　get　moving！　Now；　please；　hurry　along。〃
　She　made　an　appearance　of　haste　but　when　the　Mate　tried　to　take　her　arm　and　hurry　her　into　the　lock；　her　body　arched　in　resistance。　Abruptly　he　let　go；　staring　at　her　with　an　expression　of　puzzled　shock　…　his　arms　were　bare；　and　the　hairs　on　them　stood　erect。
　〃I'm　awaiting　purchases　from　Stores。〃　Killashandra　was　so　desperate　for　a　last…minute　reprieve　that　any　delay　seemed　reasonable。
　〃There！〃　The　Mate　conveyed　frustrated　disgust　and　impatience　as　he　pointed　to　a　stack　of　odd…size　parcels　littering　the　passageway。
　〃The　crystals？〃
　〃Cartons　all　racked　and　tacked　in　the　special　cargo　hold。〃　He　made　a　move　as　if　to　grab　her　arm　and　yank　her　aboard；　but　jingled　his　hands　with　frustration　instead。　〃We've　got　to　make　way。　Shanganagh　Authority　imposes　heavy　fines　for　missed　departure　windows。　And　don't　tell　me；　Crystal　Singer；　that　you've　got　enough　credit　to　pay　'em。〃　Abruptly　she　abandoned　all　hope　that　Lanzecki；　like　the　legendary　heroes　of　yore；　would　rescue　her　at　the　last　moment　from　her　act　of　boundless　self…sacrifice。　She　stepped　aboard　the　freighter。　The　airlock　closed　with　such　speed　that　the　heavy　external　hatch　brushed　against　her　heels。　The　ship　was　moving　from　the　docking　bay　before　th