rh.royalassassin-第20部分

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r　suspected。　〃How　do　you　think　I　could　ever　forget　that？〃　she　asked　quietly。
　　　　　　　My　voice　died　in　my　throat　as　I　sought　for　an　answer。　I　was　rescued　by　Lacey's　return。　She　had　recruited　two　serving　men　and　a　couple　of　small　boys。　The　dirty　water　from　my　bath　and　my　dishes　was　whisked　away　by　them　while　Lacey　set　out　a　tray　of　small　pastries　and　two　more　cups；　and　measured　out　fresh　brewing　herbs　for　another　pot　of　tea。　Patience　and　I　were　silent　until　the　serving　folk　left　the　room。　Lacey　made　the　tea；　poured　cups　for　all；　and　then　settled　herself　with　her　everpresent　tatting。
　　　　　　　〃It　is　precisely　because　of　who　you　are　that　this　is　more　than　a　misunderstanding。〃　Patience　launched　back　into　the　topic；　as　if　I　had　never　dared　interrupt。　〃If　you　were　just　Fedwren's　apprentice；　or　a　stable　hand；　then　you　would　be　free　to　court　and　marry　however　you　wished。　But　you　are　not；　FitzChivalry　Farseer。　You　are　of　the　royal　blood。　Even　a　bastard〃…she　stumbled　slightly　on　the　wordof　that　line　must　observe　certain　customs。　And　practice　certain　discretions。　Consider　your　position　in　the　royal　household。　You　must　have　the　King's　permission　to　marry。　Surely　you　are　aware　of　that。　Courtesy　to　King　Shrewd　demanded　that　you　inform　him　of　your　intention　to　court　so　that　he　might　consider　the　case's　merits；　and　tell　you　if　it　pleased　him　or　not。　He　would　consider　it。　Is　it　a　good　time　for　you　to　wed？　Does　it　benefit　the　throne？　Is　the　match　an　acceptable　one；　or　is　it　likely　to　cause　scandal？　Will　your　courting　interfere　with　your　duties？　Are　the　lady's　bloodlines　acceptable？　Does　the　King　wish　you　to　have　offspring？〃
　　　　　　　With　each　question　she　posed；　I　felt　the　shock　go　deeper。　I　lay　back　on　my　pillows　and　stared　at　the　bed　hangings。　I　had　never　really　set　out　to　court　Molly。　From　a　childhood　friendship；　we　had　drifted　to　a　deeper　panionship。　I　had　known　how　my　heart　wished　it　to　go；　but　my　head　had　never　stopped　to　consider　it。　She　read　my　face　plainly。
　　　　　　　〃Remember；　too；　FitzChivalry；　that　you　have　already　sworn　an　oath　to　another。　Your　life　belongs　to　your　king　already。　What　would　you　offer　Molly　if　you　wed　her？　His　leavings？　The　bits　of　time　that　he　did　not　demand？　A　man　whose　duty　is　sworn　to　a　King　has　little　time　for　anyone　else　in　his　life。〃　Tears　stood　suddenly　in　her　eyes。　〃Some　women　are　willing　to　take　what　such　a　man　can　honestly　offer；　and　content　themselves　with　it。　For　others；　it　is　not　enough。　Could　never　be　enough。　You　must　。。。〃　She　hesitated；　and　it　seemed　as　if　the　words　were　wrung　from　her。　〃You　must　consider　that。　One　horse　cannot　bear　two　saddles。　However　much　he　may　wish　to　。。。〃　Her　voice　dwindled　off　on　the　last　words。　She　closed　her　eyes　as　if　something　hurt　her。　Then　she　took　a　breath　and　went　on　briskly；　as　if　she　had　never　paused；　〃Another　consideration；　FitzChivalry。　Molly　is；　or　was；　a　woman　of　prospects。
　　　　　　　She　has　a　trade；　and　knows　it　well。　I　expect　she　will　be　able　to　reestablish　herself；　after　a　time　of　hiring　out。　But　what　about　you？　What　do　you　bring　to　her？　You　write　a　fair　hand；　but　you　cannot　claim　a　full　scriber's　skills。　You　are　a　good　stable　hand；　yes；　but　that　is　not　how　you　earn　your　bread。　You　are　a　Prince's　bastard。　You　live　in　the　Keep；　you　are　fed；　you　are　clothed。　But　you　have　no　fixed　allowance。　This　could　be　a　fortable　chamber；　for　one　person。　But　did　you　expect　to　bring　Molly　here　to　live　with　you？　Or　did　you　seriously　believe　the　King　would　grant　you　permission　to　leave　Buckkeep？　And　if　he　did；　then　what？　Will　you　live　with　your　wife　and　eat　the　bread　she　earns　with　the　work　of　her　hands；　and　do　naught？　Or　would　you　be　content　to　learn　her　trade；　and　be　a　help　to　her？〃
　　　　　　　She　finally　paused。　She　did　not　expect　me　to　answer　any　of　her　questions。　I　did　not　try。　She　took　a　breath　and　resumed。　〃You　have　behaved　as　a　thoughtless　boy。　I　know　you　meant　no　harm；　and　we　must　see　that　no　harm　es　of　it。　To　anyone。　But　most　especially　to　Molly。　You　have　grown　up　amidst　the　gossip　and　intrigues　of　the　royal　court。　She　has　not。　Will　you　let　it　be　said　she　is　your　concubine；　or　worse；　a　Keep　whore？　For　long　years　now；　Buckkeep　has　been　a　man's　court。　Queen　Desire　was　。。。　the　Queen；　but　she　did　not　hold　court　as　Queen　Constance　did。　We　have　a　Queen　at　Buckkeep　again。　Already；　things　are　different　here；　as　you　will　discover。　If　you　truly　hope　to　make　Molly　your　wife；　she　must　be　brought　into　this　court　a　step　at　a　time。　Or　she　will　find　herself　an　outcast　among　politely　nodding　people。　I　am　speaking　plainly　to　you；　FitzChivalry。　Not　to　be　cruel　to　you。　But　far　better　I　am　cruel　to　you　now　than　that　Molly　live　a　lifetime　of　casual　cruelty。〃　She　spoke　so　calmly；　her　eyes　never　leaving　my　face。
　　　　　　　She　waited　until　I　asked　hopelessly；　〃What　must　I　do？〃
　　　　　　　For　a　moment　she　looked　down　at　her　hands。　Then　she　met　my　eyes　again。　〃For　now；　nothing。　I　mean　exactly　that。　I　have　made　Molly　one　of　my　serving　women。　I　am　teaching　her；　as　best　I　can；　the　ways　of　the　court。　She　is　proving　an　apt　student；　as　well　as　a　most　pleasant　teacher　for　me　in　the　matters　of　herbs　and　scent　making。　I　am　having　Fedwren　teach　her　letters；　something　she　is　most　eager　to　learn。　But　for　now；　that　is　all　that　must　be　happening。　She　must　be　accepted　by　the　women　of　the　court　as　one　of　my　ladies　…　not　the　Bastard's　woman。　After　a　time　you　may　begin　to　call　upon　her。　But　for　now　it　would　be　unseemly　for　you　to　see　her　alone；　or　even　seek　to　see　her　at　all。〃
　　　　　　　〃But　I　need　to　speak　to　her　alone。　Just　once；　just　briefly；　then　I　promise　I'll　abide　by　your　rules。　She　thinks　I　deliberately　deceived　her；　Patience。　She　thinks　I　was　drunk　last　night。　I　have　to　explain　。。。。〃
　　　　　　　But　Patience　was　shaking　her　head　before　the　first　sentence　was　out　of　my　mouth；　and　continued　until　I　faltered　to　a　halt。　〃We　have　already　had　a　sprinkling　of　rumors；　because　she　came　here　seeking　you。　Or　so　the　gossip　was。　I　have　crushed　it；　assuring　everyone　that　Molly　came　to　me　because　she　was　facing　difficulties　and　her　mother　had　been　a　tiring　woman　to　Lady　Heather　during　the　time　of　Queen　Constance's　court。　Which　is　true；　and　hence　she　does　have　the　right　to　seek　me　out；　for　was　not　Lady　Heather　a　friend　to　me　when　first　I　came　to　Buckkeep？〃
　　　　　　　〃Did　you　know　Molly's　mother？〃　I　asked　curiously。
　　　　　　　〃Not　really。　She　had　left；　to　marry　a　chandler；　before　I　came　to　Buckkeep。　But　I　did　know　Lady　Heather；　and　she　was　kind　to　me。〃　She　dismissed　my　question。
　　　　　　　〃But　couldn't　I　e　to　your　chambers；　and　speak　to　her　there；　privately；　and…〃
　　　　　　　〃I　will　not　have　a　scandal！〃　she　declared　firmly。　〃I　will　not　tempt　a　scandal。　Fitz；　you　have　enemies　at　court。　I　will　not　let　Molly　bee　their　victim　for　their　aims　of　hurting　you。　There。　Have　I　spoken　plainly　enough　at　last？〃
　　　　　　　She　had　spoken　plainly；　and　of　things　I　had　believed　her　ignorant。　How　much　did　she　know　of　my　enemies？　Did　she　think　it　merely　social？　Though　that　would　be　enough　at　court。　I　thought　of　Regal；　and　his　sly　witticisms；　and　how　he　could　turn　and　speak　softly　to　his　hangers…on　at　a　feast　and　all　would　smirk　to　one　another　and　add　soft…voiced　ments　to　the　Prince's　criticism。　I　thought　how　I　would　have　to　kill　him。
　　　　　　　〃By　the　set　of　your　jaw；　I　see　you　understand。〃　Patience　arose；　setting　her　teacup　on　the　table。　〃Lacey。　I　believe　we　should　leave　FitzChivalry　to　rest　now。〃
　　　　　　　〃Please；　at　least　tell　her　not　to　be　angry　with　me；〃　I　begged。　〃Tell　her　I　wasn't　drunk　last　night。　Tell　her　I　never　meant　to　deceive　her；　or　to　cause　her　any　harm。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　will　carry　no　such　message！　Nor　shall　you；　Lacey！　Don't　think　I　didn't　see　that　wink。　Both　of　you；　I　insist　that　you　will　be　decorous。　Remember　this；　FitzChivalry。　You　do　not　know　Molly。　Mistress　Chandler。　She　does　not　know　you。　It　is　how　it　must　be。　Now　e；　Lacey。　FitzChivalry；　I　expect　you　to　get　some　rest　tonight。〃
　　　　　　　They　left　me。　Although　I　tried　to　catch　Lacey's　eyes　and　win　her　alliance；　she　refused　to　glance　at　me。　The　door　closed　behind　them　and　I　leaned　back　on　my　pillows。　I　tried　not　to　let　my　mind　rattle　against　the　restrictions　Patience　had　set　upon　me。　Annoying　as　it　was；　she　was　right。　I　could　only　hope　that　Molly　would　see　my　behavior　as　thoughtless　rather　than　deceitful　or　conniving。