一无所有-第51部分
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Takver got very big in the belly and walked like a person carrying a large； heavy basket of laundry。 She stayed at work at the fish labs till she had found and trained an adequate replacement for herself； then she came home and began labor； more than a decad past her time。 Shevek arrived home in midafternoon。 〃You might go fetch the midwife；〃 Takver said。 'Tell her the contractions are four or five minutes apart； but they're not speeding up much； so don't hurry very much。〃
He hurried； and when the midwife was out； he gave way to panic。 Both the midwife and the block medic were out； and neither had left a note on the door saying where they could be found； as they usually did Shevek's heart began pounding in his chest； and he saw things suddenly with a dreadful clarity。 He saw that this absence of help was an evil omen。 He had withdrawn from Takver since the winter； since the decision about the book。 She had been increasingly quiet； passive； patient。 He understood that passivity now： it was a preparation for her deaths。 It was she who had withdrawn from him； and he had not tried to follow her。 He had looked only at his own bitterness of heart； and never at her fear； or courage。 He had let her alone because he wanted to be let alone； and so she had gone on； gone far； too far； would go on alone； forever。
He ran to the block clinic； arriving so out of breath and unsteady on his legs that they thought he was having a heart attack。 He explained。 They sent a message off to another midwife and told him to go home； the partner would be wanting pany。 He went home； and at every stride the panic in him grew； the terror； the certainty of loss。
But once there he could not kneel by Takver and ask her fiveness； as he wanted desperately to do。 Takver had no time for emotional scenes； she was busy。 She had cleared the bed platform except for a clean sheet； and she was at work bearing a child。 She did not howl or scream； as she was not in pain； but when each contraction came she managed it by muscle and breath control； and then let out a great fwuff of breath； like one who makes a terrific effort to lift a heavy weight。 Shevek had never seen any work that so used all the strength of the body。
He could not look on such work without trying to help in it。 He could serve as handhold and brace when she needed leverage。 They found this arrangement very quickly by trial and error； and kept to it after the midwife had e in。 Takver gave birth afoot； squatting； her face against Shevek's thigh； her hands gripping his braced arms。 〃There you are；〃 the midwife said quietly under the hard； enginelike pounding of Takver's breathing； and she took the slimy but recognizably human creature that had appeared。 A gush of blood followed； and an amorphous； mass of something not human； not alive。 The terror he had fotten came back into Shevek redoubled。 It was death he saw。 Takver had let go his arms and p at his feet He bent over her； stiff with horror and grief。
〃That's it；〃 said the midwife； 〃help her move aside so I can clean this up。〃
〃I want to wash；〃 Takver said feebly。
〃Here； help her wash up。 Those are sterile cloths — there。〃
〃Waw； waw； waw；〃 said another voice。
The room seemed to be full of people。
〃Now then；〃 the midwife said。 〃Here； get that baby back with her； at the breast； to help shut off the bloodflow。 I want to get this placenta to the freezer in the clinic。 I'll be ten minutes。〃
〃Where is — Where is the—〃
〃In the crib！〃 said the midwife； leaving。 Shevek located the very small bed； which had been standing ready in the corner for four decads； and the infant in it。 Somehow in this extreme rush of events the midwife had found time to clean the infant and even put a gown on it； so that it was not so fishlike and slippery as when he had seen it first。 The afternoon had got dark； with the same peculiar rapidity and lack of time lapse。 The lamp was on。 Shevek picked up the baby to take it to Takver。 Its face was incredibly small； with large； fragilelooking； closed eyelids。 〃Give it here；〃 Takver was saying。 〃Oh； do hurry up；
please give it to me。〃
He brought it across the room and very cautiously lowered it onto Takver's stomach。 〃Ah！〃 she said softly； a call of pure triumph。
〃What is it？〃 she asked after a while； sleepily。
Shevek was sitting beside her on the edge of the bed platform。 He carefully investigated； somewhat taken aback by the length of gown as contrasted with the extreme shortness of limb。 〃Girl。〃
The midwife came back； went around putting things to rights。 〃You did a firstrate job；〃 she remarked； to both of them。 They assented mildly。 〃I'll look in in the rooming；〃 she said leaving。 The baby and Takver were already asleep。 Shevek put his head down near Takver's。 He was accustomed to the pleasant musky smell of her skin。 This had changed； it had bee a perfume； heavy and faint； heavy with sleep。 Very gently he put one arm over her as she lay on her side with the baby against her breast In the room heavy with life he slept。
An Odonian undertook monogamy just as he might undertake a joint enterprise in production； a ballet or a soap works。 Partnership was a voluntarily constituted federation like any other。 So long as it worked； it worked； and if it didn't work it stopped being。 It was not an institution but a function。 It had no sanction but that of private conscience。
This was fully in accord with Odonian social theory。 The validity of the promise； even promise of indefinite term； was deep in the grain of Odo's thinking； though it might seem that her insistence on freedom to change would invalidate the idea of promise or vow； in fact the freedom made the promise meaningful。 A promise is a direction taken； a selflimitation of choice。 As Odo pointed out； if no direction is taken； if one goes nowhere； no change will occur。 One's freedom to choose and to change will be unused； exactly as if one were in jail； a jail of one's own building； a maze in which no one way is better than any other。 So Odo came to see the promise； the pledge； the idea of fidelity； as essential in the plexity of freedom。
Many people felt that this idea of fidelity was misapplied to sexual life。 Odo's femininity swayed her； they said； towards a refusal of real sexual freedom； here； if nowhere else； Odo did not write for men。 As many women as men made this criticism； so it would appear that it was not masculinity that Odo failed to understand； but a whole type of section of humanity； people to whom experiment is the soul of sexual pleasure。
Though she may not have understood them； and probably considered them propertarian aberrations from the norm — the human species being； if not a pairbonding species； yet a timebinding one — still she provided better for the promiscuous than for those who tried longterm partnership。 No law； no limit； no penalty； no punishment； no disapproval applied to any sexual practice of any kind； except the rape of a child or woman； for which the rapist's neighbors were likely to provide summary revenge if he did not get promptly into the gentler hands of a therapy center。 But molestation was extremely rare in a society where plete fulfillment was the norm from puberty on； and the only social limit imposed on sexual activity was the mild one of pressure in favor of privacy； a kind of modesty imposed by the munality of life。
On the other hand； those who undertook to form and keep a partnership； whether homosexual or heterosexual； met with problems unknown to those content with sex wherever they found it。 They must face not only jealousy and possessiveness and the other diseases of passion for which monogamous union provides such a fine medium of growth； but also the external pressures of social anization。 A couple that undertook partnership did so knowing that they might be separated at any time by the exigencies of labor distribution。
Divlab； the administration of the division of labor； tried to keep couples together； and to reunite them as soon as possible on request； but it could not always be done； especially in urgent levies； nor did anyone expect Divlab to remake whole lists and reprogram puters trying to do it。 To survive； to make a go of life； an Anarresti knew he had to be ready t
