一无所有-第55部分

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happy　partnership　that　way。　That's　why　they　did　it；　you　know。　They're　against　partnerships；　you　can　see　it　all　the　time；　they　intentionally　post　partners　apart。　That's　what　happened　with　me　and　Labeks；　exactly　the　same　thing。　We'll　never　get　back　together。　Not　with　the　whole　of　Divlab　lined　up　against　us。　There's　the　little　empty　crib。　Poor　little　thing！　She　never　ceased　crying　these　four　decads；　day　and　night。　Kept　me　awake　for　hours。　It's　the　shortages；　of　course；　Takver　just　didn't　have　enough　milk。　And　then　to　send　a　nursing　mother　off　to　a　posting　hundreds　of　miles　away　like　that；　imagine！　I　don't　suppose　you'll　be　able　to　join　her　there；　where　is　it　they　sent　her　to？〃

〃Northeast　I　want　to　get　over　to　breakfast；　Bunub。

〃I'm　hungry。〃

〃Isn't　it　typical　how　they　did　it　while　you　were　away。

〃Did　what　while　I　was　away？〃

〃Sent　her　away　—　broke　up　the　partnership。〃　She　was　reading　Sabul's　note；　which　she　had　uncrumpled　with　care。　〃They　know　when　to　move　inl　I　suppose　you'll　be　leaving　this　room　now；　wont　you？　They　won't　let　you　keep　a　double。　Takver　talked　about　ing　back　soon；　but　I　could　see　she　was　just　trying　to　keep　her　spirits　up。　Freedom；　we're　supposed　to　be　free；　big　Joke！　Pushed　around　from　here　to　there—〃

〃Oh；　by　damn；　Bunub；　if　Takver　hadn't　wanted　the　posting　she'd　have　refused　it。　You　know　we're　facing　a　famine。〃

〃Well。　I　wondered　if　she　hadn't　been　looking　for　a　move。　It　often　happens　after　a　baby　es。　I　thought　long　ago　you　should　have　given　that　baby　to　a　nursery。　The　amount　it　cried。　Children　e　between　partners。　Tie　them　down。　It's　only　natural；　as　you　say；　that　she　should　have　been　looking　for　a　change；　and　jumped　at　it　when　she　got　it〃

〃I　did　not　say　that。　I'm　going　to　breakfast。〃　He　strode　out；　quivering　at　five　or　six　sensitive　spots　which　Bunub　had　accurately　wounded。　The　horror　of　the　woman　was　that　she　voiced　all　his　own　most　despicable　fears。　She　now　stayed　behind　in　the　room；　probably　to　plan　her　move　into　it。

He　had　overslept　and　got　to　mons　just　before　they　closed　the　doors。　Ravenous　still　from　the　journey；　he　took　a　double　helping　of　both　porridge　and　bread。　The　boy　behind　the　serving　tables　looked　at　him　frowning。　These　days　nobody　took　double　helpings。　Shevek　stared　frowning　back　and　said　nothing。　He　had　gone　eightyodd　hours　now　on　two　bowls　of　soup　and　one　kilo　of　bread；　and　he　had　a　right　to　make　up　for　what　he　had　missed；　but　he　was　damned　if　he　would　explain。　Existence　is　its　own　justification；　need　is　right　He　was　an　Odoniaa；　he　left　guilt　to　profiteers。

He　sat　down　by　himself；　but　Desar　joined　him　immediately；　smiling；　staring　at　or　beside　him　with　disconcerting　wall　eyes。　〃Been　gone　while；〃　Desar　said。

〃Farm　draft。　Six　decads。　How　have　things　been　here？〃

〃Lean。〃

〃They'll　get　leaner。〃　Shevek　said；　but　without　real　conviction；　for　he　was　eating；　and　the　porridge　tasted　exceedingly　good。　Frustration；　anxiety；　famine！　said　his　forebrain；　seat　of　intellect；　but　his　hindbrain；　squatting　in　unrepentant　savagery　back　in　the　deep　skull's　darkness；　said　Food　now！　Food　now！　Good；　good！

〃Seen　Sabul？〃

〃No。　I　got　in　late　last　night。〃　He　glanced　up　at　Desar　and　said　with　attempted　indifference；　'Takver　got　a　famine　posting；　she　had　to　leave　four　days　ago。〃

Desar　nodded　with　genuine　indifference。　〃Heard　that。　You　hear　about　Institute　reanizing？〃

〃No。　What's　up？〃

The　mathematician　spread　out　his　long；　slender　hands　on　me　table　and　looked　down　at　them。　He　was　always　tonguetied　and　telegraphic；　in　fact；　he　stammered；　but　whether　it　was　a　verbal　or　a　moral　stammer　Shevek　had　never　decided。　As　he　had　always　liked　Desar　without　knowing　why；　so　there　were　moments　when　he　disliked　Desar　intensely；　again　without　knowing　why。　This　was　one　of　the　moments。　There　was　a　slyness　in　the　expression　of　Desar's　mouth；　his　downcast　eyes；　like　Bunub's　downcast　eyes。

〃Shakedown。　Cutting　back　to　functional　staff。　Shipeg's　out。〃　Shipeg　was　a　notoriously　stupid　mathematician　who　had　always　managed；　by　assiduous　flattery　of　students；　to　get　himself　one　studentrequisitioned　course　each　term。　〃Sent　him　off。　Some　regional　institute。〃

〃He'd　do　less　harm　hoeing　groundholum；〃　Shevek　said。　Now　that　he　was　fed；　it　appeared　to　him　that　the　drought　might　after　all　be　of　service　to　the　social　anism。　The　priorities　were　being　clear　again。　Weaknesses；　soft　spots；　sick　spots　would　be　scoured　out；　sluggish　ans　restored　to　full　function；　the　fat　would　be　trimmed　off　the　body　politic。

〃Put　in　word　for　you。　Institute　meeting；〃　Desar　said；　looking　up　but　not　meeting；　because　he　could　not　meet；　Shevek's　eyes。　As　he　spoke；　though　Shevek　did　not　yet　understand　what　he　meant；　he　knew　that　Desar　was　lying。　He　knew　it　positively。　Desar　had　not　put　in　a　word　for　him；　but　a　word　against　him。

The　reason　for　his　moments　of　detesting　Desar　was　clear　to　him　now：　a　recognition；　heretofore　unadmitted；　of　the　element　of　pure　malice　in　Desar's　personality。　That　Desar　also　loved　him　and　was　trying　to　gain　power　over　him　was　equally　clear；　and；　to　Shevek；　equally　detestable。　The　devious　ways　of　posseasivenesa；　the　labyrinths　of　love/hate；　were　meaningless　to　him。　Arrogant；　intolerant；　he　walked　right　through　their　walls。　He　did　not　speak　again　to　the　mathematician；　but　finished　his　breakfast　and　went　off　across　the　quadrangle；　through　the　bright　morning　of　early　autumn；　to　the　physics　office。

He　went　to　the　back　room　which　everybody　called　〃Sabul's　office；〃　the　room　where　they　had　first　met；　where　Sabul　had　given　him　the　grammar　and　dictionary　of　lotic。　Sabul　looked　up　warily　across　the　desk；　looked　down　again；　busy　with　papers；　the　hardworking；　abstracted　scientist　then　allowed　awareness　of　Shevek's　presence　to　seep　into　his　overloaded　brain；　then　became；　for　him；　effusive。　He　looked　thin　and　aged；　and　when　he　got　up　he　stooped　more　than　he　had　used　to　do；　a　placating　kind　of　stoop。　〃Bad　times；〃　he　said。　〃Eh？　Bad　times！〃

〃They'll　get　worse；〃　Shevek　said　lightly。　〃How's　everything　here？〃

〃Bad；　bad。〃　Sabul　shook　his　grizzled　head。　〃This　is　a　bad　time　for　pure　science；　for　the　intellectual。〃

〃Is　there　ever　a　good　one？〃

Sabul　produced　an　unnatural　chuckle。

〃Did　anything　e　in　for　us　on　the　summer　shipments　from　Urras？〃　Shevek　inquired；　clearing　off　sitting　room　on　the　bench。　He　sat　down　and　crossed　his　legs。　His　light　skin　had　tanned　and　the　fine　down　that　covered　his　face　had　bleached　to　silver　while　he　worked　in　the　fields　in　Southrising。　He　looked　spare；　and　sound；　and　young；　pared　to　Sabul。　Both　men　were　aware　of　the　contrast

〃Nothing　of　interest。〃

〃No　reviews　of　the　Principles？〃

〃No。〃　Sabul's　tone　was　surly；　more　like　himself。

〃No　letters？〃

〃No。〃

〃That's　odd。〃

〃What's　odd　about　it？　What　did　you　expect；　a　lectureship　at　leu　Eun　University？　The　Seo　Oen　Prize？〃

〃I　expected　reviews　and　replies。　There's　been　time。〃　He　said　this　as　Sabul　said；　〃Hardly　been　time　for　reviews　yet〃

There　was　a　pause。

〃You'll　have　to　realize；　Shevek；　that　a　mere　conviction　of　rightness　isn't　selfjustifying。　You　worked　hard　on　the　book；　I　know。　I　worked　hard　editing　if　too；　trying　to　make　clear　that　it　wasn't　just　an　irresponsible　attack　on　Sequency　theory；　but　had　positive　aspects。　But　if　other　physicists　don't　see　value　in　your　work；　then　you've　got　to　begin　looking　at　the　values　you　hold　and　seeing　where　the　discrepancy　lies。　If　it　means　nothing　to　other　people；　what's　the　good　of　it？　What's　its　function？〃

〃I'm　a　physicist；　not　a　functions　analyst；〃　Shevek　said　amiably。

〃Every　Odonian　has　to　be　a　functions　analyst　You're　thirty；　aren't　you？　By　that　age　a　man　should　know　not　only　his　cellular　function　but　his　anic　function　—　what　his　optimum　role　in　the　social　anism　is。　You　haven't　had　to　think　about　that；　perhaps；　as　much　as　most　people〃

〃No。　Since　I　was　ten　or　twelve　I've　known　what　kind　of　work　I　had　to　do。〃

〃What　a　boy　thinks　he　likes　to　do　isn't　always　what　his　society　needs　from　him。〃

〃I'm　thirty；　as　you　say。　Rather　an　old　boy。〃

〃You've　reached　that　age　in　an　unusually　sheltered；　protected　environment　First　the　Northsetting　Regional　Institute—〃

〃And　a　forest　project；　and　farm　projects；　and　practical　trainingi　and　block　mittees；　and　volunteer　work　since　the　drou