[夜与日].(night.and.day).(英)弗吉尼亚·伍尔芙.文字版-第61部分

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She　winced；　but　she　respected　him　for　saying　what　he　
did；　for　this；　after　all；　was　a　fragment　of　the　truth　which　
she　had　vowed　to　live　by。　

“And　to　me　marriage　without　love　doesn’t　seem　worth　

while；”　she　said。　

“Well；　Mary；　I’m　not　going　to　press　you；”　he　said。　“I　see　
you　don’t　want　to　marry　me。　But　love—don’t　we　all　talk　a　
great　deal　of　nonsense　about　it？　What　does　one　mean？　I　
believe　I　care　for　you　more　genuinely　than　nine　men　out　
of　ten　care　for　the　women　they’re　in　love　with。　It’s　only　a　
story　one　makes　up　in　one’s　mind　about　another　person；　
and　one　knows　all　the　time　it　isn’t　true。　Of　course　one　
knows；　why；　one’s　always　taking　care　not　to　destroy　the　
illusion。　One　takes　care　not　to　see　them　too　often；　or　to　
be　alone　with　them　for　too　long　together。　It’s　a　pleasant　
illusion；　but　if　you’re　thinking　of　the　risks　of　marriage；　it　
seems　to　me　that　the　risk　of　marrying　a　person　you’re　in　
love　with　is　something　colossal。”　

“I　don’t　believe　a　word　of　that；　and　what’s　more　you　
don’t；　either；”　she　replied　with　anger。　“However；　we　don’t　
agree；　I　only　wanted　you　to　understand。”　She　shifted　her　
position；　as　if　she　were　about　to　go。　An　instinctive　desire　
to　prevent　her　from　leaving　the　room　made　Ralph　rise　at　
this　point　and　begin　pacing　up　and　down　the　nearly　empty　
kitchen；　checking　his　desire；　each　time　he　reached　the　

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Night　and　Day　

door；　to　open　it　and　step　out　into　the　garden。　A　moralist　
might　have　said　that　at　this　point　his　mind　should　have　
been　full　of　selfreproach　for　the　suffering　he　had　caused。　
On　the　contrary；　he　was　extremely　angry；　with　the　confused　
impotent　anger　of　one　who　finds　himself　unreasonably　
but　efficiently　frustrated。　He　was　trapped　by　the　
illogicality　of　human　life。　The　obstacles　in　the　way　of　his　
desire　seemed　to　him　purely　artificial；　and　yet　he　could　
see　no　way　of　removing　them。　Mary’s　words；　the　tone　of　
her　voice　even；　angered　him；　for　she　would　not　help　him。　
She　was　part　of　the　insanely　jumbled　muddle　of　a　world　
which　impedes　the　sensible　life。　He　would　have　liked　to　
slam　the　door　or　break　the　hind　legs　of　a　chair；　for　the　
obstacles　had　taken　some　such　curiously　substantial　shape　
in　his　mind。　

“I　doubt　that　one　human　being　ever　understands　another；”　
he　said；　stopping　in　his　march　and　confronting　
Mary　at　a　distance　of　a　few　feet。　

“Such　damned　liars　as　we　all　are；　how　can　we？　But　we　
can　try。　If　you　don’t　want　to　marry　me；　don’t；　but　the　
position　you　take　up　about　love；　and　not　seeing　each　

other—isn’t　that　mere　sentimentality？　You　think　I’ve　
behaved　very　badly；”　he　continued；　as　she　did　not　speak。　
“Of　course　I　behave　badly；　but　you　can’t　judge　people　by　
what　they　do。　You　can’t　go　through　life　measuring　right　
and　wrong　with　a　footrule。　That’s　what　you’re　always　
doing；　Mary；　that’s　what　you’re　doing　now。”　

She　saw　herself　in　the　Suffrage　Office；　delivering　judgment；　
meting　out　right　and　wrong；　and　there　seemed　to　
her　to　be　some　justice　in　the　charge；　although　it　did　not　
affect　her　main　position。　

“I’m　not　angry　with　you；”　she　said　slowly。　“I　will　go　on　
seeing　you；　as　I　said　I　would。”　

It　was　true　that　she　had　promised　that　much　already；　
and　it　was　difficult　for　him　to　say　what　more　it　was　that　
he　wanted—some　intimacy；　some　help　against　the　ghost　
of　Katharine；　perhaps；　something　that　he　knew　he　had　no　
right　to　ask；　and　yet；　as　he　sank　into　his　chair　and　looked　
once　more　at　the　dying　fire　it　seemed　to　him　that　he　had　
been　defeated；　not　so　much　by　Mary　as　by　life　itself。　He　
felt　himself　thrown　back　to　the　beginning　of　life　again；　
where　everything　has　yet　to　be　won；　but　in　extreme　youth　

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one　has　an　ignorant　hope。　He　was　no　longer　certain　that　
he　would　triumph。　

CHAPTER　XX　


Happily　for　Mary　Datchet　she　returned　to　the　office　to　
find　that　by　some　obscure　Parliamentary　maneuver　the　
vote　had　once　more　slipped　beyond　the　attainment　of　
women。　Mrs。　Seal　was　in　a　condition　bordering　upon　frenzy。　
The　duplicity　of　Ministers；　the　treachery　of　mankind；　the　
insult　to　womanhood；　the　setback　to　civilization；　the　ruin　
of　her　life’s　work；　the　feelings　of　her　father’s　daughter—　
all　these　topics　were　discussed　in　turn；　and　the　office　
was　littered　with　newspaper　cuttings　branded　with　the　
blue；　if　ambiguous；　marks　of　her　displeasure。　She　confessed　
herself　at　fault　in　her　estimate　of　human　nature。　

“The　simple　elementary　acts　of　justice；”　she　said；　waving　
her　hand　towards　the　window；　and　indicating　the　foot
passengers　and　omnibuses　then　passing　down　the　far　side　
of　Russell　Square；　“are　as　far　beyond　them　as　they　ever　
were。　We　can　only　look　upon　ourselves；　Mary；　as　pioneers　
in　a　wilderness。　We　can　only　go　on　patiently　putting　the　
truth　before　them。　It　isn’t　them；”　she　continued；　taking　
heart　from　her　sight　of　the　traffic；　“it’s　their　leaders。　It’s　

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those　gentlemen　sitting　in　Parliament　and　drawing　four　
hundred　a　year　of　the　people’s　money。　If　we　had　to　put　our　
case　to　the　people；　we　should　soon　have　justice　done　to　
us。　I　have　always　believed　in　the　people；　and　I　do　so　still。　
But—”　She　shook　her　head　and　implied　that　she　would　
give　them　one　more　chance；　and　if　they　didn’t　take　advantage　
of　that　she　couldn’t　answer　for　the　consequences。　

Mr。　Clacton’s　attitude　was　more　philosophical　and　better　
supported　by　statistics。　He　came　into　the　room　after　
Mrs。　Seal’s　outburst　and　pointed　out；　with　historical　illustrations；　
that　such　reverses　had　happened　in　every　
political　campaign　of　any　importance。　If　anything；　his　
spirits　were　improved　by　the　disaster。　The　enemy；　he　said；　
had　taken　the　offensive；　and　it　was　now　up　to　the　Society　
to　outwit　the　enemy。　He　gave　Mary　to　understand　that　he　
had　taken　the　measure　of　their　cunning；　and　had　already　
bent　his　mind　to　the　task　which；　so　far　as　she　could　make　
out；　depended　solely　upon　him。　It　depended；　so　she　came　
to　think；　when　invited　into　his　room　for　a　private　conference；　
upon　a　systematic　revision　of　the　cardindex；　upon　
the　issue　of　certain　new　lemoncolored　leaflets；　in　which　

the　facts　were　marshaled　once　more　in　a　very　striking　
way；　and　upon　a　large　scale　map　of　England　dotted　with　
little　pins　tufted　with　differently　colored　plumes　of　hair　
according　to　their　geographical　position。　Each　district；　
under　the　new　system；　had　its　flag；　its　bottle　of　ink；　its　
sheaf　of　documents　tabulated　and　filed　for　reference　in　a　
drawer；　so　that　by　looking　under　M　or　S；　as　the　case　might　
be；　you　had　all　the　facts　with　respect　to　the　Suffrage　
organizations　of　that　county　at　your　fingers’　ends。　This　
would　require　a　great　deal　of　work；　of　course。　

“We　must　try　to　consider　ourselves　rather　in　the　light　of　
a　telephone　exchange—for　the　exchange　of　ideas；　Miss　
Datchet；”　he　said；　and　taking　pleasure　in　his　image；　he　
continued　it。　“We　should　consider　ourselves　the　center　of　
an　enormous　system　of　wires；　connecting　us　up　with　every　
district　of　the　country。　We　must　have　our　fingers　upon　
the　pulse　of　the　munity；　we　want　to　know　what　people　
all　over　England　are　thinking；　we　want　to　put　them　in　the　
way　of　thinking　rightly。”　The　system；　of　course；　was　only　
roughly　sketched　so　far—jotted　down；　in　fact；　during　the　
Christmas　holidays。　

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“When　you　ought　to　have　been　taking　a　rest；　Mr。　
Clacton；”　said　Mary　dutifully；　but　her　tone　was　flat　and　
tired。　

“We　learn　to　do　without　holidays；　Miss　Datchet；”　said　
Mr。　Clacton；　with　a　spark　of　satisfaction　in　his　eye。　

He　wished　particularly　to　have　her　opinion　of　the　lemon
colored　leaflet。　According　to　his　plan；　it　was　to　be　distributed　
in　immense　quantities　immediately；　in　order　to　
stimulate　and　generate；　“to　generate　and　stimulate；”　he　
repeated；　“right　thoughts　in　the　country　before　the　meeting　
of　Parliament。”　

“We　have　to　take　the　enemy　by　surprise；”　he　said。　“They　
don’t　let　the　grass　grow　under　their　feet。　Have　you　seen　
Bingham’s　address　to　his　constituents？　That’s　a　hint　of　
the　sort　of　thing　we’ve　go