一无所有-第50部分

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



Takver　was　pregnant。　Mostly　she　was　sleepy　and　benign。　〃I　am　a　fish；〃　she　said；　〃a　fish　in　water。　I　am　inside　the　baby　inside　me。〃　But　at　times　she　was　overtaxed　by　her　work；　or　left　hungry　by　the　slightly　decreased　meals　at　mons。　Pregnant　women；　like　children　and　old　people；　could　get　a　light　extra　meal　daily；　lunch　at　eleven；　but　she　often　missed　this　because　of　the　exacting　schedule　of　her　work。　She　could　miss　a　meal；　but　the　fish　in　her　laboratory　tanks　could　not。　Friends　often　brought　by　something　saved　out　from　their　dinner　or　left　over　at　their　mons；　a　filled　bun　or　a　piece　of　fruit。　She　ate　all　gratefully　but　continued　to　crave　sweets；　and　sweets　were　in　short　supply。　When　she　was　tired　she　was　anxious　and　easily　upset；　and　her　temper　flared　at　a　word。

Late　in　the　autumn　Shevek　pleted　the　manuscript　of　the　Principles　of　Simultaneity。　He　gave　it　to　Sabul　for　approval　for　the　press。　Sabul　kept　it　for　a　decad；　two　decads；　three　decads；　and　said　nothing　about　it。　Shevek　asked　him　about　it。　He　replied　that　he　had　not　yet　got　around　to　reading　it；　he　was　too　busy。　Shevek　waited。　It　was　midwinter。　The　dry　wind　blew　day　after　day；　the　ground　was　frozen。　Everything　seemed　to　have　e　to　a　halt。　an　uneasy　halt；　waiting　for　rain；　for　birth。

The　room　was　dark。　The　lights　had　just　e　on　in　the　city；　they　looked　weak　under　the　high；　darkgrey　sky。　Takver　came　in；　lit　the　lamp；　crouched　down　in　her　overcoat　by　the　heat　grating。　〃Oh　it's　cold！　Awful。　My　feet　feel　like　Fve　been　walking　on　glaciers；　I　nearly　cried　on　the　way　home　they　hurt　so。　Rotten　profiteering　boots'　Why　can't　we　make　a　decent　pair　of　boots？　What　are　you　sitting　in　the　dark　for？〃

〃I　don't　know。〃

〃Did　you　go　to　mons？　I　got　a　bite　at　Surplus　on　the　way　home。　I　had　to　stay；　the　kukuri　eggs　were　hatching　and　we　had　to　get　the　fry　out　of　the　tanks　before　the　adults　ate　them。　Did　you　eat？〃

〃No。〃

〃Don't　be　sulky。　Please　don't　be　sulky　tonight　If　one　more　thing　goes　wrong；　I'll　cry。　I'm　sick　of　crying　all　the　time。　Damned　stupid　hormones！　I　wish　I　could　have　babies　like　the　fish；　lay　the　eggs　and　swim　off　and　that's　the　end　of　it。　Unless　I　swam　back　and　ate　them。　。。　。　Don't　sit　and　look　like　a　statue　like　that。　I　just　can't　stand　it。〃　She　was　slightly　in　tears；　as　she　crouched　by　the　breath　of　heat　from　the　grating；　trying　to　unfasten　her　boots　with　stiff　fingers。

Shevek　said　nothing。

〃What　is　it？　You　can't　just　sit　there！〃　

〃Sabul　called　me　in　today。　He　won't　remend　the　Principles　for　publication；　or　export。〃

Takver　stopped　struggling　with　the　bootlace　and　sat　still。　She　looked　at　Shevek　over　her　shoulder。　At　last　she　said；　〃What　did　he　say　exactly？〃

〃The　critique　he　wrote　is　on　the　table。〃

She　got　up；　shuffled　over　to　the　table　wearing　one　boot；　and　read　the　paper；　leaning　over　the　table；　her　hands　in　her　coat　pockets。

〃'That　Sequency　Physics　is　the　highroad　of　chronpsophical　thought　in　the　Odonian　Society　has　been　a　mutually　agreed　principle　since　the　Settlement　of　Anarres。　Egoistic　divagation　from　this　solidarity　of　principle　can　result　only　in　sterile　spinning　of　impractical　hypotheses　without　social　anic　utility；　or　repetition　of　the　superstitiousreligious　speculations　of　the　irresponsible　hired　scientists　of　the　Profit　States　of　Urras。'　。　。　。　Oh；　the　profiteer！　The　pettyminded；　envious　little　Odospouter！　Will　he　send　this　critique　to　the　Press？〃

〃He's　done　so。〃

She　knelt　to　wrestle　off　her　boots。　She　glanced　up　several　times　at　Shevek；　but　she　did　not　go　to　him　or　try　to　touch　him；　and　for　some　while　she　did　not　say　anything。　When　she　spoke　her　voice　was　not　loud　and　strained　as　before；　but　had　its　natural　husky；　furry　quality。　〃What　will　you　do；　Shev？〃

〃There's　nothing　to　do。〃

〃We'll　print　the　book。　Form　a　printing　syndicate；　learn　to　set　type；　and　do　it。〃

〃Paper's　at　minimum　ration。　No　nonessential　printing。　　Only　PDC　publications；　few　of　the　treeholum　plantations　are
safe。〃

〃Then　can　you　change　the　presentation　somehow？　Disguise　what　you　say。　Decorate　it　ings。　So　that　he'll　accept　it。〃

〃You　can't　disguise　black　as　white。〃

She　did　not　ask　if　he　could　bypass　Sabul　or　go　over　his　head。　Nobody　on　Anarres　was　supposed　to　be　over　anybody's　head。　There　were　no　bypasses。　If　you　could　not　work　in　solidarity　with　your　syndics；　you　worked　alone。

〃What　if　。。。〃　She　stopped。　She　got　up　and　put　her　boots　by　the　heater　to　dry。　She　took　off　her　coat；　hung　it　up；　and　put　a　heavy　handloomed　shawl　over　her　shoulders。　She　sat　down　on　the　bed　platform；　grunting　a　little　as　she　lowered　herself　the　last　few　inches。　She　looked　up　at　Shevek；　who　sat　in　profile　between　her　and　the　windows。

〃What　if　you　offered　to　let　him　sign　as　coauthor？　Like　the　first　paper　you　wrote。〃

〃Sabul　won't　put　his　name　to　'superstitiousreligious　speculations。'〃

〃Are　you　sure？　Are　you　sure　that　isn't　Just　what　he　wants？　He　knows　what　this　is；　what　you've　done。　You've　always　said　he's　shrewd。　He　knows　it'll　put　him　and　the　whole　Sequency　school　in　the　recycle　bin。　But　if　he　could　share　with　you；　share　the　credit？　All　he　is；　is　ego。　If　he　could　say　that　it　was　his　book　。　。。〃

Shevek　said　bitterly；　〃I'd　as　soon　share　you　with　him　as　that　book。〃

〃Don't　look　at　it　that　way；　Shev。　Ifs　the　book　that's　important　—　the　ideas。　Listen。　We　want　to　keep　this　child　to　be　born　with　us　as　a　baby；　we　want　to　love　it。　But　if　for　some　reason　it　would　die　if　we　kept　it；　it　could　only　live　in　a　nursery；　if　we　never　could　set　eyes　on　it　or　know　its　name　—　if　we　had　that　choice；　which　would　we　choose？　To　keep　the　stillborn？　Or　to　give　life？〃

〃I　don't　know；〃　he　said。　He　put　his　head　in　his　hands；　rubbing　his　forehead　painfully。　〃Yes；　of　course。　Yes。　But　this　—　But　I—〃

〃Brother；　dear　heart；〃　Takver　said。　She　clenched　her　hands　together　on　her　lap；　but　she　did　not　reach　out　to　him。　〃It　doesn't　matter　what　name　is　on　the　book。　People　will　know。　The　truth　is　the　book。〃

〃I　am　that　book；〃　he　said。　Then　he　shut　his　eyes；　and　sat　motionless。　Takver　went　to　him　then；　timidly；　touching　him　as　gently　as　if　she　touched　a　wound。



Early　in　the　year　164　the　first；　inplete；　drastically　edited　version　of　the　Principles　of　Simultaneity　was　printed　in　Abbenay；　with　Sabul　and　Shevek　as　joint　authors。　PDC　was　printing　only　essential　records　and　directives；　but　Sabul　had　influence　at　the　Press　and　in　the　Information　division　of　PDC；　and　had　persuaded　them　of　the　propaganda　value　of　the　book　abroad。　Urras；　he　said；　was　rejoicing　over　the　drought　and　possible　famine　on　Anarres；　the　last　shipment　of　loti　journals　was　full　of　gloating　prophecies　of　the　imminent　collapse　of　the　Odonian　economy。　What　better　denial；　said　Sabul；　than　the　publication　of　a　major　work　of　pure　thought；　〃a　monument　of　science；〃　he　said　in　his　revised　critique；　〃soaring　above　material　adversity　to　prove　the　unquenchable　vitality　of　the　Odonian　Society　and　its　triumph　over　archist　propertarianism　in　every　area　of　human　thought。〃

So　the　work　was　printed；　and　fifteen　of　the　three　hundred　copies　went　aboard　the　loti　freighter　Mindful。　Shevek　never　opened　a　copy　of　the　printed　book。　In　the　export　packet；　however；　he　put　a　copy　of　the　original；　plete　manuscript；　handwritten。　A　note　on　the　cover　asked　that　it　be　given　to　Dr。　Atro　of　the　College　of　the　Noble　Science　of　leu　Eun　University；　with　the　pliments　of　the　author。　It　was　certain　that　Sabul；　who　gave　final　approval　to　the　packet；　would　notice　the　addition。　Whether　he　took　the　manuscript　out　or　left　it　in；　Shevek　did　not　know。　He　might　confiscate　it　out　of　spite；　he　might　let　it　go；　knowing　that　his　emasculated　abridgment　would　not　have　the　desired　effect　on　Urrasti　physicists。　He　said　nothing　about　the　manuscript　to　Shevek。　Shevek　did　not　ask　about　it。

Shevek　said　very　little　to　anyone；　that　spring。　He　took　on　a　volunteer　posting；　construction　work　on　a　new　waterrecycling　plant　in　South　Abbenay；　and　was　away　at　that　work　or　teaching　most　of　the　day。　He　returned　to　his　studies　in　subatomics；　often　spending　evenings　at　the　Institute's　accelerator　or　the　laboratories　with　the　particle　specialists。　With　Takver　and　their　friends　he　was　quiet；　sober；　gentle；　and　cold。

Takver　got　very　big　in　the　belly　and　walked　like　a　person　carrying　a　large；　heavy　ba