cw.imarriedadeadman-第39部分
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d return to it and take it up。 You couldn't see the water actually ing out； because the nozzle was down too flat against the ground； but you could see a sort of irridescent rippling of the grass right there； that told there was something in motion under it。
Then he saw her at her window； and he raised his arm and waved to her； the way he had in the beginning； that first day。 Not because she was she； but because his own world was all in order； and it was a beautiful morning； and he wanted to wave to someone to show them how he felt。
She turned her head away。 Not to avoid his friendly little salutation； but because there was a knocking at her door。 Someone was knocking at her door。
She got up stiffly and walked over toward it； and opened it。
A lonely； lost old man was standing out there； quietly； unassumingly。 Bill's father was standing out there； very wilted； very spent A stranger； mistaking her for a daughter。
〃She just died；〃 he whispered helplessly。 〃Your mother just died； dear。 I didn't know whom to go to； to tell about it…so I came to your door。〃 He seemed unable to do anything but just stand there； limp； baffled。
She stood there without moving either。 That was all she was able to do too。 That was all the help she could give him。
45
The leaves dying； as she had died。 The season was dying。 The old life was dying； was dead。 They had buried it back there just now。
〃How strange；〃 Patrice thought 〃To go on； before one can go on to something new； there has to be death first Always； there has to be a kind of death； of one sort or another； first Just as there has been with me。〃
The leaves were brightly dying。 The misty black of her veil dimmed their apoplectic spasms of scarlet and orange and ochre； tempered them to a more bearable hue in the fiery sunset； as the funeral limousine coursed at stately speed homeward through the countryside。
She sat between Bill and his father。
〃I am the Woman of the Family now；〃 she thought。 〃The only woman of their house and in their house。 That is why I sit between them like this； in place of prominence； and not to the outside。〃
And though she would not have known how to phrase it； even to herself； her own instincts told her that the country and the society she was a part of were basically matriarchal； that it was the woman who was essentially the focus of each home； the head of each little individual family…group。 Not brazenly； aggressively so； not on the outside； but within the walls； where the home really was。 She had succeeded to this primacy now。 The gangling adolescent who had once stood outside a door that wouldn't open。
One she would marry and be his wife。 One she would look after in filial devotion； and ease his loneliness and cushion his decline as best she could。 There was no treachery； no deceit； in her plans； all that was over with and past。
She held Father Hazzard's hand gently clasped in her own； on the one side。 And on the other； her hand curved gracefully up and around the turn of Bill's stalwart arm。 To indicate： You are mine。 And I am yours。
The limousine had halted。 Bill got out and armed her down。 Then they both helped his father and； one on each side of him； walked slowly with him up the familiar terraced flagstones to the familiar door。
Bill sounded the knocker； and Aunt Josie 's deputy opened the door for them with all the alacrity of the novice。 Aunt Josie herself； of course； a titular member of the family； had attended the services with them； was on her way back now in the lesser of the two limousines。
She closed the door in respectful silence； and they were home。
It was she who first saw them； Patrice。 They were in the library。
Bill and his father； going on ahead； supporting arm about waist； had passed the open doorway obliviously。 She had lingered behind for a moment； to give some muted necessary orders。
〃Yes； Mrs。 Hazzard；〃 Aunt Josie 's deputy said docilely。
Yes； Mrs。 Hazzard。 That was the first time she had heard it （Aunt Josie always called her 〃Miss Pat〃）； but she would have that now all her life； as her due。 Her mind rolled it around on its tongue； savoring it Yes； Mrs。 Hazzard。 Position。 Security。 Impregnability。 The end of a journey。
Then she moved forward and； passing the doorway； saw them。
They were sitting in there； both facing it Two men。 The very way they held their heads…they were not apologetic； they were not disclaiming enough； for such a time and such a place and such a visit。 Their faces； as she met them； did not say： 〃Whenever you are ready。〃 Their faces said： 〃We are ready for you now。 e in to us。〃
Fear put out a long finger and touched her heart。 She had stopped。
〃Who are those two men？〃 she breathed to the girl who had let her in。 〃What are they doing in there？〃
〃Oh； I forgot。 They came here about twenty minutes ago； asking to see Mr。 Hazzard。 I explained about the funeral； and suggested maybe they'd better e back later。 But they said no； they said they'd wait I couldn't do anything with them。 So I just let them be。〃
She went on past the opening。 〃He's in no condition to speak to anyone now。 You'll have to go in there and…〃
〃Oh； not old Mr。 Hazzard。 It's Mr。 Hazzard his son they want。〃
She knew then。 Their faces had already told her； the grim way they had both sized her up that fleeting second or two she had stood in the doorway。 People didn't stare at you like that； just ordinary people。 Punitive agents did。 Those empowered by law to seek out； and identify； and question。
The finger had bee a whole icy hand now； twisting and crushing her heart in its grip。
Detectives。 Already。 So soon； so relentlessly； so fatally soon。 And today of all days； on this very day。
The copybooks were right； the texts that said the police were infallible。
She turned and hurried up the stairs； to overtake Bill and his father； nearing the top now； still linked in considerate； toiling ascent。
Bill turned his head inquiringly at sound of her hasty step behind them。 Father Ha。zzard didn't What was any step to him any more？ The only one he wanted to hear would never sound again。
She made a little sign to Bill behind his father's back。 A quick little quirk of the finger to show that this was something to be kept between the two of them alone。 Then said； trying to keep her voice casual； 〃Bill； as soon as you take Father to his room； I want to see you for a minute。 Will you e out？〃
He came upon her in her own room； in the act of lowering an emptied brandy…jigger from her lips。 He looked at her curiously。
〃What'd you do； get a chill out there？〃
〃I did；〃 she said。 〃But not out there。 Here。 Just now。〃
〃You seem to be shaking。〃
〃I am。 Close the door。〃 And when he had； 〃Is he sleeping？〃
〃He will be in another minute or two。 Aunt Josie's giving him a little more of that sedative the doctor left〃
She kneaded her hands together； as though she were trying to break each bone separately。 〃They're here； Bill。 About the other night They're here already。〃
He didn't have to ask； he knew what she meant by 〃the other night。〃 There was only one other night for them； there would always be only one； from now on。 As the nights multiplied； it would bee 〃that night；〃 perhaps； that was the only alteration。
〃How do you know？ Did they tell you？〃
〃They don't have to。 I know。〃 She snatched at his coat…lapels； as though she were trying to rip them off him。 〃What are we going to do？〃
〃We are not going to do anything；〃 he said with meaning。 〃I'll do whatever is to be done about it〃
〃Who's that？〃 she shuddered； and crushed herself close to him。 Her teeth were almost chattering with nervous tension。
〃Who is it？〃 he asked at full voice。
〃Aunt Josie；〃 came through the door。
〃Let go of me；〃 he cautioned in an undertone。 〃All right； Aunt Josie。〃
She put her head in and said； 〃Those two men that're down there； they said they can't wait for Mr。 Hazzard any more。〃
For a moment a little hope wormed its way through her stricken heart。
〃They said if he don't e down； they'll have to e up here。〃
〃What do they want？ Did they tell you？〃 he said to Aunt Josie。
〃I asked 'em twice； and each time they said the same thing。 'Mr。 Hazzard。' What kind of an answer is
