一无所有-第72部分

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could　find　out　what's　happening　at　home　now；　not　eleven　years　ago。　And　decisions　could　be　made；　and　agreements　reached；　and　information　shared。　I　could　talk　to　diplomats　on　Chiffewar；　you　could　talk　to　physicists　on　Hain；　it　wouldn't　take　ideas　a　generation　to　get　from　world　to　world。　。。。　Do　you　know；　Shevek；　I　think　your　very　simple　matter　might　change　the　lives　of　all　the　billions　of　people　in　the　nine　Known　Worlds？〃

He　nodded。

〃It　would　make　a　league　of　worlds　possible。　A　federation。　We　have　been　held　apart　by　the　years；　the　decades　between　leaving　and　arriving；　between　question　and　response。　It's　as　if　you　had　invented　human　speech！　We　can　talk　—　at　last　we　can　talk　together。〃

〃And　what　will　you　say？〃

His　bitterness　startled　Keng。　She　looked　at　him　and　said　nothing。

He　leaned　forward　in　his　chair　and　nibbed　his　forehead　painfully。　〃Look；〃　he　said；　〃I　must　explain　to　you　why　I　have　e　to　you；　and　why　I　came　to　this　world　also。　I　came　for　the　idea。　For　the　sake　of　the　idea。　To　learn；　to　teach；　to　share　in　the　idea。　On　Anarres；　you　see；　we　have　cut　ourselves　off。　We　don't　talk　with　other　people；　the　rest　of　humanity。　I　could　not　finish　my　work　there。　And　if　I　had　been　able　to　finish　it；　they　did　not　want　it；　they　saw　no　use　in　it　So　I　came　here。　Here　is　what　I　need　—　die　talk；　the　sharing；　an　experiment　in　the　Light　Laboratory　that　proves　something　it　wasn't　meant　to　prove；　a　book　of　Relativity　Theory　from　an　alien　world；　the　stimulus　I　need。　And　so　I　finished　the　work；　at　last。　It　is　not　written　out　yet　but　I　have　the　equations　and　the　reasoning；　it　is　done。　But　the　ideas　in　my　head　aren't　the　only　ones　important　to　me。　My　society　is　also　an　idea。　I　was　made　by　it。　An　idea　of　freedom；　of　change；　of　human　solidarity；　an　important　idea。　And　though　I　was　very　stupid　I　saw　at　last　that　by　pursuing　the　one；　the　physics；　I　am　betraying　the　other。　I　am　letting　the　propertarians　buy　the　truth　from　me。〃

〃What　else　could　you　do；　Shevek？〃

〃Is　there　no　alternative　to　selling？　Is　there　not　such　a　thing　as　the　gift？〃

〃Yes—〃

〃Do　you　not　understand　that　I　want　to　give　this　to　you　—　and　to　Hain　and　the　other　worlds　—　and　to　the　countries　of　Urraa？　But　to　you　all！　So　that　one　of　you　cannot　use　if　as　AIo　wants　to　do；　to　get　power　over　the　others；　to　get　richer　or　to　win　more　wars。　So　that　you　cannot　use　the　truth　for　your　private　profit　but　only　for　the　mon　good。〃

〃In　the　end；　the　truth　usually　insists　upon　serving　only　the　mon　good；〃　Keng　said。

〃In　the　end；　yes；　but　I　am　not　willing　to　wait　for　the　end。　I　have　one　lifetime；　and　I　will　not　spend　it　for　greed　and　profiteering　and　lies。　I　will　not　serve　any　master。〃

Kong's　calmness　was　a　much　more　forced；　willed　affair　than　it　kad　been　at　the　beginning　of　their　talk。　The　strength　of　Shevek's　personality；　unchecked　by　any　selfconsciousness　or　consideration　of　selfdefense；　was　formidable。　She　was　shaken　by　him　and　looked　at　him　with　passion　and　a　certain　awe。

〃What　is　it　like；〃　she　said；　〃what　can　it　be　like；　the　society　that　made　you？　I　heard　you　speak　of　Anarres；　in　the　Square；　and　I　wept　listening　to　you；　but　I　didn't　really　believe　you。　Men　always　speak　so　of　their　homes；　of　the　absent　land。　。。　。　But　you　are　not　like　other　men。　There　is　a　difference　in　you。〃

〃The　difference　of　the　idea。〃　he　said。　〃It　was　for　that　Idea　that　I　came　here；　too。　For　Anarres。　Since　my　people　refuse　to　look　outward；　I　thought　I　might　make　others　look　at　us。　I　thought　it　would　be　better　not　to　hold　apart　behind　a　wall；　but　to　be　a　society　among　the　others；　a　world　among　the　others；　giving　and　taking。　But　there　I　was　wrong　—　I　was　absolutely　wrong。〃

〃Why　so？　Surely—〃

〃Because　there　is　nothing；　nothing　on　Urras　that　we　Anarresti　need！　We　left　with　empty　hands；　a　hundred　and　seventy　years　ago；　and　we　were　right！　We　took　nothing。　Because　there　is　nothing　here　but　States　and　their　weapons；　the　rich　and　their　lies；　and　the　poor　and　their　misery。　There　is　no　way　to　act　rightly；　with　a　clear　heart；　on　Urras。　There　a　nothing　you　can　do　that　profit　does　not　enter　into；　and　fear　of　loss；　and　a　wish　for　power。　You　cannot　say　good　morning　without　knowing　which　of　you　is　'superior'　to　the　other；　or　trying　to　prove　it。　You　cannot　act　like　a　brother　to　other　people；　you　must　manipulate　them；　or　mand　them；　or　obey　them；　or　trick　them。　You　cannot　touch　another　person；　yet　they　will　not　leave　you　alone。　There　is　no　freedom。　It　is　a　box　—　Unas　is　a　box；　a　package；　with　all　the　beautiful　wrapping　of　blue　sky　and　meadows　and　forests　and　great　cities。　And　you　open　the　box；　and　what　is　inside　it？　A　black　cellar　full　of　dust；　and　a　dead　man。　A　man　whose　hand　was　shot　off　because　he　held　it　out　to　others。　I　have　been　in　Hell　at　last。　Desar　was　right；　it　is　Urras；　Hell　is　Urras。〃

For　all　his　passion　he　spoke　simply；　with　a　kind　of　humility；　and　again　the　Ambassador　from　Terra　watched　him　with　a　guarded　yet　sympathetic　wonder；　as　if　she　had　no　idea　how　to　take　that　simplicity。

〃We　are　both　aliens　here；　Shevek；〃　she　said　at　last。　〃I　from　much　farther　away　in　space　and　time。　Yet　I　begin　to　think　that　I　am　much　less　alien　to　Urras　than　you　are。。。。　Let　me　tell　you　how　this　world　seems　to　me。　To　me；　and　to　an　my　fellow　Terrans　who　have　seen　the　pla；　Urras：　is　the　kindliest；　most　various；　most　beautiful　of　an　the　inhabited　worlds。　It　is　the　world　that　es　as　close　as　any　could　to　Paradise。〃

She　looked　at　him　calmly　and　keenly；　he　said　nothing。

〃I　know　it's　full　of　evils；　full　of　human　injustice；　greed；　folly；　waste。　But　it　is　also　full　of　good；　of　beauty；　vitality；　achievement。　It　is　what　a　world　should　be！　It　is　alive；　tremendously　alive　—　alive；　despite　all　its　evils；　with　hope。　Is　that　not　true？〃

He　nodded。

〃Now；　you　man　from　a　world　I　cannot　even　imagine；　you　who　see　my　Paradise　as　Hell；　will　you　ask　what　my　world　must　be　like？〃

He　was　silent；　watching　her；　his　light　eyes　steady。

〃My　world；　my　Earth　is　a　ruin。　A　pla　spoiled　by　the　human　spedes。　We　multiplied　and　gobbled　and　fought　until　there　was　nothing　left；　and　then　we　died。　We　controlled　neither　appetite　nor　violence；　we　did　not　adapt　We　destroyed　ourselves。　But　we　destroyed　the　world　first。　There　are　no　forests　left　on　my　Earth。　The　air　is　grey；　the　sky　is　grey；　it　is　always　hot。　It　is　habitable；　it　is　still　habitable；　but　not　as　this　world　is。　This　is　a　living　world；　a　harmony。　Mine　is　a　discord。　You　Odonians　chose　a　desert；　we　Terrans　made　a　desert。。。　We　survive　there；　as　you　do。　People　are　tough！　There　are　nearly　a　half　billion　of　us　now。　Once　there　were　nine　billion。　You　can　see　the　old　cities　still　everywhere。　The　bones　and　bricks　go　to　dust；　but　the　little　pieces　of　plastic　never　do　—　they　never　adapt　either。　We　failed　as　a　species；　as　a　social　species。　We　are　here　noan　societies　on　other　worlds；　only　because　of　the　chanty　of　the　Hainish。　They　came；　they　brought　us　help。　They　built　ships　and　gave　them　to　us；　so　we　could　leave　our　ruined　world。　They　treat　us　gently；　charitably；　as　the　strong　man　treats　the　sick　one。　They　are　a　very　strange　people；　the　Hainish；　older　than　any　of　us；　infinitely　generous。　They　are　altruists。　They　are　moved　by　a　guilt　we　don't　even　understand；　despite　an　our　crimes。　They　are　moved　in　all　they　do；　I　think；　by　the　past。　their　endless　past　Well；　we　had　saved　what　could　be　saved；　and　made　a　kind　of　life　in　the　ruins；　on　Terra；　in　the　only　way　it　could　be　done：　by　total　centralization。　Total　control　over　the　use　of　every　acre　of　land；　every　scrap　of　metal；　every　ounce　of　fuel。　Total　rationing；　birth　control；　euthanasia；　universal　conscription　into　the　labor　force。　The　absolute　regimentation　of　each　life　toward　the　goal　of　racial　survival。　We　had　achieved　that　much；　when　the　Hainish　came。　They　brought　us　。。。　a　little　more　hope。　Not　very　much。　We　have　outlived　it。　。　。　。　We　can　only　look　at　this　splendid　world；　this　vital　society；　this　Urras；　this　Paradise；　from　the　outside。　We　are　capable　only　of　admiring　it；　and　maybe　envying　it　a　little。　Not　very　much。〃

〃Then　Anarres；　as　you　heard　me　speak　of　it　—　what　would　Anarres　mean　to　you；　Keng？〃

Nothing。　Nothing；　Shevek。　We　forfeited　our　chance　for　Anarres　centuries　ago；　before　it　ever　came　into　being。〃

Shevek　got　up　and　went　over　to　the　wind