一无所有-第73部分

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Nothing。　Nothing；　Shevek。　We　forfeited　our　chance　for　Anarres　centuries　ago；　before　it　ever　came　into　being。〃

Shevek　got　up　and　went　over　to　the　window；　one　of　the　long　horizontal　window　slits　of　the　tower。　There　was　a　niche　in　the　wall　below　it；　into　which　an　archer　would　step　up　to　look　down　and　aim　at　assailants　at　the　gate；　if　one　did　not　take　that　step　up　one　could　see　nothing　from　it　but　the　sunwashed；　slightly　misty　sky。　Shevek　stood　below　the　window　gazing　out；　the　light　filling　his　eyes。　

〃You　don't　understand　what　time　is；〃　he　said。　〃You　say　the　past　is　gone；　the　future　is　not　real；　there　is　no　change；　no　hope。　You　think　Anarres　is　a　future　that　cannot　be　reached；　as　your　past　cannot　be　changed。　So　there　is　nothing　but　the　present；　this　Urras；　the　rich；　real；　stable　present；　the　moment　now。　And　you　think　that　ia　something　which　can　be　possessed！　You　envy　it　a　little。　You　think　it's　something　you　would　like　to　have。　But　it　is　not　real；　you　know。　It　is　not　stable；　not　solid　—　nothing　is。　Things　change；　change。　You　cannot　have　anything。　。　。　。　And　least　of　all　can　you　have　the　present；　unless　you　accept　with　it　the　past　and　the　future。　Not　only　the　past　but　also　the　future；　not　only　the　future　but　also　the　past！　Because　they　are　real：　only　their　reality　makes　the　present　real。　You　will　not　achieve　or　even　understand　Urras　unless　you　accept　the　reality；　the　enduring　reality；　of　Anarres。　You　are　right；　we　are　the　key。　But　when　you　said　that；　you　did　not　really　believe　it。　You　don't　believe　in　Anarres。　You　don't　believe　in　me；　though　I　stand　with　you；　in　this　room；　in　this　moment　。　。　。　My　people　were　right；　and　I　was　wrong；　in　this：　We　cannot　e　to　you。　You　will　not　let　us。　You　do　not　believe　in　change；　in　chance；　in　evolution。　You　would　destroy　us　rather　than　admit　our　reality；　rather　than　admit　that　there　is　hope！　We　cannot　e　to　you。　We　can　only　wait　for　you　to　e　to　us。〃

Keng　sat　with　a　startled　and　thoughtful；　and　perhaps　slightly　dazed；　expression。

〃I　don't　understand　—　I　don't　understand。〃　she　said　at　last　〃You　are　like　somebody　from　our　own　past；　the　old　idealists；　the　visionaries　of　freedom；　and　yet　I　don't　understand　you；　as　if　you　were　trying　to　tell　me　of　future　things；　and　yet；　as　you　say；　you　are　here；　now！　。　。　。〃　She　had　not　lost　her　shrewdness。　She　said　after　a　little　while；　〃Then　why　is　it　that　you　came　to　me；　Shevek？〃

〃Oh；　to　give　you　the　idea。　My　theory；　you　know。　To　save　it　from　being　a　property　of　the　loti；　an　investment　or　a　weapon。　If　you　are　willing；　the　simplest　thing　to　do　would　be　to　broadcast　the　equations；　to　give　them　to　physicists　all　over　this　world；　and　to　the　Hainish　and　the　other　worlds；　as　soon　as　possible。　Would　you　be　willing　to　do　that？〃

〃More　than　willing。〃

〃It　will　e　to　only　a　few　pages。　The　proofs　and　some　of　the　implications　would　take　longer；　but　that　can　e　later；　and　other　people　can　work　on　them　if　I　cannot。〃

〃But　what　will　you　do　then？　Do　you　mean　to　go　back　to　Nio？　The　city　is　quiet　now；　apparently；　the　insurrection　seems　to　be　defeated；　at　least　for　the　time　being；　but　I'm　afraid　the　loti　government　regards　you　as　an　insurrectionary。　There　is　Thu；　of　course—〃

〃No。　I　don't　want　to　stay　here。　I　am　no　altruist！　If　you　would　help　me　in　this　too；　I　might　go　home。　Perhaps　the　loti　would　be　willing　to　send　me　home；　even。　It　would　be　consistent；　I　think；　to　make　me　disappear；　to　deny　my　existence。　Of　course；　they　might　find　it　easier　to　do　by　killing　me　or　putting　me　in　jail　for　life。　I　don't　want　to　die　yet；　and　I　don't　want　to　die　here　in　Hell　at　all。　Where　does　your　soul　go；　when　you　die　in　Hell？〃　He　laughed；　he　had　regained　all　his　gentleness　of　manner。　〃But　if　you　could　send　me　home；　I　think　they　would　be　relieved。　Dead　anarchists　make　martyrs；　you　know；　and　keep　living　for　centuries。　But　absent　ones　can　be　fotten。〃

〃I　thought　I　knew　what　'realism'　was；〃　Keng　said。　She　smiled；　but　it　was　not　an　easy　smile。

〃How　can　you；　if　you　don't　know　what　hope　is？〃

Don't　judge　us　too　hardly；　Shevek。〃

〃I　dont　judge　you　at　all。　I　only　ask　your　help；　for　which　I　have　nothing　to　give　in　return。〃

〃Nothing？　You　call　your　theory　nothing？〃

〃Weigh　it　in　the　balance　with　the　freedom　of　one　single　human　spirit；〃　he　said；　turning　to　her；　〃and　which　will　weigh　heavier？　Can　you　tell？　I　cannot。〃












Chapter　12






〃I　want　to　introduce　a　project；〃　said　Bedap；　〃from　the　Syndicate　of　Initiative。　You　know　that　we've　been　in　radio　contact　with　Unas　for　about　twenty　decads—〃

〃Against　the　remendation　of　this　council；　and　the　Defense　Federative；　and　a　majority　vote　of　the　rest！〃

〃Yes；〃　Bedap　said；　looking　the　speaker　up　and　down；　but　not　protesting　the　interruption。　There　were　no　rules　of　parliamentary　procedure　at　meetings　in　PDC。　Interruptions　were　sometimes　more　frequent　than　statements。　The　process；　pared　to　a　wellmanaged　executive　conference；　was　a　slab　of　raw　beef　pared　to　a　wiring　diagram。　Raw　beef；　however；　functions　better　than　a　wiring　diagram　would；　in　its　place　—　inside　a　living　animal。

Bedap　knew　all　his　old　opponents　on　the　ImportExport　Council；　he　had　been　ing　and　fighting　them　for　three　years　now。　This　speaker　was　a　new　one；　a　young　man；　probably　a　new　lottery　posting　to　the　PDC　List。　　Bedap　looked　him　over　benevolently　and　went　on；　〃Let's　not　refight　old　quarrels；　shall　we？　I　propose　a　new　one。　We've　received　an　interesting　message　from　a　group　on　Urras。　It　came　on　the　wave　length　our　loti　contacts　use；　but　it　didn't　e　at　a　scheduled　time；　and　was　a　weak　signal；　It　seems　to　have　been　sent　from　a　country　called　Benbili；　not　from　AIo。　The　group　called　themselves　The　Odonian　Society。'　It　appears　that　they're　postSettlement　Odonians；　existing　in　some　fashion　in　the　loopholes　of　law　and　government　on　Urras。　Their　message　was　to　*the　brothers　on　Anarres。*　You　can　read　it　in　the　Syndicate　bulletin；　it's　interesting。　They　ask　if　they　might　be　allowed　to　send　people　here。〃

〃Send　people　here？　Let　Urrasti　e　here？　Spies？〃

〃No；　as　settlers。〃

〃They　want　the　Settlement　reopened；　is　that　it；　Bedap？〃　They　say　they're　being　hounded　by　their　government；　and　are　hoping　for—〃

〃Reopen　the　Settlement！　To　any　profiteer　who　calk　himself　an　Odonian？〃

To　report　an　Anarresti　managerial　debate　in　full　would　be　difficult；　it　went　very　fast；　several　people　often　speaking　at　once；　nobody　speaking　at　great　length；　a　good　deal　of　sarcasm；　a　great　deal　left　unsaid；　the　tone　emotional；　often　fiercely　personal；　an　end　was　reached；　yet　there　was　no　conclusion。　It　was　like　an　argument　among　brothers；　or　among　thoughts　in　an　undecided　mind。

〃If　we　let　these　socalled　Odonians　e；　how　do　they　propose　to　get　here？〃

There　spoke　the　opponent　Bedap　dreaded；　the　cool；　intelligent　woman　named　Rulag。　She　had　been　his　cleverest　enemy　all　year　in　the　council。　He　glanced　at　Shevek；　who　was　attending　this　council　for　the　first　time；　to　draw　his　attention　to　her。　Somebody　had　told　Bedap　that　Rulag　was　an　engineer；　and　he　had　found　in　her　the　engineer's　clarity　and　pragmatism　of　mind；　plus　the　mechanist's　hatred　of　plexity　and　irregularity。　She　opposed　she　Syndicate　of　Initiative　on　every　issue；　including　that　of　its　right　to　exist。　　Her　arguments　were　good；　and　Bedap　respected　her。　Sometimes　when　she　spoke　of　the　strength　of　Urras；　and　the　danger　of　bargaining　with　the　strong　from　a　position　of　weakness；　he　believed　her。

For　there　were　times　when　Bedap　wondered；　privately；　whether　he　and　Shevek；　when　they　got　together　in　the　winter　of　'68　and　discussed　the　means　by　which　a　frustrated　physicist　might　print　his　work　and　municate　it　to　physicists　on　Unas；　had　not　set　off　an　uncontrollable　chain　of　events。　When　they　had　finally　set　up　radio　contact；　the　Urrasti　had　been　more　eager　to　talk；　to　exchange　information；　than　they　had　expected；　and　when　they　had　printed　reports　of　those　exchanges；　the　opposition　on　Anarres　had　been　more　virulent　than　they　had　expected。　People　on　both　worlds　were　paying　more　attention　to　them　than　was　really　fortable。　When　the　enemy　enthusiastically　embraces　you；　and　the　fellow　countrymen　bitterly　reject　you；　it　is　hard　not　to　wonder　if　you　are；　in　fact；　a　traitor。

〃I　suppose　they'd　e　on　one　of　the　freighters；〃　he　replied。