sidneysheldon.astrangerinthemirror-第32部分

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dian　was　naked。　His　only　weapon　was　his　wit。　Toby　Temple's　ad　libs　quickly　became　famous　around　Hollywood。　At　a　party　for　the　elderly　founder　of　a　studio；　someone　asked　Toby；　
　〃Is　he　really　ninety…one　years　old？〃　
　Toby　replied；　〃Yep。　When　he　reaches　one　hundred；　they're　going　to　split　him　two…for…one。〃　
　At　dinner　one　evening；　a　famous　physician　who　took　care　of　many　of　the　stars　told　a　long　and　labored　joke　to　a　group　of　edians。　
　〃Doc；〃　Toby　pleaded；　〃don't　amuse　us　　save　us！〃　
　One　day　the　studio　was　using　lions　in　a　movie；　and　as　Toby　saw　them　being　trucked　by；　he　yelled；　〃Christians　ten　minutes！〃　
　Toby's　practical　jokes　became　legend。　A　Catholic　friend　of　his　went　to　the　hospital　for　a　minor　operation。　While　he　was　recuperating；　a　beautiful　young　nun　stopped　by　his　bed。　She　stroked　his　forehead。　
　〃You　feel　nice　and　cool。　Such　soft　skin。〃　
　〃Thank　you；　Sister。〃　
　She　leaned　over　him　and　began　straightening　his　pillows；　her　breasts　brushing　against　his　face。　In　spite　of　himself；　the　poor　man　began　to　get　an　erection。　As　the　Sister　started　to　straighten　the　blankets；　her　hand　brushed　against　him。　He　was　in　an　agony　of　mortification。　
　〃Good　Lord；〃　the　nun　said。　〃What　have　we　here？〃　And　she　pulled　the　covers　back；　revealing　his　rock…hard　penis。　
　〃II'm　terribly　sorry。　Sister；〃　he　stammered。　〃I〃　
　〃Don't　be　sorry。　It's　a　great　cock；〃　the　nun　said；　and　began　to　go　down　on　him。　It　was　six　months　before　he　learned　that　it　was　Toby　who　had　sent　the　hooker　in　to　him。　
　As　Toby　was　stepping　out　of　an　elevator　one　day；　he　turned　to　a　pompous　network　executive　and　said；　〃By　the　way；　Will；　how　did　you　ever　e　out　on　that　morals　charge？〃　The　elevator　door　closed　and　the　executive　was　left　with　half　a　dozen　people　eyeing　him　warily。　
　When　it　came　time　to　negotiate　a　new　contract；　Toby　arranged　for　a　trained　panther　to　be　delivered　to　him　at　the　studio。　Toby　opened　Sam　Winters's　office　door　while　Sam　was　in　the　middle　of　a　meeting。　
　〃My　agent　wants　to　talk　to　you；〃　Toby　said。　He　shoved　the　panther　inside　the　office　and　closed　the　door。　When　Toby　told　the　story　later；　he　said；　
　〃Three　of　the　guys　in　that　office　almost　had　heart　attacks。　It　took　them　a　month　to　get　the　smell　of　panther　piss　out　of　that　room。〃　
　Toby　had　a　staff　of　ten　writers　working　for　him；　headed　by　O'Hanlon　and　Rainger。　Toby　plained　constantly　about　the　material　his　writers　gave　him。　Once　Toby　made　a　whore　a　member　of　the　writing　team。　When　Toby　learned　that　his　writers　were　spending　most　of　their　time　in　the　bedroom；　he　had　to　fire　her。　Another　time；　Toby　brought　an　organ　grinder　and　his　monkey　to　a　story　conference。　It　was　humiliating　and　demeaning；　but　O'Hanlon　and　Rainger　and　the　other　writers　took　it　because　Toby　turned　their　material　into　pure　gold。　He　was　the　best　in　the　business。　Toby's　generosity　was　profligate。　He　gave　his　employees　and　his　friends　gold　watches　and　cigarette　lighters　and　plete　wardrobes　and　trips　to　Europe。　He　carried　an　enormous　amount　of　money　with　him　and　paid　for　everything　in　cash；　including　two　Rolls…Royces。　He　was　a　soft　touch。　Every　Friday　a　dozen　hangers…on　in　the　Business　would　line　up　for　a　handout。　Once　Toby　said　to　one　of　the　regulars；　
　〃Hey；　what　are　you　doing　here　today？　I　read　in　Variety　that　you　got　a　job　in　a　picture。〃　
　The　man　looked　at　Toby　and　said；　〃Hell；　don't　I　get　two　weeks'　notice？〃　
　There　were　myriad　stories　about　Toby；　and　nearly　all　of　them　were　true。　One　day；　during　a　story　conference　a　writer　walked　in　late；　an　unforgivable　sin。　
　〃I'm　sorry　I'm　late；〃　he　apologized。　〃My　kid　was　run　over　by　a　car　this　morning。〃
　Toby　looked　at　him　and　said；　〃Did　you　bring　the　jokes？〃
　Everyone　in　the　room　was　shocked。　After　the　meeting；　one　of　the　writers　said　to　O'Hanlon；　〃That's　the　coldest　son　of　bitch　in　the　world。　If　you　were　on　fire；　he'd　sell　you　water。〃　
　Toby　flew　in　a　top　brain　surgeon　to　operate　on　the　injured　boy　and　paid　all　the　hospital　bills。　He　said　to　the　father；　〃If　you　ever　mention　this　to　anyone；　you're　out　on　your　ass。〃　
　Work　was　the　only　thing　that　made　Toby　forget　his　loneliness；　the　only　thing　that　brought　him　real　joy。　If　a　show　went　well；　Toby　was　the　most　amusing　panion　in　the　world；　but　if　the　show　went　badly；　he　was　a　demon；　attacking　every　target　within　reach　of　his　savage　wit。　He　was　possessive。　Once；　during　a　story　conference；　he　took　Rainger's　head　between　his　two　hands　and　announced　to　the　room；　〃This　is　mine。　It　belongs　to　me。〃　At　the　same　time　he　grew　to　hate　writers；　because　he　needed　them　and　he　did　not　want　to　need　anyone。　So　he　treated　them　with　contempt。　On　pay　day；　Toby　made　airplanes　of　the　writer's　paychecks　and　sailed　them　through　the　air。　Writers　would　be　fired　for　the　smallest　infraction。　One　day　a　writer　walked　in　with　a　tan　and　Toby　immediately　had　him　discharged。　〃Why　did　you　do　that？〃　O'Hanlon　asked。　〃He's　one　of　our　best　writers。〃　〃If　he　was　working；〃　Toby　said；　〃he　wouldn't　have　had　rime　for　a　tan。〃　A　new　writer　brought　in　a　joke　about　mothers　and　was　let　go。　If　a　guest　on　his　show　got　big　laughs；　Toby　would　exclaim；　〃You're　great！　I　want　you　on　this　show　every　week。〃　He　would　look　over　at　the　producer　and　say；　〃You　hear　me？〃　and　the　producer　would　know　that　the　actor　was　never　to　appear　on　the　show　again。　Toby　was　a　mass　of　contradictions。　He　was　jealous　of　the　success　of　other　ics；　yet　the　following　happened。　
　One　day　as　Toby　was　leaving　his　rehearsal　stage；　he　passed　the　dressing　room　of　an　old…time　edy　star；　Vinnie　Turkel；　whose　career　had　long　since　gone　downhill。　Vinnie　had　been　hired　to　do　his　first　dramatic　part；　in　a　live　television　play。　He　hoped　that　it　would　mean　a　eback　for　him。　Now；　as　Toby　looked　into　the　dressing　room；　he　saw　Vinnie　on　the　couch；　drunk。　The　director　of　the　show　came　by　and　said　to　Toby；　〃Let　him　be；　Toby。　He's　finished。〃　
　〃What　happened？〃　
　〃Well；　you　know　Vinnie's　trademark　has　always　been　his　high；　quavery　voice。　We　started　rehearsing　and　every　time　Vinnie　opened　his　mouth　and　tried　to　be　serious；　everyone　began　to　laugh。　It　destroyed　the　old　guy。〃　
　〃He　was　counting　on　this　part；　wasn't　he？〃　Toby　asked。　
　The　director　shrugged。　〃Every　actor　counts　on　every　part。〃　
　Toby　took　Vinnie　Turkel　home　with　him　and　stayed　with　the　old　edy　star；　sobering　him　up。　〃This　is　the　best　role　you've　ever　had　in　your　life。　Are　you　gonna　blow　it？〃　
　Vinnie　shook　his　head；　miserable。　〃I've　already　blown　it；　Toby。　I　can't　cut　it。〃　
　〃Who　says　you　can't？〃　Toby　demanded。　〃You　can　play　that　part　better　than　anyone　in　the　world。〃　
　The　old　man　shook　his　head。　〃They　laughed　at　me。〃　
　〃Sure　they　did。　And　do　you　know　why？　Because　you've　made　them　laugh　all　your　life。　They　expected　you　to　be　funny。　But　if　you　keep　going；　you'll　win　them　over。　You'll　kill　them。〃　He　spent　the　rest　of　the　afternoon　restoring　Vinnie　Turkel's　confidence。　That　evening；　Toby　telephoned　the　director　at　home。　
　〃Turkel's　all　right　now；〃　Toby　said。　〃You　have　nothing　to　worry　about。〃　
　〃I　know　I　haven't；〃　the　director　retorted。　〃I've　replaced　him。〃　
　〃Not　replace　him；〃　Toby　said。　〃You've　got　to　give　him　a　shot。〃　
　〃I　can't　take　the　chance；　Toby。　He'll　get　drunk　again　and…〃　
　〃Tell　you　what　I'll　do；〃　Toby　offered。　〃Keep　him　in。　If　you　still　don't　want　him　after　dress　rehearsal；　I'll　take　over　his　part　and　do　it　for　nothing。〃　
　There　was　a　pause；　and　the　director　said；　〃Hey！　Are　you　serious？〃　
　〃You　bet　your　ass。〃　
　〃It's　a　deal；〃　the　director　said　quickly。　〃Tell　Vinnie　to　be　at　rehearsal　at　nine　o'clock　tomorrow　morning。〃　
　When　the　show　went　on　the　air；　it　was　the　hit　of　the　season。　And　it　was　Vinnie　Turkel　whose　performance　the　critics　singled　out。　He　won　every　prize　that　television　had　to　offer　and　a　new　career　opened　up　for　him　as　a　dramatic　actor。　When　he　sent　Toby　an　expensive　gift　to　show　his　appreciation；　Toby　returned　it　with　a　note。　
　〃I　didn't　do　it；　you　did。〃　
　That　was　Toby　Temple。　A　few　months　later；　Toby　signed　Vinnie　Turkel　to　do　a　sketch　in　his　show。　Vinnie　stepped　on　one　of　Toby's　laugh　lines　and　from　that　moment　on；　Toby　gave　him　wrong　cues；　tolled　his　jokes　and　humiliated　him　in　front　of　forty　million　people。　That　was　Toby　Temple；　too。　Someone　asked　O'Hanlon　what　Toby　Temple　was　really